The Official Crap Games Competition 2013 Thread!

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Comments

  • edited February 2013
    Arjun wrote: »
    What I like about all the CGC's is the write-up that accompanies each game. Looks like this one is going to be a corker, just like the previous ones!
    That's why I quoted from the review for 100%UFES in my signature. I might even use it for my curriculum vitae ;-)

    Regards,

    Shaun.
  • edited February 2013
    A new game up!

    Type C for Crap.

    A high octance text adventure. Has references to a few WOSSERs, games clubbers may want to have a peek ;).

    I expect anyone who knows the first thing about text adventures will be able to suss this in 2 minutes flat.

    I'd be interested how few moves you can do it in.
  • edited February 2013
    This reminds me why I hate adventures. Can't get off the first screen.

    Look specturm. Look laptop. W. Unlock door. Look shelf. Play game. Load game. Break. Die. Sit. Smash door. Die.

    ******** to it. Worst game. Ever.
  • edited February 2013
    spud wrote: »
    This reminds me why I hate adventures. Can't get off the first screen.

    Look specturm. Look laptop. W. Unlock door. Look shelf. Play game. Load game. Break. Die. Sit. Smash door. Die..

    Haha, sounds like you're as bad at adventures as me! There was one obvious thing I was overlooking...
    spud wrote: »
    ******** to it. Worst game. Ever.

    The Good King Wencelas simulator gives it a run for its money :p
  • spud wrote: »
    This reminds me why I hate adventures. Can't get off the first screen.

    Look specturm. Look laptop. W. Unlock door. Look shelf. Play game. Load game. Break. Die. Sit. Smash door. Die.

    ******** to it. Worst game. Ever.

    Wow! Glowing praise! :D

    EXAMINE everything. You may want to SING if the mood takes you!
  • edited February 2013
    80 turns. Some nice writing there! But definitely a crap adventure!
  • I had no intention of entering another game. And then I played the Unofficial First Entry Simulator* and thought why not write an adventure game.

    * Am I the only one who thinks that sounds a bit rude?
  • edited February 2013
    Kweepa wrote: »
    80 turns. Some nice writing there! But definitely a crap adventure!
    It took me 132 turns, but then I did resort to lots of swearing like "Comm***** 6*" and stuff.

    Edit: This is the best text adventure that I've played all year. Kudos!

    Regards,

    Shaun.
  • edited February 2013
    I had no intention of entering another game. And then I played the Unofficial First Entry Simulator* and thought why not write an adventure game.

    * Am I the only one who thinks that sounds a bit rude?
    I'll happily take it* if you're gonna dish it out.

    * The blame that is, nothing rude implied.
  • edited February 2013
    Kweepa wrote: »
    80 turns. Some nice writing there! But definitely a crap adventure!
    It took me 132 turns, but then I did resort to lots of swearing like "Comm***** 6*" and stuff.
    .

    Hmmm. I can say with some confidence that both these numbers can be beaten by a considerable margin!
  • R-Tape wrote: »
    Hmmm. I can say with some confidence that both these numbers can be beaten by a considerable margin!

    It can be completed in 12 turns but you'll probably get bored after 5!
  • edited February 2013
    Was musing as I was looking at the crap games I've yet to play that it'd be great to have them available to play straight off the site using something like jbacteria. I don't suppose that is a possibility? Or am I being hyper-ultra-mega lazy?
  • edited February 2013
    spud wrote: »
    Was musing as I was looking at the crap games I've yet to play that it'd be great to have them available to play straight off the site using something like jbacteria. I don't suppose that is a possibility? Or am I being hyper-ultra-mega lazy?

    I'll check it out (do you have any useful links/experience?) but I'm not up for giving myself too many 'jobs'. Probably a good idea though.
  • R-Tape wrote: »
    I'll check it out (do you have any useful links/experience?) but I'm not up for giving myself too many 'jobs'. Probably a good idea though.

    Careful. You might end up with the job of hosting the competition permanently! :p
  • edited February 2013
    Careful. You might end up with the job of hosting the competition permanently! :p

    Arghhh! Nurse! Where's the gin?!
  • edited February 2013
    Hokaayyyy, and another howler of a game. Well, emulator.

    crapper + tapper equals...

    eoescr.gif

    The Elevator Operator Emulator.
  • How uplifting! Despite all the floors!
  • edited February 2013
    Although I haven't played it yet, I can see a multi-game spin-off to EOE based on the Swedish proverb: "get drunk, f#$%, ride an elevator". Hmm.. or not.
  • edited February 2013
    Gawd, now I know I *have* to make my own game about elevators!
  • edited February 2013
    carlsson wrote: »
    Although I haven't played it yet, I can see a multi-game spin-off to EOE based on the Swedish proverb: "get drunk, f#$%, ride an elevator". Hmm.. or not.

    Don't forget to include a cow in there somewhere ;).
  • edited February 2013
    That is wrong on so many levels.
    Joefish
    - IONIAN-GAMES.com -
  • edited February 2013
    Another from Kweepa! There's a few more still to come from him, and someone else has actually submitted a bleeding type in too!

    ingame.gif

    Desert Island Risks

    Weird, it's actually.....playable?

    It's also inspired an end of year award: The Golden UDG award! The best (or worst or funniest or whatever) udg in a game will get an appropriate award/certificate. Get creating people!
  • Wow! Desert Island Risks is really good fun!
    Is that allowed? Somebody check the rule book!

    Hack Pack:

    Infy time

    150 let ihatetimelimits=101
    Edit: that makes the game crash at the end of the level so:
    150 let ti=150

    Yeah, yeah it's fun but i really hate time limits!
  • edited February 2013
    Wow! Desert Island Risks is really good fun!
    Is that allowed? Somebody check the rule book!

    Hack Pack:

    Infy time

    150 let ihatetimelimits=101
    Edit: that makes the game crash at the end of the level so:
    150 let ti=150

    Yeah, yeah it's fun but i really hate time limits!

    Agreed on the hack, I've added it to the site (credited naturally :D)

    Hi Score to beat is 28000ish (level 15), mind you as long as one man lands then you progress, so it's more a case of when you give up I think.

    Seeing things like this make me want to code my own crap game now!
  • edited February 2013
    It seems there might be a run-off for best BASIC game in this compo. Perhaps the hosting duties should be awarded to the most mediocre entry instead of best or worst.
    Joefish
    - IONIAN-GAMES.com -
  • edited February 2013
    joefish wrote: »
    It seems there might be a run-off for best BASIC game in this compo. Perhaps the hosting duties should be awarded to the most mediocre entry instead of best or worst.

    Oooh there's a thought. I might use that suggestion, depending how the comp goes.

    Having said that I still want to keep the immunity from being asked to host, as I'd rather grant that than lose a crap game.

    Will you be doing one for the CGC joefish? Cough ahem...Buzzsaw_BASIC....cough..ahem.
  • A multicolour BASIC game would be nice.
  • edited February 2013
    It might be rather slow. A tile-engine-based game could be driven from BASIC, but still might be painful.

    I really should hand over the Kayak game though.
    I have a better version based on the same control principles somewhere, but it needs more levels to be laid out for it.
    Joefish
    - IONIAN-GAMES.com -
  • edited February 2013
    I'll be submitting a game about flying naked women firing orbs of energy to whatever is the enemy.
  • edited February 2013
    joefish wrote: »
    I really should hand over the Kayak game though.

    Hope so! Whichever version.
    na_th_an wrote: »
    I'll be submitting a game about flying naked women firing orbs of energy to whatever is the enemy.

    I'll be hacking it for a poke that makes them wear cardigans :p
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