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Useless Products and Sales Pitches.

Scottie_ukScottie_uk
in Chit chat

Fire retardant safety matches.

Ragu branded saucy underwear.

Showerkraut - Cabbage and Carrot Scented Shower Gel.
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Comments

  • dm_boozefreekdm_boozefreek
    Crust - Garlic flavoured toothpaste.
    Every night is curry night!
  • Your Spec-chumYour Spec-chum
    Some Arthur Daily from Minder classics.

    Smoke damaged smoke alarms.
    Solar powered torches.
    Water damaged deep sea divers watches.
    Chippendale record players.
  • ZupZup
    Maybe anybody should try to sell some "Reginald Perry" products on Amazon...
    I was there, too
    An' you know what they said?
    Well, some of it was true!
  • LunyLuny
    Dehydrated water, anyone?
    Sod it!

    @luny@mstdn.games
    https://www.luny.co.uk
  • TimmyTimmy
    Toothpaste without flouride in it (like those charcoal ones).
    How to write a simple BASIC* horizontal scrolling game (Tutorial) - How to write a simple C+asm horizontal scrolling game (Tutorial, z88dk)
    Games List 2016 - Games List 2015 - Games List 2014
  • dmsmithdmsmith
    Be like a BBC Micro - Expand your Spectrum to 32K with a 16K Ram pack :-p
  • Scottie_ukScottie_uk
    Your Spec-chum wrote: »
    Some Arthur Daily from Minder classics.

    Solar powered torches.

    I've always seen the practicality of that idea. Just so long as a the solar charges an internal battery it would make sense, especially now with LED.

    Calling all ASCII Art Architects Visit the WOS Wall of Text and contribute: https://www.yourworldoftext.com/wos
  • zx1zx1
    Del Boy sold a ton of useless items.
    The trouble with tribbles is.......
  • Your Spec-chumYour Spec-chum
    edited April 2022
    Scottie_uk wrote: »
    Your Spec-chum wrote: »
    Some Arthur Daily from Minder classics.

    Solar powered torches.

    I've always seen the practicality of that idea. Just so long as a the solar charges an internal battery it would make sense, especially now with LED.

    Wasn't such a torch invented for people to use in third world countries where access to batteries or mains power were not available. I think the inventor won awards for it. I have an led torch nocking about somewhere in my shed which I've owned for sometime. It has a cranking handle that you turn for a minute or so and it charges an internal battery. Its also an emergency phone charger and came with adaptor leads for old Nokia, Motorola, etc phones. That tells you how old it is. Anyhow since the day I first used it I cranked the hell out of the winder, and don't think I have ever had to crank it again since. Seems to have eternal power.

    Think it's this fellow the late Trevor Baylis the inventor.

    https://radiofidelity.com/trevor-baylis-story/

    Post edited by Your Spec-chum on
  • ÆlitaÆlita
    Sinclair C5...nah

    Diet water, Fitness water, Skinny water
    I stole it off a space ship.
  • LunyLuny
    Gwenyth Paltrow's vaggie candles.
    Sod it!

    @luny@mstdn.games
    https://www.luny.co.uk
  • zx1zx1
    Vaggie candles? That sounds dodgy! Do you stick them in your erm, you know! :))
    The trouble with tribbles is.......
  • The Mighty DopethroneThe Mighty Dopethrone
    Luny wrote: »
    Gwenyth Paltrow's vaggie candles.
    Some years ago - 20 or so of them - there was this mad bloke Oop North who made "one-man band" projects and put them on the late, lamented mp3.com. Trollmann Av Ildtoppberg was the main one, there was also Ungl'Unl'Rrlh'Chchch which was Lovecraft-themed (it probably means more to fans of HPL than it does to me), and then... there was The Woggledogs. This was strictly a one-off where Trollmann and a couple of his mates smoked the entire Jamaican weed harvest, and recorded... something. I have never been sure what it was supposed to be, only that about three minutes in, one of them starts blowing on a recorder. Just one random note, and it was clearly one of the cheap ones given to kids in primary school to really put them off music for life. The result was, as you'd expect, a mess. And what did The Woggledogs call their "hit single"? Deirde Barlow's Amateur Wrestling.

    Congratulations on inadverently coming up with the title of its long-not-awaited sequel.
  • LunyLuny
    zx1 wrote: »
    Vaggie candles? That sounds dodgy! Do you stick them in your erm, you know! :))

    She sold candles that were supposably smelt of her, well you know, (Whispers theatrically) front bottom. She's a complete nutter.
    Sod it!

    @luny@mstdn.games
    https://www.luny.co.uk
  • dmsmithdmsmith
    edited April 2022
    Luny wrote: »
    Dehydrated water, anyone?

    Steam in a can - for all your condensation needs!
    Post edited by dmsmith on
  • zx1zx1
    Luny wrote: »
    zx1 wrote: »
    Vaggie candles? That sounds dodgy! Do you stick them in your erm, you know! :))

    She sold candles that were supposably smelt of her, well you know, (Whispers theatrically) front bottom. She's a complete nutter.

    That's revolting.
    The trouble with tribbles is.......
  • dmsmithdmsmith
    edited April 2022
    -
    Post edited by dmsmith on
  • dmsmithdmsmith
    edited April 2022
    Scottie_uk wrote: »
    Your Spec-chum wrote: »
    Some Arthur Daily from Minder classics.

    Solar powered torches.

    I've always seen the practicality of that idea. Just so long as a the solar charges an internal battery it would make sense, especially now with LED.

    Wind up torches probably make more sense. Solar only seems to work well, when the solar receptor cells are fairly large.

    Post edited by dmsmith on
  • Scottie_ukScottie_uk
    Wind powered fan.
    Calling all ASCII Art Architects Visit the WOS Wall of Text and contribute: https://www.yourworldoftext.com/wos
  • Antiriad2097Antiriad2097
    Scottie_uk wrote: »
    Wind powered fan.

    I don't think I want to know where you plug that in.
  • saddestmoonsaddestmoon
    NFTs

    Nuff said…
  • Scottie_ukScottie_uk
    Butt plugs, turn f
    Antiriad2097 wrote: »
    Scottie_uk wrote: »
    Wind powered fan.

    I don't think I want to know where you plug that in.

    Butt Plugs, turn farts into energy.
    Calling all ASCII Art Architects Visit the WOS Wall of Text and contribute: https://www.yourworldoftext.com/wos
  • ÆlitaÆlita
    Banana Box

    164dd0a70994e813bca9e1763fe8a7d7
    I stole it off a space ship.
  • Scottie_ukScottie_uk
    We have a couple of those and they are good. No more bruised bananas from the journey to work.
    Calling all ASCII Art Architects Visit the WOS Wall of Text and contribute: https://www.yourworldoftext.com/wos
  • ÆlitaÆlita
    Oh really. Was in some high end store today and we were laughing..really? What about Peach boxes...they bruise soon as you look at them.
    I stole it off a space ship.
  • zx1zx1
    The most pointless and useless invention ever

    mnGkajl.jpg
    The trouble with tribbles is.......
  • LunyLuny
    Carrots! UGH!
    Sod it!

    @luny@mstdn.games
    https://www.luny.co.uk
  • Scottie_ukScottie_uk
    Man china - Extra tough crockery made for a men to handle.

    Manc-kini - Swimwear for the Manchester crowd.

    Wonder-pants!! Like the Wonder Bra, except it makes your cock protrude more so every can see how big it 'might' be.
    Calling all ASCII Art Architects Visit the WOS Wall of Text and contribute: https://www.yourworldoftext.com/wos
  • zx1zx1
    Makes your cock nice and firm and perky! :))
    The trouble with tribbles is.......
  • dm_boozefreekdm_boozefreek
    Given the posts in the Batman thread, maybe the Wonderpants could be modelled on Burt Ward's pre-injection Robin costume? Wonderpants inspired by the Boy Wonders own protruding pantage! :))
    Every night is curry night!
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