Age-Gap Relationships

Here's one for the WoS Problem Page. Actually it's not really a problem more of a query.

Disclaimer: this is not just a thread to show off about dating a younger lady. Honest ;)

What are people's views on relationships where the age gap between the couple is quite significant?

I'm 37 and have recently starting dating a 21 year old. Things are going fine but it's quite noticable that our points of reference are way different re. films, movies, books and just general experience of things. She hasn't even heard of the speccy. Mind you, my first speccy era had ended before she was born :-o Now, I realise that this can happen with couples of a similar age but with different backgrounds/interests etc but obviously age differences can make this more apparent.

When I was 21 I was dating a 35 year old and between times I've mainly been with ladies my own age so I've seen both sides to it.

Anybody reckon this type of thing can work out? I have my doubts to be honest, but it'll be fun finding out :)
Post edited by Maroc's Astral Projection on
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Comments

  • edited April 2013
    i give you the 'clive sinclair inspired' post of the year!! :D:D
  • mile wrote: »
    i give you the 'clive sinclair inspired' post of the year!! :D:D
    :lol: It's when she finds out I'm not as rich as Sir Clive that it all goes pear-shaped.
  • edited April 2013
    ...Anybody reckon this type of thing can work out?...

    Speaking from personal experience, YES! it can definitely work out.

    But much of it depends on some factor of both of you.

    Is she near your level of "maturity" (assuming you normally behave like a 37 year old ... and not like a 16 y.o.(unless both of you behave like 21, then No Worries Mate!))

    Do your conversations and activities together outweigh your cultural backgrounds? (I.e. you grew up at a certain time/place while she grew up at a different point of time/place, etc, etc)

    Anywho ... the long and short of it is this, of course it can either way you ninny!
  • ZnorXman wrote: »
    Do your conversations and activities together outweigh your cultural backgrounds? (I.e. you grew up at a certain time/place while she grew up at a different point of time/place, etc, etc)
    Yeah, I'd say so. Early days yet but there's common ground in terms of conversation, sense of humour etc which is really important.

    I did play her some Captain Beefheart recently and she said 'I hate it'. Mind you, plenty of other people of all ages have said the same thing :razz: With her taste in music I might finally find out what the appeal is with this rap, r&b thing.
  • fogfog
    edited April 2013
    when I was 29 I dated a 20 year old, we were just friends and well ended up as more. it didn't end so great and years later she came back and said she missed our "friendship" .. more likely felt guilty how bad it ended. When I saw her, it was good.. as she was a gamer, pretty and silly amount of brains. (what was she doing with me ? all my friends were well jealous, it was funny)

    there are only 2 women so far I would have married, her and my last long term girlfriend. (the last one did something to worry me, to mess things up.. to make me think it was a bad omen)

    both time I do think I was batting out of my league though.

    I had a g/f same age as me when I was 28.. she was horrid and found out she had "issues". I had a g/f 3 years older than me when I was 30.. she also was horrid *BUT* immature in her actions

    this was all pre-getting old / fat / bald obviously :D

    as long as you are happy,and you aren't hurting anyone.. sod what anyone else things. Maturity doesn't also go with age, there are silly old folk about.

    it'd be nice to meet someone , but some of the dates in the past few years I've been on.. there is an awful lot of gold diggers out there esp. living in london.
  • edited April 2013
    I did play her some Captain Beefheart recently and she said 'I hate it'.

    I played some Primus to a certain someone back in the day and she said "Wow! Hey I like that!" ... then we promptly got married and eventually divorced but I did get to keep my Primus collection but she got everything Mike Oldfield related ... she didn't want any of my retro stuff. A later wife got all that when we split up (minus the Speccy stuff, she had some sympathy for me in that regard.) And I still have my Primus stuff.
  • To quote Harold Steptoe -"You dirty old man!"
  • fog wrote: »
    as long as you are happy,and you aren't hurting anyone.. sod what anyone else things. Maturity doesn't also go with age, there are silly old folk about.
    Yeah, good advice :)

    We've had the conversation where we've both kinda questioned why we're with each other:

    her:because she thinks my life is sorted and she considers me some kind of intellectual that she can't compete with (that's hogwash of course)
    me: because I wonder why this beautiful, young girl (who could probably choose anyone she wanted) is with me.

    I think the insecurities on both sides can come out a bit more in this situation but, as you say, it can occur in any relationship.

    Best not to overthink things sometimes and just enjoy it for what it is.
  • edited April 2013
    Have her call you "daddy" when you are out and about.
  • edited April 2013
    ^^^ I believe a certain acronym is in order here:

    L.O.L.
  • edited April 2013
    I'm 37 and have recently starting dating a 21 year old.
    you're old enough to be her father. well, older brother... either way it's incest!

    [/partridge]
  • To quote Harold Steptoe -"You dirty old man!"
    I was waiting for that one :razz:
    beanz wrote: »
    Have her call you "daddy" when you are out and about.
    Her step-dad is 4 years older than me :-o

    I do sometimes have to stop myself from being like that though. She has said 'yeah, ok dad' a few times. Mind you, that was when I asked her if she was eating properly after she was ill so I only had myself to blame :-P
  • def chris wrote: »
    you're old enough to be her father. well, older brother... either way it's incest!

    [/partridge]
    :lol:

    The good news is she loves Partridge so i think she's a keeper.
  • :lol:

    The good news is she loves Partridge so i think she's a keeper.

    Back of the net!
  • edited April 2013
    I do sometimes have to stop myself from being like that though. She has said 'yeah, ok dad' a few times. Mind you, that was when I asked her if she was eating properly after she was ill so I only had myself to blame :-P


    My g/f is 14yrs younger than me...when I was buying a new phone at the AT&T store the guy serving me said

    "Does your daughter need a new phone too"?

    I said "She's not my daughter"

    he said "Alriggggght!"

    :lol:
  • edited April 2013
    can work but I found dating younger girls "seriously" difficult as it was hard to see em as anything other than a bit of fluff
  • edited April 2013
    one of the big problems is gonna be her mates, she'll wanna go out to do 'random' things with them and you'll not be able to conect with them as easily as you do with her. so you might end up holding their coats while they push each other around in wheelie bins.
  • edited April 2013
    Wookiee wrote: »
    can work but I found dating younger girls "seriously" difficult as it was hard to see em as anything other than a bit of fluff

    Theres a garry glitter joke there, but i'll leave it to mile :-P
  • edited April 2013
    It can work. Obviously there can be issues at times, but none of them are necessarily insurmountable. And the older people get, the less important the age difference becomes.
  • edited April 2013
    To find your acceptable lower age dating limit, I've heard you're supposed to divide your age by 2, then add 7.

    But what the hell, whatever works for you, go with it.. :smile:
  • edited April 2013
    I'm 37 and have recently starting dating a 21 year old.

    You lucky, lucky bar steward :grin:
  • edited April 2013
    If anyone asks, just point out that the only real difference between a healthy young man and a dirty old man is age. :smile:
  • edited April 2013
    A few years ago I was dating someone who had only just turned 20 (I was 32). It was her who made all the advance on me as I thought she was too young. I thought it was all abit strange at the time and kept saying to myself "what would her Mum think?"

    We did have alot in common as she was a keen gamer (RPG's were her thing) but in the end, the age gap just didn't work and she waltz'd off with someone her own age who cheated on her after 2 months.

    She wondered why I wouldn't take her back...
  • edited April 2013
    I'm 37 and have recently starting dating a 21 year old.

    I'm invoking Rule #1: -

    - Pictures, or it's not real!

    :D
  • edited April 2013
    ...She wondered why I wouldn't take her back...

    WHY?!?!?!?!?!?

    WELL.......?!?!?!?!?!?
  • edited April 2013
    ZnorXman wrote: »
    WHY?!?!?!?!?!?

    WELL.......?!?!?!?!?!?

    Because she ran off with someone else while we were together and in my experience, if it's happened once then it'll happen again. I got hurt and I wasn't going to let her hurt me again. Even if she was fit ;-)
  • edited April 2013
    STeaM wrote: »
    I'm invoking Rule #1: -

    - Pictures, or it's not real!

    :D

    Here, the age difference is very obvious:

    QT0Q7Lj.png
  • edited April 2013
    I also say it can work. There's certainly only one way to find out. Just enjoy the ride and see where it takes you both. :smile:
  • edited April 2013
    STeaM wrote: »
    I'm invoking Rule #1: -

    - Pictures, or it's not real!

    :D

    Here you go:

    http://live.drjays.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/annahoward.jpg

    :smile:
  • fogfog
    edited April 2013
    when someone mentioned about their step dad..

    it reminded me of someone who is a dirty old man (someone my brother in laws knows) , I nicknamed him qagmire .. the woman in question he dated. her dad is only 4 years older than the bloke.. think the age gap was 20+ years.. dunno, I do remember the bloke perving an ex of mine at a funeral of all places, others did too and I had to have a word about it.

    womens ages and maturity aren't always.. get older / more mature.. only can say that for cheese I guess :D
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