After I plugged the speakers into the card, I presented him with a ?30 bill (this was 10 years+ ago). He complained because I was charging so much for a simple fix!
Today, I have 3 times uploaded the header for a website only for the client to complain that one of the links is wrong - everytime it was reverting back to the previous version.
3 times I told him to stop uploading his own version as it was the wrong one!
3 times I will bill him :)
ha ha. id love to win the lottery and piss around an IT guy.
'my computer is warm, can you come and have a look at it.'
'i put my laptop in the dishwasher, it doesn't seem to work now.'
At the old place I worked at, one night we were all going out and were meeting up in the closest pub. In that pub the resident DJ was the fattest, ugliest woman you ever did see and she was particularly well-endowed. As this pub was more or less my local I knew exactly what this woman did if it was a bloke's birthday.
So while I was at the bar I told the barman that it was my bosses 40th, so he goes along and tells her. Thirty seconds later she comes over, pulls her tits out and buries my bosses face between them!! She then bounces them off the sides of his head for the next few seconds. And believe me, she didn't smell too sweet from afar so what it was like up close only he could tell ya!
His face was thunder when he finally emerged and he knew I had set it up, but the good thing about working for the Public Sector is you don't get sacked unless you nick something or beat up somebody!!
My pet hate is to close something, eg a browser i just click X in the corner, the wife last night constantly was doing - Click on File, click on Exit, i know its very pathetic but that does do my head in ! Just click on X !!!
As you can tell i'm not very patient with computer noobs !
I'm still old-fashioned when it comes to closing windows ... I still go to the left hand corner and double-click to exit out of programs ... there is an odd program now and again where they do not "support" that feature ... but it's only been less than a handful of programs since XP came out (where it hasn't worked for me to go to the left-hand corner).
It drives my best friend up the wall when I do and he sees me "Just press the X! That's what it's there for!" her says ... sure ... but I only use the right hand side for minimising really.
Oh, well ... live waddles on like a Tauntaun duck.
... although our fish'n'chip shop offers an IT service, so i take mine in there and get my tea at the same time :) *that isnt a joke*
"Hi there. I brought my PC in yesterday - was wondering if you'd had chance to take a look at it?"
"Oh, yeah... I'm afraid the motherboard's completely fried."
"Dammit! I knew I shouldn't have installed that cheap Taiwanese power supply."
"No, I mean actually fried. We had a little accident, sorry."
"Hi there. I brought my PC in yesterday - was wondering if you'd had chance to take a look at it?"
"Oh, yeah... I'm afraid the motherboard's completely fried."
"Dammit! I knew I shouldn't have installed that cheap Taiwanese power supply."
"No, I mean actually fried. We had a little accident, sorry."
ha ha.
i never use the x to shut programmes. i cant see it due to my privacy filter screen thing. i tend to just right click on my icon bar and close that way.
Years ago me and a friend, Alan, were kicking a football to each other on the road outside my house while another friend, Lenny, sat on one of those green cable boxes (about a metre high, metre wide, foot deep). Now Alan wasn't a gifted footballer and Lenny was mocking him for the way he kicked the ball and had a bet with Alan that he couldn't hit him with the ball. Alan just laughed it off, but after a few minutes I passed the ball to him with a bit of height, he decided to volley the ball as hard as he could towards Lenny smacking him straight in the forehead and knocking him backwards off the cable box, just leaving 2 feet visible stuck up in the air!
It was hilarious and I laughed about it for days afterwards. We still laugh about it when we all meet up these days, which unfortunatly isn't too often. :D
Years ago me and a friend, Alan, were kicking a football to each other on the road outside my house while another friend, Lenny, sat on one of those green cable boxes (about a metre high, metre wide, foot deep). Now Alan wasn't a gifted footballer and Lenny was mocking him for the way he kicked the ball and had a bet with Alan that he couldn't hit him with the ball. Alan just laughed it off, but after a few minutes I passed the ball to him with a bit of height, he decided to volley the ball as hard as he could towards Lenny smacking him straight in the forehead and knocking him backwards off the cable box, just leaving 2 feet visible stuck up in the air!
It was hilarious and I laughed about it for days afterwards. We still laugh about it when we all meet up these days, which unfortunatly isn't too often. :D
Ah, the good old "smacking your mate in the head with something". I've got a similar one from when I was a YTS apprentice.
It had been snowing one night and at lunch the next day we were larking around. I'm pretty good at throwing things and my mates were all cowering away apart from this one guy about 25 yards away who wouldn;t get involved in such immature goings-on.
Well, this one snowball I'd been compacting for about 2 or 3 mins and it was rock hard, I was going to launch it a a mate 20 feet away but though "sod it", spun on a six pence and hurled it without really looking at the really mature guy. It went SMACK!!!!, right in the middle of his forehead (I couldn;t have got that shot more accurate 999 times out of a 1000) and he went straight over the back of the bench he was sitting on the top of. Laurel and Hardy couldn't have choreogeraphed it better!
We pissed ourselves laughing for the rest of the day, but laughed even harder the day after when the unfortunate came in to work and had a huge circular bruise right in the middle of his forehead!!
About 10 years later I saw one of the guys (who I hadn't seen for 7/8 years)and we burst out laughing in the middle of the pub uncontrollably for about 5 mins. As soon as we saw one another, THAT memory sprang straight to our minds.
Comments
ha ha. id love to win the lottery and piss around an IT guy.
'my computer is warm, can you come and have a look at it.'
'i put my laptop in the dishwasher, it doesn't seem to work now.'
cheaper to get a prostitue.
... although our fish'n'chip shop offers an IT service, so i take mine in there and get my tea at the same time :) *that isnt a joke*
"D'you want salt on that?"
/me refrains from making any "fish" comments.
So if you were to ask for Source on your chips you might be in for a bit of a shock.....litterally!
Personally I would not let a chip shop get their GREASY fingers on the insides of my computer.
I would not want the smell of Kippers eminating from the air vents in my PC.
Andrew
kippers!!!
what kind of high class fish resturant do you go in? :)
So while I was at the bar I told the barman that it was my bosses 40th, so he goes along and tells her. Thirty seconds later she comes over, pulls her tits out and buries my bosses face between them!! She then bounces them off the sides of his head for the next few seconds. And believe me, she didn't smell too sweet from afar so what it was like up close only he could tell ya!
His face was thunder when he finally emerged and he knew I had set it up, but the good thing about working for the Public Sector is you don't get sacked unless you nick something or beat up somebody!!
I didn't buy many drinks that night!!!
I'm still old-fashioned when it comes to closing windows ... I still go to the left hand corner and double-click to exit out of programs ... there is an odd program now and again where they do not "support" that feature ... but it's only been less than a handful of programs since XP came out (where it hasn't worked for me to go to the left-hand corner).
It drives my best friend up the wall when I do and he sees me "Just press the X! That's what it's there for!" her says ... sure ... but I only use the right hand side for minimising really.
Oh, well ... live waddles on like a Tauntaun duck.
Skarpo
:-)
"Hi there. I brought my PC in yesterday - was wondering if you'd had chance to take a look at it?"
"Oh, yeah... I'm afraid the motherboard's completely fried."
"Dammit! I knew I shouldn't have installed that cheap Taiwanese power supply."
"No, I mean actually fried. We had a little accident, sorry."
ha ha.
i never use the x to shut programmes. i cant see it due to my privacy filter screen thing. i tend to just right click on my icon bar and close that way.
It was hilarious and I laughed about it for days afterwards. We still laugh about it when we all meet up these days, which unfortunatly isn't too often. :D
they dont microwave them. :)
Ah, the good old "smacking your mate in the head with something". I've got a similar one from when I was a YTS apprentice.
It had been snowing one night and at lunch the next day we were larking around. I'm pretty good at throwing things and my mates were all cowering away apart from this one guy about 25 yards away who wouldn;t get involved in such immature goings-on.
Well, this one snowball I'd been compacting for about 2 or 3 mins and it was rock hard, I was going to launch it a a mate 20 feet away but though "sod it", spun on a six pence and hurled it without really looking at the really mature guy. It went SMACK!!!!, right in the middle of his forehead (I couldn;t have got that shot more accurate 999 times out of a 1000) and he went straight over the back of the bench he was sitting on the top of. Laurel and Hardy couldn't have choreogeraphed it better!
We pissed ourselves laughing for the rest of the day, but laughed even harder the day after when the unfortunate came in to work and had a huge circular bruise right in the middle of his forehead!!
About 10 years later I saw one of the guys (who I hadn't seen for 7/8 years)and we burst out laughing in the middle of the pub uncontrollably for about 5 mins. As soon as we saw one another, THAT memory sprang straight to our minds.
The guy who got smacked, now works for Rare!!