Farming
i'm gonna start planting things in my gf's back garden. (oooer - ed)
ive started by planting some seedling in little pots. (corn) and some broad beans in an outside tub. there is a strip of arrable land down the middle of her garden that i am gonna propogate. but the only experience ive had is from playing harvest moon, but i dont think i can pray to the mushroom gods or whatever they are called.
anyhoo, i spent the weekend seiving the dirt for rocks, and throwing the rocks over the neghibors walll. is this the right thing to do? or do some plants need rock buddies in the earth. also i saw a bird in the garden with a worn in its mouth, is this a good omen?
any tips you have would be great as i ran my mouth off at a recent dinner party she was at, that i was a shit hot gardener and that i used to work in a garden centre.
ive started by planting some seedling in little pots. (corn) and some broad beans in an outside tub. there is a strip of arrable land down the middle of her garden that i am gonna propogate. but the only experience ive had is from playing harvest moon, but i dont think i can pray to the mushroom gods or whatever they are called.
anyhoo, i spent the weekend seiving the dirt for rocks, and throwing the rocks over the neghibors walll. is this the right thing to do? or do some plants need rock buddies in the earth. also i saw a bird in the garden with a worn in its mouth, is this a good omen?
any tips you have would be great as i ran my mouth off at a recent dinner party she was at, that i was a shit hot gardener and that i used to work in a garden centre.
Post edited by mile on
Comments
Imagine your average sized Tesco. That was the size of one our greenhouses, we had 5 of them, and an outdoor section. I worked the outdoor section. You need a bicycle or a tractor to get around it.
It was owned by a Dutch company.
Joop Duff, you are a twat, if you are reading this, and if it wasn't for your senior years, I would have knocked your block off, instead of threatening suing you when you fired me. :) Funny how 24 hours later, I got a letter saying how sorry you were to lose me, here was my backpay, pay in lieu of notice, holiday pay, glowing references isn't it?
ahem,....
Bitter, me? No. :)
I'd plant spuds first year mate, sorts the soil out nicely.
Watch out for slugs.
Grow some chilis.
Now is this like,aeroplane landing strip size, or are wea talking 12 inch across gap between the concrete for where the car drives down? :D
no i think thats a landing strip as we know in the trade when ladies shave either side of their hair on their vadge
errrrrrrrrrm
ha ha its not that small. :) its about 2 foot wide and maybe 20 foot long. and then there is various grown bags and pots.
I'd grow spuds in the lot. Then the following year, divide it into 3. two 2x8 sections, with 2x4 at one end with pots on. With the two 2x8 sections, I'd rotate root/bulbs and leave veg each year it the two strips, and grow herbs in the pots.
If you have room to the sides, maybe plant some fruit trees, such as self fertilising apple, maybe Coxs Orange Pippin, doesn't need too much TLC. Plum trees are okay, but are fickle fruit porducers, some years you get none, others you have to pick them before the branches break.
You can save a lot of time by buying pre grown veggies from the High Street. These will be better looking and cheaper than anything you can grow yourself.
While on the subject you would probably be advised to buy a fake beard too as that would also be better than anything you could grow yourself.
so why do they sell sieves in the garden center then?
For sieving flower
no it cant be, it must be to sieve rocks.
funny you should mention that, i found two human teeth while i was sifting the dirt, also i found part of a tile, and the part of my pot. luckily my gf is an archeologist so she was quick to identify these items. she says i shouldn't talk to anyone about the teeth just yet, as i may find more before i finish digging the hole.
You should look into getting 3-4 bee hives too on your allotment if they allow it. When I had my 6 acres my ex kept bees. They are pretty easy to maintain (and dont form a cartoon arrow and attack you) and all your veggies will be well pollinated with the bonus of a crap load of honey too.
nice one, you have become a proper farmer like that lad in harvest moon. i will also take some pics of my little plot. :)
The whole point of an allotment is to have a shed, a shed where you brew beer and wine, or just keep a stash of cans, and sit in a deck chair, half in and half out of the shed listening to the cricket on the radio, and also your younger siblings steal the key, except you know they have it, and crash there occasionally when in trouble with the parents, or drunk etc
You just made me miss England.
The shed also comes in handy when you pick up some old slapper at the pub.
...or fill your shed with 20+ asylum seekers, and make them look after your plot for a penny a day. then walk around in a white suit wearing a panama hat, saying things like 'work sets you free' 'first we get tha money, then we get tha power, then we get tha women'.
Stick with us and we'll make you Miss World too!
Oooh! What a zinger!! ... Foggie is back in the hizz-ouse!!!
You will be amazed at what the raddish tastes like.
You can repeat this every couple of weeks.
BTW if you can get a couple of dozen onion sets - get them in now too.
Do a bit, plant a bit otherwise you'll get sick of the whole thing.
Little sticks everywhere to discourage cats digging the nice soft soil and leaving deposits.
ive eaten raddish b4 :)
we've pretty much got what we need to plant, might try some onions tho.
nice tip there for the cat deterant. thnx.
any tips about slugs? or them other ones, the ones with the shell.
Learn martial arts! I hear them there turtles can be aggressive!
The French cook and eat the latter. Otherwise, try slug pellets.
The slugs haven't been as bad this year as last year: last year before half my jalapeno chilli plants had a chance to get any size at all, the slugs had munched them to the ground.
Alternately, you could always grow some types of palm tree. OK, you can't eat them, but slugs don't bother them and if you get some chamaerops humilis (Mediterranean dwarf fan palm) they are as tough as boots and you can impress her indoors by saying that your mad gardening skillz are so great you can grow palms in Yorkshire. The reality is that all you do is dig a hole, stick the chammy in, bung on a bit of Miracle-Gro and it's reputedly hardy to -12 and takes virtually nil maintenance :-) Not quite as soft as its mediterranean origin may suggest.
Cut an empty plastic bottle in half and bury the half that now looks like plastic a pint glass - near to your plants - and put some beer in it. Don't panic - you can use really shit beer - barman slops or dregs. Slugs like beer and will investigate. However slugs have no head for beer and will die of their alcohol addiction swimming in this sea of wet temptation. Slugs don't like lager or Magners over ice.
Super market raddish tastes like water in comparison to home grown.
Re: slugs and snails. Bollocks to all that green crap. Shower proof slug pellets. Everything else is crap by comparison.
yeah my dad used to grown them, wont touch shop bought, you can buy good ones at some decent green grocers or farm shops.
i might get some slug pellets. or some sort of lemmings style beer trap.