Romance is dead, or at least it's got a dead arm

edited September 2008 in Chit chat
It's the wifes birthday tomorrow and I've got her a really nice card, but I had no idea what to get her, she has everything.

So I came up with an idea for what I'd get her, and It's a good idea, if it's not too expensive. Only problem is I don't get paid til' thursday nightime which means I don't get home with money til' friday, which is no longer the wifes B'day.

Right so this is where the thread title kicks in.

I thought like many sad saps out there I'll write her a song, and this is what I came up with.

You see flowers baby, when I see weeds.
You see opportunity, when I see greed.
You say throw it away, I say make it last.
You see 10 years from now, when I see the past.
When you see happy people I see bums.
When you see perfect houses, I see slums.
You see the perfect world, something I can't do.
When I was sleeping in a bus stop, where were you?

that's 1 verse I came up with that in about 20 seconds, and the sad thing is I found myself rapping it to myself :D

Not exactly mushy is it :lol:
Post edited by dm_boozefreek on
You can't expect me to have lunch with a man who's favourite part of the chicken is the right wing!
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Comments

  • edited September 2008
    Gaylord!!!
    My test signature
  • edited September 2008
    Bollocks!!!
    You can't expect me to have lunch with a man who's favourite part of the chicken is the right wing!
  • edited September 2008
    I thought you of all people at least knew what to do with a dead arm ... romance it!
  • edited September 2008
    You don't know how hard it was for me to post that.....and not to end it with "Bitch!" :lol:
    You can't expect me to have lunch with a man who's favourite part of the chicken is the right wing!
  • edited September 2008
    You don't know how hard it was for me to post that.....and not to end it with "Bitch!" :lol:

    But you did ... right there ... see ... in your quote above ... it's at the end, yup. The very last word there.
  • edited September 2008
    What do you buy the person who has everything, something to put it in.
  • edited September 2008
    that's 1 verse I came up with that in about 20 seconds, and the sad thing is I found myself rapping it to myself :D

    I think it's quite catchy... What it needs now is some sort of Denny Blaze-esque backing track!!
  • edited September 2008
    chop983 wrote: »
    What do you buy the person who has everything, something to put it in.

    Sounds like that person needs a black-hole the size of a universe.
  • edited September 2008
    two words my freind.


    postal order.
  • edited September 2008
    mile wrote: »
    two words my freind.


    postal order.

    He's already married ... no need to add another nag to his life :grin:
  • edited September 2008
    chop983 wrote: »
    What do you buy the person who has everything, something to put it in.

    I mean she doesn't need any more stuff, and if she does the bank of mom will buy it for her :evil:
    You can't expect me to have lunch with a man who's favourite part of the chicken is the right wing!
  • edited September 2008
    I mean she doesn't need any more stuff, and if she does the bank of mom will buy it for her :evil:

    Is her mum fit?

    (who said romance's dead. Ed.)
  • edited September 2008
    chop983 wrote: »
    Is her mum fit?

    She ain't bad , that's for sure :D
    You can't expect me to have lunch with a man who's favourite part of the chicken is the right wing!
  • edited September 2008
    She ain't bad , that's for sure :D

    time to suckle from the bank of mom i think, just make sure you don't make any deposits.
  • edited September 2008
    mile wrote: »
    time to suckle from the bank of mom i think, just make sure you don't make any deposits.

    You dirty old man.
  • edited September 2008
    chop983 wrote: »
    You dirty old man.

    are you turning into harold steptoe now? :-P
  • edited September 2008
    chop983 wrote: »
    What do you buy the person who has everything, something to put it in.

    There was this website about 10 years ago that had the perfect gift for someone who had everything - nothing.

    It had whole pages of what nothing could do and how it could improve your life.

    I got linked to it from Nothing Records, but I've never been able to find that page again. Even a couple of months after I first found it I couldn't find it again.
    Oh, no. Every time you turn up something monumental and terrible happens.
    I don’t think I have the stomach for it.
    --Raziel (Legend of Kain: Soul Reaver 2)

    https://www.youtube.com/user/VincentTSFP
  • edited September 2008
    You see flowers baby, when I see weeds.
    You see opportunity, when I see greed.
    You say throw it away, I say make it last.
    You see 10 years from now, when I see the past.
    When you see happy people I see bums.
    When you see perfect houses, I see slums.
    You see the perfect world, something I can't do.
    When I was sleeping in a bus stop, where were you?

    Err, it's great, right up till the last line.
    On those afternoons in utopia..
  • edited September 2008
    Hmmmm ! Please let us know her reaction, no offence but i cant believe she wont laugh !

    Get her a nice piece of jewellry, a ring or something ? Sounds like you were having a few problems before as you were getting fed up of her taking the piss with her mum and you mentioned going back home.

    Why dont you take her away on a nice holiday ?
  • edited September 2008
    ZnorXman wrote: »
    I thought you of all people at least knew what to do with a dead arm ... romance it!

    Indeed. It feels like someone else is doing it when you have a dead arm.
  • edited September 2008
    Daren wrote: »
    Indeed. It feels like someone else is doing it when you have a dead arm.

    Sounds like you are into autoerotic tourniquets ... careful, Milesy can attest to their addictiveness (isn't that right, eh, Stumpy)
  • edited September 2008
    I'm not actually going to sing it to her, I can't sing for toffee :D

    Just putting something down, so I could get it out of my head.

    The bus stop bit is a bit silly because the time when I actually was dossing in a bus stop was about 14 years ago, and she would've been about 9 or 10. But I suppose that's the point I was making I was sleeping in a bus stop,because I'd outstayed my welcome at all the friends houses I could doss at and at the time I just felt I couldn't go home. At that time sure enough she was a little kid and I didn't know her, but I know she would've been sitting at home playing eating nice food watching TV or something. Here's me in a frigging bus stop at the end of march, pissing down with rain eating a bag of crisps I nicked from a shop round the corner.

    I will say my ma and my gran were quite happy when I went home, they didn't even know I'd roughed it, for almost 2 weeks, oh well! Apparently the school had been on the phone wanting to know where I was too?

    I dunno I actually expected more sucker punches for posting it up, so I suppose I can say thanks to everybody for not being too mean :D
    You can't expect me to have lunch with a man who's favourite part of the chicken is the right wing!
  • edited September 2008

    I dunno I actually expected more sucker punches for posting it up, so I suppose I can say thanks to everybody for not being too mean :D

    gaylord. :p
  • edited September 2008
    Just give the card and tell her she should be grateful.

    She will understand. :-)
  • edited September 2008
    Greet her naked at the door ... tell her you thought her birthday party (of two) everyone should be just wearing their birthday suit.
  • edited September 2008
    Tell her you were going to buy her a gift but you sent your money to the beanz hurricane Ike disaster fund instead...donated in her name.

    EDIT: I could even authenticate it by sending a thank you note, with a photo of a miserable looking beanz holding a trail mix bar.
  • edited September 2008
    beanz wrote: »
    Tell her you were going to buy her a gift but you sent your money to the beanz hurricane Ike disaster fund instead...donated in her name.

    EDIT: I could even authenticate it by sending a thank you note, with a photo of a miserable looking beanz holding a trail mix bar.

    Nah, you should be holding a turkey, what with all the moolah he/she sent you.

    BTW Welcome back ... did you recycle your wee?
  • edited September 2008
    ZnorXman wrote: »
    Nah, you should be holding a turkey, what with all the moolah he/she sent you.

    BTW Welcome back ... did you recycle your wee?

    Yes, put it in the coffee machine at work this morning.
  • edited September 2008
    beanz wrote: »
    Yes, put it in the coffee machine at work this morning.

    Ha ha! Well, glad to hear you didn't lose your sense of humour. Sorry to hear about your gf and your troubles with Ike Turner.
  • edited September 2008
    I thought like many sad saps out there I'll write her a song, and this is what I came up with.

    You see flowers baby, when I see weeds.
    You see opportunity, when I see greed.
    You say throw it away, I say make it last.
    You see 10 years from now, when I see the past.
    When you see happy people I see bums.
    When you see perfect houses, I see slums.
    You see the perfect world, something I can't do.
    When I was sleeping in a bus stop, where were you?

    that's 1 verse I came up with that in about 20 seconds, and the sad thing is I found myself rapping it to myself :D

    Not exactly mushy is it :lol:

    GoCry.jpg

    (shamelessly hotlinked)


    Jeez! I wanna slit my wrists now...

    Go cry somewhere else, emo boy!!!
    I dunno I actually expected more sucker punches for posting it up, so I suppose I can say thanks to everybody for not being too mean

    Didn't want to disappoint :)

    (joking :D)

    Andrew
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