things your friends say..
I've just helped out a friend with something and he needs to pick up something from me, but hasn't picked it up.. and came out with the line "players need to play" like he's some big ladies man...
so I responded.. oh your going football Saturday ?
he's a friend for almost 30 years.. but I feel to say SHUT UP YOU MUG!! .thing is he's said it before and I know it ain't a joke, he's sad enough to believe it.
I think the quality line was a friend told me his friend said of fifa or maybe ISS on the psx "this is better than sex".. and they all looked at him and thought WTF ? :lol:
so I responded.. oh your going football Saturday ?
he's a friend for almost 30 years.. but I feel to say SHUT UP YOU MUG!! .thing is he's said it before and I know it ain't a joke, he's sad enough to believe it.
I think the quality line was a friend told me his friend said of fifa or maybe ISS on the psx "this is better than sex".. and they all looked at him and thought WTF ? :lol:
Post edited by fog on
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so it'd be 2 weeks of 'wazzzuuuup;
2 weeks of 'who let the dogs out' if he saw ugly women, or indeed dogs.
sort of like a david brent type character.
it was pretty funny though. :grin:
As one of my mates always says: "Sex is great. But it's not as good as the real thing... (i.e. the rattlesnake shake)" :grin:
Actually a mate who in fairness does do well with the ladies always maintained that sometimes you can't beat a good w*nk...
Sex is good and I enjoy it, but it's massively overrated :-)
Exactly, you can have sex once and that will do for a while, but you can't have just one pint.
after a lot of sex, this actually looks like a nice prospect.
Ahh with a line like that he's defo a 'nerrinch' plain and simple.
Tesco lager better than sex?
Really?
You're either not doing it right or that's some damn fine beer! :-D
i meant it as, after a lot of beer you find ugly women attractive, so after a lot of sex, you might find unappealing beer appealing.
Whenever you said anything to him he would 9 times out of 10 reply with
"Is It Badboy" or if you said something negative that happened like your car got keyed or your tv broke he would reply "Thats some Dark Sh*t". He used Badboy as an adjective for most things to which got annoying really fast. One day i was round another friends house and he rang him and asked is he could weigh out a couple of 1/8ths of skunk to which my mate said it was ok. He turns up on the doorstep shirtless apart from a thick gold chain with some really shady looking fat guy who he had failed to mention was coming. He came into the living room and his mate opened his jacket and pulled out a bag of weed that was the size of a pillow. The guy whose house it was imediatly told him to get out as he failed to tell him he was going to be there for at least an hour weighing out his sack and had made out it was a 5 minute job. Dave didnt seem to understand that this was way more large scale than he had let on and left shouting "batty boy" and "rasclart".
This was incredible as he was usually very quiet before but in the space of a month he had turned into a really poor imitation of scarface.
Another mate of mine had bumped into him and noticed the Badboy/Dark sh't he kept saying and as he worked in a sweet factory that did Love Hearts as well as other confectionery. He got all of the Love Hearts that said "Bad Boy on and put them in one bag, he also made a mock cover for it which said.
Bad Boy Bites
Ingredients - Some Dark Sh*t
he hung it up on the wall and it made everyone chuckle as they instantly knew it was taking the mick out of Dave.
I heard various stories through the next couple of years of people ripping him off and they were mainly people he had hung around with.
One instance a while fairly small scale but still hard family who basically own the soft drug market in the town he lived in heard he was selling weed which he was buying from Peterborough in the Town he lived and not buying of from them therfore undercutting them and poaching lots of their customers.
One day three members of this family and a couple of mates just walked straight into his flat unarmed while he was there and told him to give them everything he owned including his mobile and all his clothes and jewelry which he gave up without a fight.
Instead of calling it quits on the dealing he decided to set up shop in his mums house which was a very beutiful converted farm in a sleepy village where he would run his empire. A month into this relocation his best mate had teamed up with the family and had told them where he was living. On a sunday evening he gets a call from his mate who says
"Me and the family are outside and if you dont come out now with all your weed and cash we'll smash up every car in you driveway" (there were 3 cars and a Jeep). Dave did as they said and his family were none the wiser.
I didnt hear anything for a year until i heard he had moved to greece and was selling E to clubbers until the local Greek crime family had a strong word in his ear and he came back to blightly skint.
Last i heard he had moved to Oz
tell him to watch out for chopper. :D
Wot? You dizzee blad? eh Badboyeeee? :D
To annoy people I would deliberately say, "Taxi!" and hold my arm out, when in difficult situations that require total seriousness. Erm, not any more though. Having said that I'll see if the opportunity presents itself today. :lol:
Other people around me at the moment are continually using the following phrases, mainly twice during a sentence.
Thats absolutely right.
Excellante.
Oh my days.
It's a living nightmare.
In some respects…
Then there's always my old, "Hup-tup." I used to say.
If some 17 year old says it fair enough i suppose, but hearing someone older say it, just sounds weird!
I was sitting in the park with a few mates a couple of months back, and some kids came over and asked us for cigarettes ("got a spare cigarette", I hate that, there's no such thing as a spare cigarette, I smoke them all), and one of them said my mate had "sick creps". We thought he was talking about pancakes or something until he pointed at my mates Nike trainers. Daft.
word....
Sick bruv...
have kids stopped saying 'b' now?
I think so, I certainly haven't heard it for a while, yo. Hey, that rhymes!
Another one I keep hearing is "bare", supposedly meaning "lots of"...
"I was at a sick party the other night, there was bare women there, bruv!"
Excuse me? Naked ladies at a puking party? Not my thing, thanks...
Then again i have a confession, in the early 90's after Waynes World was the hit movie i think i went overboard with 'i like your car, NOTTTT'. I must say i wasnt alone in doing this annoying craze though.
So let me get this right, after drinking loads of beer you get Beer Goggles. So that would mean after having lots of sex you would get a sex thurst or nookie pallete?
It's ok, while we're making confessions, I still say "man", "wicked" and "pukka" way too much. :lol:
I totally cringe when i hear people over 50 say 'man'. Quite a few times on TV i've heard some politician in an interview use the word, i remember seeing one of the Ali G interviews with a priest or something and the priest was trying to be 'hip' so said a few times 'man'. Cringeworthy.
Its even worse when you see some guy interviewing a black bloke and the interviewer seems to suddenly think he should use the word 'man' as hes talking to some young black lad. Ridiculous.
My 10 year old son says sick all the time. I tell him if he feels sick he should go to bed. It really winds him up!
The thing is people in the 1960's were saying the word man in the same context, so it is age appropriate for the over 50's to use it. We should really cringe when the young use it, as clearly they are not inventive enough to replace it.
What I hate (just a little) and my wife does it all the time (its more prominent in american, and British teens who have been watching to much trite American import TV) is to pepper every sentence with the word like, when they are exited or angry.
It's like, so like annoying, oh my god like shut up.
The isothermal Welsh do it too, but differently they put the Like at the end of a sentence to give what they are saying emphasis. Its not so bad as the American version.
Ooorrh yeah, I'd love it over yer , but the Welsh wont pay it like.
(yer is here in English, as in over yer, come yer, what you doing yer?)
although in them days, when white people talked to black guys, they tended to say 'boy'