Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two
Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Fish
Q: A blonde and a brunette both fell off the same building at the same. Who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.
two men were in a tower of some sort, one of them had a watch (probably not as good as mine) and he took it off. his mate was wondering why, but didn't ask. then the guy with the watch threw it out of the window of the tower. his mate stood aghast, and said 'i know you only got that thing from the market, and isn't as good as myles's watch, but it was still pretty good, so pray tell why did you choose to throw it out of the window?' his mate who had trown the watch turned, and said, 'well my dear freind, i wished to see time fly.' and his freind replied, 'thats stupid, you fool, you've ruined a perfectly good watch for the purposes of some weak comedy.' and the guy replied, 'well at least i'm trying my best, anyway lets go home.'
Couldn't find the proper/improper thread for jokes.
Why isn't it working?! bugger this bummer for a spark!
Ok, whatever. The automatic conversion of the URL fetches an error from the source and issues ensue. Just copy paste this lame joke in your browsergadget.
imgur.com/gallery/c9p1e
A man walked into a camping shop and climbed inside a tent, try as they may, they could not make him get out, so they called the police and he was arrested for loitering within tent.
Every time I read that the oldest person in the world has died, I have to do a quick check to see it isn't ME..........
Comments
A. Piano shit.
Two speedboats were stood drinking in a pub. One says to the other, "Where do you live?".
And the other one says, "I'm not telling you, you might nick my washing."
A. Gobwebs
A: Two
Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Fish
Q: A blonde and a brunette both fell off the same building at the same. Who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.
Okay so that last one isn't really crap ... :)
Necros.
A. None - Microsoft will claim 'Darkness 2006' as the new standard.
Q: How do you gget four elephants into a car?
A: Two in the front and two in the back.
Q: How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge?
A: Footprints in the butter.
Don't kill me, please. :)
They charged one and let the other two off.
Boom Boom!
[ This Message was edited by: dmsmith on 2006-03-31 21:14 ]
Shop assistant runs over and says "hey what do you think your doing"
And the blind man says "I'm having a look around"
half an hour
A. No tomatoes
A. Thora Hird.
Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, just like normal. The question is this: how did hey get in there in the first place?
A: So you can keep your hands warm while you push it.
Q: What do you call a Lada with a sunroof?
A: A skip
Q: What do you call a Lada on top of a hill?
A: A miracle.
Q: What do you call two Ladas on top of a hill?
A: A mirage.
:)
Do you know the Scottish version "Hey Mcleod, get off of my ewe"
Gary Glitter.
A: Grass. I lied about the wheels...
Woman: Officer ! I've been graped !
Cop: Don't you mean raped ?
Woman: No. There were a bunch of them...
Oh dear.....
Its the way i tells them. :)
Whats an eskimo's favourite sport ?
Snow-ker
Right, time for my tablets...
A: Because they can.
Why isn't it working?! bugger this bummer for a spark!
Ok, whatever. The automatic conversion of the URL fetches an error from the source and issues ensue. Just copy paste this lame joke in your browsergadget.
imgur.com/gallery/c9p1e
A: A chair.
Q: Why do Squirrels swim on their back's?
A: So they can keep their nuts dry.
James.
Cos that's his name.
Because the starring couple don"t marry at the end of the film!
Police are predicting no congestion for hours.