I can do it in my own house (unless the missus has some mates around). It used to be very embarrassing when I had a small ground floor flat in Cardiff city centre. You could guarantee every time I'd pop into the toilet, my girlfriends mates would turn up and be dying for a pee. The was no escaping the horror. I'd have to get out of the toilet and go hide in the bedroom until they went home. For fear of knowing they had just inhaled my poo particles.
interesting, a few girls have complained that there isn't a lock on on my bathroom door, i wonder if they have the same probs. and you have to keep it open at night time as there isn't a working light in there, so you get the light from the landing. not many of them were happy about that either.
Same here, i'm glad we think the same. For years my best mate thought i was odd as he knew about my 'strange behaviour' with number 2's but i know i'm not alone !
Bless! Anti-poo-lurve found right here on WOS.:smile:
if you came and stayed at my house would you be able to have a crap while i was there?
and if i came to yours would you have to hold it too?
must be a problem
I have no qualms about having a crap in your loo, so long as you're not standing by watching. Be warned though, I do VERY BIG turds, and I may need to boil a few kettles and pour some bleach down to shift it. When d'ya want me round?
Blimey, hit WoS and there`s a 4 page thread about shite`ing :lol:
I thought it was just me and shitbrick suffered from this, I won`t even crap in my own house, if I`ve got mates in, whilst one mate in particular loves to (in his own words) "Ganna gan and punish ya` toilet" or "Tek the enamel off ya` toilet" etc etc :o
Imodium is always handy before a holiday or stay anywhere !
I do have one odd behaviour though, if I have to take a dump at work.
I have to wait for everyone else to leave the bathroom until I leave the stall. I can't have it be known that the person who just did the dump that sounded like a depth charge hitting the ocean, followed up with a fart that hit the precise resonant frequency of the bathroom itself (and thus was amplified to ear-bleedingly loud levels, as well as the violence of its exit causing the butt cheeks to open and close with such violence that it hurts, and causing one person to remark "Dear god!") was me.
If you have to go, then you have to go. Just remember to check that the toilet your about to use has some bog paper in it and an air freshner if your worried about the smell.
And remember it's the quality of the dump that counts, listen as that first plop hits the bowl and ask Does it sound like the door of Mercedes closing or does it sound like when the bottle of squirty cream runs out.
Just enjoy the experience and if you are that bothered then use the little brush beside the toilet and clean up after yourself.
Apparently many women in Japan are so self-conscious about their 'bathroom noises' that they continuously flush the toilet while using it, to mask the sound. The resulting waste of water has prompted the introduction of a device known as the "Sound Princess" in public toilets, which emulates the sound of rushing water.
Tell you a story about someone who shit themselves at work! A fat bloke who used to work where I did back home, was stealing people sandwiches out of their bait boxes at work. There was a little fridge in the canteen that you could keep your scran in until you had a break to eat it. Now I got told to keep my mouth shut about this cos' to this day he thinks he got a bad stomach bug. But I know the true story, and due to the dangerous nature of it nobody I worked with would tell me who did it to him. Anyway somebody knew it was him who was stealing peoples bait (I mean this bloke is disgusting he just never stops eating, bacon sandwich in one hand and a half a chocolate cake in the other), so they decided to teach him a lesson. Whoever did it and the lads who knew about it agreed to catch him out, so one of them left an open bait box out with half a sarnie still in it...........The sandwich had 3 drops of Mercury in it, the guy was a van driver for the company at the time and shit himself while he was doing his rounds all over his pants, his hands, and all over the inside of the van. However he never took another sandwich from the canteen again.
As for me in the 11 years that kids spend in school, I took a shit 3 times and I felt dirty every time. Especially since some scruffy twat had actually written on the cubicle wall using his own feculance as ink shall we say.
Also I used to take shits at work and purposely stay in the bog after I'd finished. Used to play this shoot em' up on my mobile phone. The name escapes me but you got the choice of 3 ships to choose from good fun it was, and the amount of skiving I did at work I actually got quite good at the game in question.
I used to have a room-mate/co-renter who would go to the loo even during conversations ... i.e. we would be talking and all of a sudden he'd stand up, go to the bathroom, keep the door open AND he'd yell "Oh, go on, I can still hear you!"
And he'd ALWAYS keep the door open ... and he'd always sit*, no matter what his business was in there.**
Oh, yeah ... and I did at one time have an office manager who would hunt us down, even into the bathroom, if he needed to get a hold of us ... very weird s(h)itting there, minding your own ... and then I'd hear: "Skarpo, you in there? Come see me when you're done" ... Annoying like heck ... especially considering we all had walkie-talkies and it never was anything that couldn't wait.
Skarpo :-)
*He wasn't a big fella, it's just the way he was used to doing things.
**... and yes ... I did more often than not hear exactly what it was he was doing in there.
And he'd ALWAYS keep the door open ... and he'd always sit*, no matter what his business was in there.**
ive heard of blokes doing that, and not even nonce's. they sit on the toilet for all the stuff they are about to do. i mean i will do it, if i have company and im wearing some trackies without a fly. cos i dont want piss stains down me.
anyhoo there is a scientific reason for these conditions, that i will post if i can find it written down proper.
2 years ago, my last day of a holiday in Spain i'm out in the sea, great big waves, swallow a fair bit of water, felt okay
Of course later on that night when i get on the flight suddenly i feel my stomachs about to explode. Oh my god. My worst nightmare. I'm on a flight (luckily sat at the front) and my stomatchs gonna explode. When we take off and the light goes off that we can move about i instantly go to the loo, what happens, the second i go there the air stewardess puts a note on it to say its not working, i kid you not. So theres one toilet on the plane, all the way down the other end, no way on earth i can go to this loo, have this explosion happen (sorry !) and everyone hears and everyones queuing outside to use the one loo
I'm sweating like a pig, air stewardess gives me some pills as i'm going white. I dont even do anything when we land, my dad picks us up, go back to their house and i must admit then i 'go upstairs for a while'.
Anyway had poisoning from the water, lost about half a stone and had to go to the doctors as i couldnt keep anything down, food/water instanly went through me.
But that flight on the plane was terrible, i sooo wished i was at home !
one the last day of a holiday in spain my mate goes for a shit, blocks the toilet. so i had to lay my poo on top of his. it looked pretty funny, his very dark brown log mixed in with my yellowing runny crap. i'll post the pic if i can find it. the cleaner must have been sick cos it fuking stunk in there, i was gipping as we left.
must say though being ill on a plane is a bat situation, all you want is fresh air, and thats the one thing you aint gonna get.
My stomach ... *bleuch* ... before going to bed late last night I had fours slices of bread with chopped up onions on top. Don't ask me why ... I just get the craving once in a great while.
And now that it's 7am and I'm up and about I don't feel all that great in my rumblytumblytummy.
I think I'll have to go put a permanent stain in the fine china.
Well, I've just eaten a jacket potato with chicken curry on it, a bag of salt n vinegar crisps, a punnet of blueberries, a punnet of raspberries and a can of 7-up.
I hope I can keep it in until 3.00pm - The office will be dead..
Well, I've just eaten a jacket potato with chicken curry on it, a bag of salt n vinegar crisps, a punnet of blueberries, a punnet of raspberries and a can of 7-up.
I hope I can keep it in until 3.00pm - The office will be dead..
how much can you eat.
ive only eaten an apple and a square of choc today.
ive only eaten an apple and a square of choc today.
Fridays we order food in. Its the only day I eat crap. I eat very healthily during the week. On the weekend its vodka and charlie. I'm losing weight well, but I'm getting nosebleeds and my cock is disappearing....
Comments
Bless! Anti-poo-lurve found right here on WOS.:smile:
I have no qualms about having a crap in your loo, so long as you're not standing by watching. Be warned though, I do VERY BIG turds, and I may need to boil a few kettles and pour some bleach down to shift it. When d'ya want me round?
I was 'literally' talking shit all day in work.
I thought it was just me and shitbrick suffered from this, I won`t even crap in my own house, if I`ve got mates in, whilst one mate in particular loves to (in his own words) "Ganna gan and punish ya` toilet" or "Tek the enamel off ya` toilet" etc etc :o
Imodium is always handy before a holiday or stay anywhere !
Thats Right - Just do the maths.
1 x $#it per day @ 10 Mins
x 5 days x 46 weeks per year
x 49 years Working Life (16-65)
= 117600 Minutes per working life.
= 1960 Hours.
1 Working year = 5 days x 8 Hours x 48 Weeks
1920 Hours
Therefore if you have a $#it at work everydayyou get pais more than 1 years salary for having a $#it.
I have to wait for everyone else to leave the bathroom until I leave the stall. I can't have it be known that the person who just did the dump that sounded like a depth charge hitting the ocean, followed up with a fart that hit the precise resonant frequency of the bathroom itself (and thus was amplified to ear-bleedingly loud levels, as well as the violence of its exit causing the butt cheeks to open and close with such violence that it hurts, and causing one person to remark "Dear god!") was me.
And remember it's the quality of the dump that counts, listen as that first plop hits the bowl and ask Does it sound like the door of Mercedes closing or does it sound like when the bottle of squirty cream runs out.
Just enjoy the experience and if you are that bothered then use the little brush beside the toilet and clean up after yourself.
firing off blood as well as poo
hes on the sick at the minute and is going for an operation.think theyre gonna remove his bowel or some of it
i call him mr shits :D
A.
Apparently many women in Japan are so self-conscious about their 'bathroom noises' that they continuously flush the toilet while using it, to mask the sound. The resulting waste of water has prompted the introduction of a device known as the "Sound Princess" in public toilets, which emulates the sound of rushing water.
I read it on Wikipedia, so it must be true.
As for me in the 11 years that kids spend in school, I took a shit 3 times and I felt dirty every time. Especially since some scruffy twat had actually written on the cubicle wall using his own feculance as ink shall we say.
Also I used to take shits at work and purposely stay in the bog after I'd finished. Used to play this shoot em' up on my mobile phone. The name escapes me but you got the choice of 3 ships to choose from good fun it was, and the amount of skiving I did at work I actually got quite good at the game in question.
And he'd ALWAYS keep the door open ... and he'd always sit*, no matter what his business was in there.**
Oh, yeah ... and I did at one time have an office manager who would hunt us down, even into the bathroom, if he needed to get a hold of us ... very weird s(h)itting there, minding your own ... and then I'd hear: "Skarpo, you in there? Come see me when you're done" ... Annoying like heck ... especially considering we all had walkie-talkies and it never was anything that couldn't wait.
Skarpo
:-)
*He wasn't a big fella, it's just the way he was used to doing things.
**... and yes ... I did more often than not hear exactly what it was he was doing in there.
ive heard of blokes doing that, and not even nonce's. they sit on the toilet for all the stuff they are about to do. i mean i will do it, if i have company and im wearing some trackies without a fly. cos i dont want piss stains down me.
anyhoo there is a scientific reason for these conditions, that i will post if i can find it written down proper.
i should add toilet training to my CV. i have a grade 3, in that i rarely soil myself.
Once I've had lunch I will be in a bad way... I can't do it ! I just can't !
Saying that, if I can hold out till 3pm, most of the office staff go home and I will be under less pressure then..
i'll PM my mobile number, i'll talk you through it, a bit like a helpline. in fact if anyone else needs some support i'm available 24/7.
Of course later on that night when i get on the flight suddenly i feel my stomachs about to explode. Oh my god. My worst nightmare. I'm on a flight (luckily sat at the front) and my stomatchs gonna explode. When we take off and the light goes off that we can move about i instantly go to the loo, what happens, the second i go there the air stewardess puts a note on it to say its not working, i kid you not. So theres one toilet on the plane, all the way down the other end, no way on earth i can go to this loo, have this explosion happen (sorry !) and everyone hears and everyones queuing outside to use the one loo
I'm sweating like a pig, air stewardess gives me some pills as i'm going white. I dont even do anything when we land, my dad picks us up, go back to their house and i must admit then i 'go upstairs for a while'.
Anyway had poisoning from the water, lost about half a stone and had to go to the doctors as i couldnt keep anything down, food/water instanly went through me.
But that flight on the plane was terrible, i sooo wished i was at home !
must say though being ill on a plane is a bat situation, all you want is fresh air, and thats the one thing you aint gonna get.
And now that it's 7am and I'm up and about I don't feel all that great in my rumblytumblytummy.
I think I'll have to go put a permanent stain in the fine china.
More to follow as the news develop.
I hope I can keep it in until 3.00pm - The office will be dead..
how much can you eat.
ive only eaten an apple and a square of choc today.
Raw onions ... nopes, I'm not I vegetarian ... but I might be a vegetable ... maybe perhaps a turnip?
nah, more like a nut. ;)
Fridays we order food in. Its the only day I eat crap. I eat very healthily during the week. On the weekend its vodka and charlie. I'm losing weight well, but I'm getting nosebleeds and my cock is disappearing....