dating websites?

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  • edited October 2006
    Avoid all the stereo typical chat up one liners , girls have herd them all before

    i.e.

    So do you come here often??

    Are you tired? Because you've been running around my mind all night!

    Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

    Why don`t u come here sit on my lap and we will talk about the first thing that pops up

    Excuse me?? Do you take it up the ass?

    Hey, baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?

    Or worst of all
    You - "Did it hurt".
    The other person will natuarlly say "Did what hurt?",
    You - "When you fell from heaven."


    :lol:
    Calling all ASCII Art Architects Visit the WOS Wall of Text and contribute: https://www.yourworldoftext.com/wos
  • edited October 2006
    sonic91 wrote:
    Good evening, everyone. I'v been reading with interest, since my friend and I are looking for girlfriends (I haven't been out with a girl for 9 years and I'm only 21!) Any advice about meeting them and talking to them? Most girls in bars nowadays seem to hang out with a group. Are there any single girls round my age that are on this forum, or is this now getting into inappropriateness? (wow, that's a long word! does that word even exist?)

    once you get a girl:

    always ask for a recipt when your out with her, it will make you look like a business man.

    never giver her nicknames like box car.
  • edited October 2006
    My favourite chat up line is:

    I hope you've brought a crash helmet with you...

    Why's that ?

    Cos you're gonna go thru the fucking headboard otherwise....
  • edited October 2006
    My favourite chat up line is:

    I hope you've brought a crash helmet with you...

    Why's that ?

    Cos you're gonna go thru the fucking headboard otherwise....

    that's terrible.

    i used to go up to girls and ask them 'what song is this?' (to the one playing in the club) it usually got the conversation going, without the embaressment of them telling you to f**k off.
  • edited October 2006
    Worst chat up lines (which my girlfriend says lads use almost everytime she goes out with her mates):

    1) What does it feel like talking to the most handsome man in town ?

    2) Excuse me, what's the best chat up line to get girls ?

    3) Where's the best place to go tonight ?

    4) Nice tits.
  • edited October 2006
    Worst chat-up line: Stop, or I'll shoot.
  • edited October 2006
    1. Want to go halves on a bastard?
    2. I bet you take it up the dirt box.
    3. I might not have much, but it would fill a pram.

    etc...
    My test signature
  • edited October 2006
    i was in a pub once overhearing a conversation by some 'lads'. who reckoned a great way to pull birds was to pretend to be russian. (im still not sure how they came to that conclusion.)
  • edited October 2006
    sonic91 wrote:
    Good evening, everyone. I'v been reading with interest, since my friend and I are looking for girlfriends (I haven't been out with a girl for 9 years and I'm only 21!) Any advice about meeting them and talking to them? Most girls in bars nowadays seem to hang out with a group. Are there any single girls round my age that are on this forum, or is this now getting into inappropriateness? (wow, that's a long word! does that word even exist?)

    One good way to draw the ladys attention if you doesn?t have the looks is to stick out of the crowd with your style or just look odd enough. Most will ignore you anyway but there will always be some who will find you interesting and try to figure out what kind of person you are by speaking to you! Take me for an example, i look like shit and wimen would walk circles around me in bars. Then i decided to make dreadlocks out of my semi-long hair and everything changed. This was about eight years ago and i think i was the only one in this small city who got dreads then, now it?s something every kid got. Don?t try anything over the top tough that will just make you look silly...
  • edited October 2006
    *scribbles down tips in notepad* erm

    Some good advice offered :)

    things not to do or do....

    * do not drink 99 pence cider, it might give you a right good ol` buzz, but all women will scoff... it will also not work if you try to impress them by downing a bottle in under 10 seconds... if they request that you try, thank them kindly but say no.

    *do not rabbit on like a crazy fool when steamin`. They`ll be far more interested if your quiet than too loud.

    * look them in the eye, it`s not what you say, it`s all in the eyes.
  • edited October 2006
    mile wrote:
    that's terrible.

    i used to go up to girls and ask them 'what song is this?' (to the one playing in the club) it usually got the conversation going, without the embaressment of them telling you to f**k off.

    Yep thats totally true, used to do that as well, gets them talking and if they like the same type of music as you thats a huge plus.

    Also asking them what time the club shuts always got them talking , just lines which arent OTT cheesey ones
  • edited October 2006
    so `What kind of cheese is this` won`t work then paul?

    Sorry, just trying to learn :)
  • edited October 2006
    As Frank Skinner says "Always go for a golden oldie, as they can make you a great breakfast in the morning which is a bonus"
  • edited October 2006
    i was once in a club (in my younger days) and i noticed a girl kept looking at me, so i smiled, she came over and asked if she could try my drink, so i let her, one thing led to another and she sucked me off.

    i tried the same thing a few times. you'd be supised that it does work. although it does work better if said girl has a cocktail or something that isn't easily recognisable.
  • edited October 2006
    If your taking a date out for a curry or a dodgy kebab after the pub be sure not to 69 them the next morning.

    An old mate of mine did, but it was crap....

    Apparently at the moment of ecstasy he lost control of his bowels and yes it was crap.... big wet sloppy crap all over her face :lol:

    Needless to say he got dumped... :lol:
    Calling all ASCII Art Architects Visit the WOS Wall of Text and contribute: https://www.yourworldoftext.com/wos
  • edited October 2006
    Dont know what quite to say after that last post !

    That was alwayyssssssssssss one of my biggest fears, just getting a dodgy stomach the next day at some strangers house or stuck in London in a club with sudden major stomach aches. As we all know the toilets in a club arent the best place to be if your gonna be there with hours with major cramps and pains !
  • edited October 2006
    You need to workout on your Quadriceps....

    Never touch the rim..... to Levitate is the secret... :D
    Calling all ASCII Art Architects Visit the WOS Wall of Text and contribute: https://www.yourworldoftext.com/wos
  • edited October 2006
    Best chat up line ever...

    Do you like Motorhead?





    This is perfect. It completely eliminates the kind of women that you just don't want to go out with. If they're still there after you've said it, then you just know you're onto a good thing.
  • edited October 2006
    mile wrote:
    i used to go up to girls and ask them 'what song is this?' (to the one playing in the club) it usually got the conversation going, without the embaressment of them telling you to f**k off.

    this is probably the best advice here. the thing about the sloppy crap had me in hysterics (I know it shouldn't have!) I like the "not recommended" chat-up lines. Cheers for all your advice, everyone. Don't think I sound too lame, asking for this kind of advice on this kind of forum?
  • edited October 2006
    all i can say is there's hope for anyone.


    even -i- went out on a date on friday, with a girl who i simply saw went to one of the same nights as me a few times (when certain djs were playing at a particular bar). as a result, it turns out we've similar tastes, and get on really well; no chat-up lines, no bull-sh*t, just got talking, enquired where the boyfriend was (had to check!) and then asked for her number.

    considering i've never been much of the ladies man, i'd have to say this shows promise for anyone who just makes the effort to meet like-minded people in whatever scene your into.

    cant guarentee it'll go anywhere though, but it's nice to be in this situation for a change!
  • edited October 2006
    sonic91 wrote:
    this is probably the best advice here. the thing about the sloppy crap had me in hysterics (I know it shouldn't have!) I like the "not recommended" chat-up lines. Cheers for all your advice, everyone. Don't think I sound too lame, asking for this kind of advice on this kind of forum?

    Well its difficult getting advice off your mates sometimes, they'll either take the mick out of you or wont have great advice as theyre single !

    Just dont come over too keen as girls hate that, start off as just being friendly and let it go from there.
  • edited October 2006
    psj3809 wrote:
    Well its difficult getting advice off your mates sometimes, they'll either take the mick out of you or wont have great advice as theyre single !

    Just dont come over too keen as girls hate that, start off as just being friendly and let it go from there.

    why do girls not like someone who's very keen. id love it if i girl kept staring at me, followed me home, bombarded me with phone calls and went through my bins.

    ..but seriously though. you dont want to come off too keen, but then again you dont want to act like you aren't bothered about said girl.
  • edited October 2006
    When me and my Wife met we were just friends for about 2 1/2 months before we started going out.

    I wanted to go out with here very soon after I had met her but she did not want do get involved in a relationship as she was only in the UK for a year.

    However, as soon a another girl at the rock climbing club we attened (and still attend) started taking a keen interest in me, that was it we began dating....
    Calling all ASCII Art Architects Visit the WOS Wall of Text and contribute: https://www.yourworldoftext.com/wos
  • edited October 2006
    Scottie_uk wrote:
    When me and my Wife met we were just friends for about 2 1/2 months before we started going out.

    I wanted to go out with here very soon after I had met her but she did not want do get involved in a relationship as she was only in the UK for a year.

    However, as soon a another girl at the rock climbing club we attened (and still attend) started taking a keen interest in me, that was it we began dating....

    thats always a good trick.

    my mate reckoned that a good way to pull was to wear a wedding ring when you go out. so we decided to give it a try. unfortunatly we didn't have any wedding bands lying around to use.
  • edited October 2006
    i was in a club once and got chatting to this girl, she initiated the conversation (i like your t-shirt) so i thought i was on to a winner... then she asked me if i liked her her, which was obviously just dyed bright blue or purple or something. Remembering a classic James Bond quote (and being quite pi$$ed) i said "as long as the collars and cuffs match"

    she walked off pretty sharpish, without saying another word to me... 007 i am not.
  • edited October 2006
    mile wrote:

    my mate reckoned that a good way to pull was to wear a wedding ring when you go out. so we decided to give it a try. unfortunatly we didn't have any wedding bands lying around to use.

    LOL!! :-D That's what George tried doing in one of those Seinfeld episodes. He lost something like 3 women in just as many minutes! :-D

    I would have thought that to wack on the ring and going out on dates sends the message to women that your married, but you want to do something to them. What's stopping them from doing the same thing if you did marry them?!
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