Best hangover cure ever....
instead of drinking a few pints of water before you go to bed.....try this
when you are at your most inhebriated state, get out your mobile and start texting your female freind that you have a crush on (a work collegue is even better). start out with general questions about her health, then as your grammer and spelling start to slip tell her how you feel. hopefully she will tell you that she doesn't feel the same way. thats when you can start to send the abuse. after a few nasty text's, take back what you said, and tell her you love her. again she will reinforce her 'not interested' feelings. That's the perfect time to tell her you are going to kill yourself/ had a girlfreind anyway/ going to join the foreign legion.
the wave of shame and embaressment that will hit you in the morning will make your headache not seem bad at all.
when you are at your most inhebriated state, get out your mobile and start texting your female freind that you have a crush on (a work collegue is even better). start out with general questions about her health, then as your grammer and spelling start to slip tell her how you feel. hopefully she will tell you that she doesn't feel the same way. thats when you can start to send the abuse. after a few nasty text's, take back what you said, and tell her you love her. again she will reinforce her 'not interested' feelings. That's the perfect time to tell her you are going to kill yourself/ had a girlfreind anyway/ going to join the foreign legion.
the wave of shame and embaressment that will hit you in the morning will make your headache not seem bad at all.
Post edited by mile on
Comments
Every month I have a big clean out of numbers on my phone.
My one mate rings up all his bosses / managers etc and leaves messages calling them all sorts. God knows how hes still employed. The other thing he does is write disgusting emails to his bank / mobile phone company / landlord etc - All while hes pissed.
I think hes had a few warnings from the police about it.
Aint booze great.
My mate once got pissed up and came home late. His girlfriend was home and took a bath. While she was in the bath he got a bit filthy with a bird via text messaging. The girl he was texting asked where his girlfriend was, and he replied something like:
'My girlfriend is in the bath. I wish I could go in and throw a toaster in there and electrocute her. Shes a fucking bitch etc etc'
Yes... You guessed it. He sent it to his girlfriend by mistake, and heard the beep of the message arriving at the other side of the bathroom door.
He said he had to kick the door in and grab the phone. Delete the message and make up some excuse about some surprise he had planned etc and didnt want her to see it.
She was quite worried about his behaviour.
So - at least whenever I think about my embarassing texting, theres always my mate to consider. Hes a lunatic. There are worse people out there under the influence..
although i must say an ex did that to me once. she sent me a text suggesting a three-sum with her and her hot slutty mate, after my initial excitment i realised the text was for another man. the word 'dissapointment' doesn't come close to what i felt. :(
stick a stingray up yer tshirt and get somebody to repeatedly punch you in the chest
I know that tomorrow will be hell... As far as a hangover cure goes, Im gonna opt for the 'hide under the duvet until 4pm and hope everything works out ok'
See you in the job centre...
Misguided.