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Children of the damned

misguided_foolmisguided_fool
edited August 2006 in Chit chat
A work colleague just rang up to say that he's not coming into work this afternoon. He has taken the morning off to go with his pregnant girlfriend to have their first scan. It's his first kid, which was unexpected - and he's really been shitting himself about becoming a father..

Turns out he needs the afternoon off because he is in shock as the scan has revealed that his girlfriend is expecting triplets. He's in a right state. Poor bastard.

Anyway, I thought I'd help out with choosing some baby names.

My choice: Snap, Crackle & Pop

Anyone have any ideas ?
Post edited by misguided_fool on

Comments

  • milemile
    edited August 2006
    ip, dip, dog shit.


    i suppose it like getting a double yoked egg, but with more finacial responsabilities.
  • Lee FogartyLee Fogarty
    edited August 2006
    I had 4 out of six eggs with double yolks last week. I was well happy.
    My test signature
  • milemile
    edited August 2006
    fogartylee wrote:
    I had 4 out of six eggs with double yolks last week. I was well happy.

    if they started crying all over the shop and demanding expensive nappies, it would have been a different story.
  • misguided_foolmisguided_fool
    edited August 2006
    Being the irresponsible mong that I am, I'd shit myself if my girlfriend was pregnant. If she said she was expecting three, I would seriously do a runner. I can't look after myself properly. It's one of my worst fears. That and being bum raped by an NBA basketball team.
  • milemile
    edited August 2006
    misguided_fool wrote:
    Being the irresponsible mong that I am, I'd shit myself if my girlfriend was pregnant. If she said she was expecting three, I would seriously do a runner. I can't look after myself properly. It's one of my worst fears. That and being bum raped by an NBA basketball team.

    three isn't that bad, id prefer that to just the one. i'd always be getting scarred of leaving it too close to the fire, or near some dogs. but with three you can afford to make mistakes and still have some back up babies.
  • misguided_foolmisguided_fool
    edited August 2006
    I'd stick 2 of em on Ebay
  • milemile
    edited August 2006
    if you stick it in the garden, eventually the social will nip round and take it away. just like in the sim's.
  • rich_chandlerrich_chandler
    edited August 2006
    I'd REALLY shit myself if the girlfriend was pregnant. The wife would KILL me...
    I wanna tell you a story 'bout a woman I know...
  • misguided_foolmisguided_fool
    edited August 2006
    Thinking about it - you're probably better off having tons of kids. I keep reading these stories in magazines about people having free 8 bedroom houses, and benefits of up to ?40k a year. You are worse off if you work.

    I think I'm gonna do that. First I need some fake gold, a shell suit, some lovebites and a criminal record..

    I wonder which WOS person has the most kids.
  • milemile
    edited August 2006
    misguided_fool wrote:
    Thinking about it - you're probably better off having tons of kids. I keep reading these stories in magazines about people having free 8 bedroom houses, and benefits of up to ?40k a year. You are worse off if you work.

    I think I'm gonna do that. First I need some fake gold, a shell suit, some lovebites and a criminal record..

    I wonder which WOS person has the most kids.

    steal the fake gold and shell suit, that'l see you up in prison, and you will come out with lovebites and a criminal record. jobs a good 'un

    or if you want some real benefits, with out the hassle of baby poo, i will pop around and cripple you.

    i have no kids, or none that i know of. (ha ha, totally original joke that)
  • misguided_foolmisguided_fool
    edited August 2006
    I hope I'm incapable of having kids. If the time comes when my girlfriend wants some, I will get pissed up and cut my testicles off. Just like that bloke in the news a few months ago.

    Maybe it will take away my urges for pornography and I can start using my pc for something constructive.

    Just in case you missed the story:

    http://xo.typepad.com/blog/2005/02/welsh_rugby_fan.html
  • milemile
    edited August 2006
    you know you could just sit down with her and discuss with her that you'd rather not have kids, cutting your balls off might be considered a bit drastic.

    its like being told the inlaws are coming round for dinner, and to get out of it, driving your car though through the front of your house, then setting fire to the lot.
  • misguided_foolmisguided_fool
    edited August 2006
    You're right. It's the Welsh mentality. We tend to go to drastic lengths to avoid boring discussions. I remember a lad I used to work with was so pissed off about having to go to work on Monday morning, thats he broke his own arm.

    It wasn't me.

    I stepped out in front of a bus.
  • milemile
    edited August 2006
    i tend to ring up and pretend to be ill.
  • Lee FogartyLee Fogarty
    edited August 2006
    I tried that last week. Unfortunately, I forgot I am self employed and knew I was lying. I was promptly sacked.
    My test signature
  • milemile
    edited August 2006
    fogartylee wrote:
    I tried that last week. Unfortunately, I forgot I am self employed and knew I was lying. I was promptly sacked.

    cant you take yourself to an industrial tribunal?

    ...and don't forget that sexual harrasment stuff.
  • misguided_foolmisguided_fool
    edited August 2006
    I'd find out where your boss lives and give him a good kicking. I heard he's a right bastard...
  • milemile
    edited August 2006
    i think i would have starved to death by now if i was self-employed.
  • Lee FogartyLee Fogarty
    edited August 2006
    mile wrote:
    i think i would have starved to death by now if i was self-employed.

    I have twice. You get used to it after a while.
    My test signature
  • BruceNortonBruceNorton
    edited August 2006
    heres a couple of suggestions

    Tom dick and harry

    Mary mungo and midge

    Mong bong and spong

    Try cheering this chap up by letting him know he can claim extra tax credits etc.

    Poor man!
  • misguided_foolmisguided_fool
    edited August 2006
    The lad has returned to work today. He's a broken man...

    He said that when he was told the news he went light headed and needed to lie down. He ended up having a bit of an attack, and they had to stretcher him into a cubicle to check his blood pressure etc. He's ok now, but he's still in a bit of a daze. He's got a lot of stuff to sort out..

    I told him the suggested baby names. He wasn't amused...

    He also said that when he walked through the factory this morning, he walked past one of the large guillotines and considered sticking his old boy in there and lobbing it off to prevent future baby creation.

    Poor lad. Anyway... What the hell am I gonna have for lunch...
  • milemile
    edited August 2006
    it can't be that bad. i mean he doesnt have to give birth to three children. think of the poor girl.

    for a start she doesn't have adequate boobage.
  • milemile
    edited August 2006
    some more names.....


    Jamie, William, Wank-face

    Liam, Freddy, fudgepacker

    Harriett, Sophie, Flange

    Lucy, Heather, Massive-whore

    It would be interesting to see how the unfortunatly named child copes in life compared to the others.
  • misguided_foolmisguided_fool
    edited August 2006
    He could name them after his favourite music..

    Led Zepplin I, Led Zepplin II & Led Zepplin III

    Of course he'd need to have another kid, cos IV is essential to everyones collection.
  • ewgfewgf
    edited August 2006
    Or he could call them 16K, 48K and 128K.

    None of that +2, +3 Amstrad nonsense, of course. That would only embarrase the poor kids.
  • BruceNortonBruceNorton
    edited August 2006
    Call them Hey , Hey, 16K and when they are older say there is song written just for them.
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