The Fool's Workplace Survey
I thought I'd try and find out more about what my fellow WOS'ers are up to during their work hours, so I've compiled a simple survey. Overwrite my answers and repost please. Cheers.
WORKPLACE SURVEY
What type of company do you work for ?
A magazine / print / design company.
How long have you worked there ?
About 4 years I think.
Do you like your job ?
It's ok. It could be far worse. I shouldn't really complain.
What’s the best part about it ?
Using the internet and being on MSN / Myspace all day chatting to people.
What’s the worst part about it ?
Our customers. The majority are retards. They make so many mistakes it drives me nuts and trebles my workload. It isn't rocket science. Clowns.
What hours do you work ?
9am - 4.30pm Mon-Friday with an hour for lunch each day.
Do you have a specific dress code ?
I wear trousers & shirt. Ditched the tie. I try to look respectable as many customers drop in. Never jeans etc - just smart / casual stuff.
Do you like your boss ?
I have 4 directors. One is thick as pigshit, two are fussy women and one is the tightest, laziest, most annoying bloke you will ever meet.
Do you like your work colleagues ?
They are all ok. Much older than me, so I don't really speak to them much, but we all get on very well.
Have you ever played computer games at work ?
Most days. Mainly emulators so that I can hide it quickly on my desktop.
Do you fancy any one at work ?
Not at all. The place lacks nice women. Everyone is over 38 years old.
Have you ever been in trouble at work ?
Got caught messing about on the net & MSN a few times, but I've got away with it. Once sent Ant Attack to my boss on email by mistake but blagged my way out of it. I think they just leave me to my own devices nowadays.
Can you see yourself being there in 5 years time ?
Theres a 50/50 chance. I hope not. Would like to move into something more interesting now. I've done this for far too long.
What’s the funniest thing that’s happened there ?
One of the drivers not speaking to another driver for a year because he walked in on him having a dump, and he told everyone in the building. It was great watching them avoiding each other even though they worked next to each other. Sad old fools.
WORKPLACE SURVEY
What type of company do you work for ?
A magazine / print / design company.
How long have you worked there ?
About 4 years I think.
Do you like your job ?
It's ok. It could be far worse. I shouldn't really complain.
What’s the best part about it ?
Using the internet and being on MSN / Myspace all day chatting to people.
What’s the worst part about it ?
Our customers. The majority are retards. They make so many mistakes it drives me nuts and trebles my workload. It isn't rocket science. Clowns.
What hours do you work ?
9am - 4.30pm Mon-Friday with an hour for lunch each day.
Do you have a specific dress code ?
I wear trousers & shirt. Ditched the tie. I try to look respectable as many customers drop in. Never jeans etc - just smart / casual stuff.
Do you like your boss ?
I have 4 directors. One is thick as pigshit, two are fussy women and one is the tightest, laziest, most annoying bloke you will ever meet.
Do you like your work colleagues ?
They are all ok. Much older than me, so I don't really speak to them much, but we all get on very well.
Have you ever played computer games at work ?
Most days. Mainly emulators so that I can hide it quickly on my desktop.
Do you fancy any one at work ?
Not at all. The place lacks nice women. Everyone is over 38 years old.
Have you ever been in trouble at work ?
Got caught messing about on the net & MSN a few times, but I've got away with it. Once sent Ant Attack to my boss on email by mistake but blagged my way out of it. I think they just leave me to my own devices nowadays.
Can you see yourself being there in 5 years time ?
Theres a 50/50 chance. I hope not. Would like to move into something more interesting now. I've done this for far too long.
What’s the funniest thing that’s happened there ?
One of the drivers not speaking to another driver for a year because he walked in on him having a dump, and he told everyone in the building. It was great watching them avoiding each other even though they worked next to each other. Sad old fools.
Post edited by misguided_fool on
Comments
What type of company do you work for ?
NHS trust.
How long have you worked there ?
7 years.
Do you like your job ?
It's ok.
What?s the best part about it ?
the ladies
What?s the worst part about it ?
getting a hard on
What hours do you work ?
9 to 5, half hour lunch
Do you have a specific dress code ?
shirt, tie, no jeans
Do you like your boss ?
she is a sexy blonde
Do you like your work colleagues ?
some are hot.
Have you ever played computer games at work ?
no.
Do you fancy any one at work ?
yeah a few.
Have you ever been in trouble at work ?
yeah, me and a girl didn't get on cos she was a bitch, we got told to make up.
Can you see yourself being there in 5 years time ?
oh god, i hope not.
What?s the funniest thing that?s happened there ?
someone once confused the street, 'doctor lane' for an actual doctor.
Varies depending on contracts/workloads. Mostly work from home.
How long have you worked there ?
4 years
Do you like your job ?
Its great - I do what I love!
What?s the best part about it ?
Not having days/hours set for me.
What?s the worst part about it ?
Getting clients to pay me. Or print designers that think the web should look the same as a magazine
What hours do you work ?
Mostly around 16-18 hours a day. Depends on workload.
Do you have a specific dress code ?
not really. I tend to dress smart/casual as its a psychological thing. Get dressed for work and I am more likely to actually do some work! If I'm in jeans I tend to fart around doing other things.
Do you like your boss ?
No. He's a tosser.
Do you like your work colleagues ?
If I had any, I probably wouldn't like them.
Have you ever played computer games at work ?
No. I try to split work from other things. I guess its the difference between self employment and having an employer.
Do you fancy any one at work ?
Yes. lol.
Have you ever been in trouble at work ?
I get moaned at quite a lot by clients and have lost a couple due to my lack of diplomacy. Tell a client to fuck off and they sometimes do!
Can you see yourself being there in 5 years time ?
I hope so.
What?s the funniest thing that?s happened there ?
Hard to say. I laugh out loud most days. Mostly at posts on WoS.
I heard Foggy's boss was a bastard.
The answer to 'Do you fancy anyone at work' did make me laff...
WORKPLACE SURVEY
What type of company do you work for ?
Shoe Carnival/Annona Bakery and cafe/Meuth Carpets
How long have you worked there ?
4 days/2weeks/5 months
Do you like your job ?
I've done worse/yes/It keeps me in beer and burritos
What?s the best part about it ?
Nothing/Embezzling sandwiches/I choose my hours
What?s the worst part about it ?
Everything/Crazy cheapskate lady/I can never be bothered when the work actually HAS to be done
What hours do you work ?
7am-3.30pm/10am-5.30pm (4pm-5.30pm on shoe carnival days)/whenever I want
Do you have a specific dress code ?
no/an apron/no
Do you like your boss ?
Not really/yes/I'm pretty much my own
Do you like your work colleagues ?
Suppose so/yes/don't have any
Have you ever played computer games at work ?
No/no/yes
Do you fancy any one at work ?
Definitely not/Yes, it's my wife/nobody else there but me
Have you ever been in trouble at work ?
no/yes/yes
Can you see yourself being there in 5 years time ?
no/maybe/yes
What?s the funniest thing that?s happened there ?
haven't been there long enough/I missed the only really funny thing here/nothing.
What type of company do you work for ?
Software department of a systems contractor kinda thing.
How long have you worked there ?
Nearly 10 years (!!)
Do you like your job ?
Not at the moment. I have a couple job-shop pages open in Firefox at the moment.
What?s the best part about it ?
Fairly decent pay for the area.
What?s the worst part about it ?
Everything except the fairly decent pay, really.
What hours do you work ?
As few as possible - I'm flexi, so I need to do 37:30 a week. Fridays are short, so the other days tend to be 8 hours or more.
Do you have a specific dress code ?
Oddly, we only have a dress code on Friday. An MD a couple years ago brought in "Dress-down Friday - wear casual clothes, but please no shorts or jeans." As there's no actual dress code at work, Dress-down Friday is more restrictive than any other day of the week. So I ignore it and wear what I want.
Do you like your boss ?
Direct boss is ok.
The further up the chain you go, the further up their own bottoms they get.
Do you like your work colleagues ?
Mostly.
Have you ever played computer games at work ?
Yes - Viking Raiders on an emulator at lunchtimes.
Do you fancy any one at work ?
I couldn't possibly say, lest my fiance is reading ;p
Have you ever been in trouble at work ?
I almost got into trouble as an old z88 website got taken over by a page of "man-love". It didn't stay on my screen for long, and IT never mentioned it.
Can you see yourself being there in 5 years time ?
Hopefully not (see 3rd answer above).
What?s the funniest thing that?s happened there ?
There are secure bins around, where we have to put restricted waste to be burned. One day a sign appeared on one saying "Please don't dispose of adult literature in these bins"... which meant someone did try to dispose of adult literature in them.
Not stupidly funny, but kinda fun working out who it was. Everyone thought it was me :(
One that moves stuff around the world.
How long have you worked there ?
4 years
Do you like your job ?
Yes.
What?s the best part about it ?
One day I can be pulling some cat5, another day I can be working on a thorny race condition in a bit of C++. It's varied.
What?s the worst part about it ?
We have the Cthulu for a chairman (and she's a woman who resembles Hyacinth Bucket in every important respect)
What hours do you work ?
9.40 till about 5.30 or so. Usually.
Do you have a specific dress code ?
Dockers and a polo shirt
Do you like your boss ?
Yes, I have a very good immediate boss.
Do you like your work colleagues ?
Yeah, and I don't think there's anyone I dislike.
Have you ever played computer games at work ?
Only the odd prod of a web-game.
Do you fancy any one at work ?
A couple of people.
Have you ever been in trouble at work ?
No.
Can you see yourself being there in 5 years time ?
Quite possibly.
What?s the funniest thing that?s happened there ?
A do for the retirees. The Cthulu introduces herself, as she had only just been appointed. "Hi, I'm the Cthulu, and I'm the new chairman", says she. One of the retirees turned to her and said, "I thought you were the cabaret act, dressed like that!". Priceless!
What type of company do you work for ?
A magazine publisher.
How long have you worked there ?
About 4 years I think.
Do you like your job ?
It's ok. It could be far worse. I shouldn't really complain.
What?s the best part about it ?
Flexible hours and the view from the window. I can stop anytime if I need to kill a pigeon for the cats.
What?s the worst part about it ?
Demanding hours
What hours do you work ?
Whenever I have to
Do you have a specific dress code ?
I try to wear something, but what it is is not important
Do you like your boss ?
Its me. I'm alright.
Do you like your work colleagues ?
They are nice. Apart from my wife, I hardly ever see them. The business is in the UK but I'm not.
Have you ever played computer games at work ?
Most days
Do you fancy any one at work ?
Yes
Have you ever been in trouble at work ?
Quite often as I share an office with my wife
Can you see yourself being there in 5 years time ?
I hope I will have sold the publishing business by then and be running holidays from home and back to writing travel features
What?s the funniest thing that?s happened there ?
Whenever someone calls up asking for Harry Stack. He is the dog, but is listed in the magazines as an employee sometimes. He is usually busy when they ring. One man will only speak to Harry. No one else will do. He doesn't think my sales manager is any good but he clearly remembers how competent Harry is.
What type of company do you work for ?
car manufacturer
How long have you worked there ?
About 4 years
Do you like your job ?
It's alright
What?s the best part about it ?
not a lot....
What?s the worst part about it ?
a lot of people are up there own arse. And not half a s good/important as they think they are
What hours do you work ?
i dio my own hours, typically 7-5 ish
Do you have a specific dress code ?
business casual, trousers and shirt, jacket
Do you like your boss ?
he's ok, a bit lightweight and green
Do you like your work colleagues ?
some are ok, some are tossers
Have you ever played computer games at work ?
very rarely, too busy
Do you fancy any one at work ?
IT dept lacks women. have had a couple of fumbles previuosly. no happily settled
Have you ever been in trouble at work ?
nope. far too aware and cautious
Can you see yourself being there in 5 years time ?
nope
What?s the funniest thing that?s happened there ?
one of the guys is small, and his feet didn't touch the floor when he sat at his desk. cried over that one.....
What type of company do you work for ?
University IT department
How long have you worked there ?
Nearly 8 years now. Just writing that worries me....
Do you like your job ?
Most of the time. On occasion really dislike it.
What?s the best part about it ?
Different challenge every day, nice people (mostly), nice atmosphere.
What?s the worst part about it ?
Pay. Or Students. Or Faculty. Depending on the day. ;-)
What hours do you work ?
9-5ish.
Do you have a specific dress code ?
Nope.
Do you like your boss ?
Great bloke to have a drink in the pub with, not always so great at actually managing and such.
Do you like your work colleagues ?
On the whole, yes.
Have you ever played computer games at work ?
Rarely.
Do you fancy any one at work ?
Yes, though nobody who I work directly with any more (that gets awkward quickly)
Have you ever been in trouble at work ?
I've ruffled a few feathers in my time and not always gotten away with it. It goes without saying however that I was in the right. ;)
Can you see yourself being there in 5 years time ?
Worryingly, I'd say yes. Which is rather depressing.
What?s the funniest thing that?s happened there ?
It's an IT department, run on a University shoestring budget. Pretty much all the usual farcical stories you hear about IT have happened here at some point or other....
One company I worked for, we had to take over from helpdesk out of office hours. I got a call one morning from someone that rang EVERY morning complaining that her computer was running slow.
So, I walked to the other side of the room, and in my best 'star trek' voice yelled 'whooop whooop booting CICS... flux capaciter online....'
Went back to the phone and she said 'thats much better thanks'
A software development company.
How long have you worked there ?
Nearly 7 years.
Do you like your job ?
Yup.
What?s the best part about it ?
Doing something I really enjoy. Big fish, small pond scenario. I hate having diluted input into a project.
What?s the worst part about it ?
Probably the odd idiotic customer, some of them can be incredibly stupid. Or when the owner wants to try one of his new crackpot ideas. He'll do a quater-to-half a job, watch it go tits up and then blame someone else. Oh, and when he starts lying to customers in meetings your in as he doesn't know what he's talking about. Then he turns to you and says "Isn't that right?". Arggh!
What hours do you work ?
9-5.30 Mon to Thu, 9.00 to 5.00 Friday - Hour lunch.
Do you have a specific dress code ?
Trousers and shirt Mon to Thu. Smart casual on a Friday.
Do you like your boss ?
The directors above me are all good people and one is one of my oldest friends, so yes I do like them. The owner (see above) can be a twat but his heart is in the right place.
Do you like your work colleagues ?
Yup. There's no tension between anyone.
Have you ever played computer games at work ?
Only in the lunch hour where we used to have multiplayer games of whatever the latest version of PES was.
Do you fancy any one at work ?
Nope, they're all blokes.
Have you ever been in trouble at work ?
Not in this job.
Can you see yourself being there in 5 years time ?
Sure. We're on the verge of making a hell of a lot of money. I'd be mad to leave.
What?s the funniest thing that?s happened there?
When the bosses wife came in and attacked him and one of the girls who used to work here as he'd been shagging her on the sly (everyone knew about it). She was the type of lass who would do anything for money, and all those BJ's got her a directorship.
Lots of money, nice people, playing PES, women giving blowjobs... Any vacancies ?
So... you were the one being ridden then. Interesting :-)
What type of company do you work for ?
Power conditioning company Juicegoose.com
How long have you worked there ?
1 month
Do you like your job ?
Yes, very easy
What?s the best part about it ?
Very laid back
What?s the worst part about it ?
2hr drive going home
What hours do you work ?
8am-5pm
Do you have a specific dress code ?
Trousers and Shirt
Do you like your boss ?
Yes - he's an ex-hippy type.
Do you like your work colleagues ?
Yes
Have you ever played computer games at work ?
Not here...yet
Do you fancy any one at work ?
No - dudes and olds.
Have you ever been in trouble at work ?
Yes but not here
Can you see yourself being there in 5 years time ?
Yep, ride the gravy train.
What?s the funniest thing that?s happened there ?
Not been here long enough really to have anything funny happen.
Automotive training company
How long have you worked there ?
5 years
Do you like your job ?
Overall yes, lack of work does scare me though
What’s the best part about it ?
Work at home most of the time
What’s the worst part about it ?
Job security isnt great
What hours do you work ?
7.30am-5 and then half day on Friday
Do you have a specific dress code ?
At home whatever - at work shirt/trousers (no tie)
Do you like your boss ?
Yeah top bloke, been there for years and worked his way up
Do you like your work colleagues ?
Theyre alright but all ex mechanics and quite chavvy, theyre not keen on southerners !
Have you ever played computer games at work ?
Not in this job
Do you fancy any one at work ?
Nope, one woman at work and shes quite old and the opposite of a MILF, more like a MILRAF (mother i'd like to run away from). In my old job (ICL for 10 years) there were quite a few, that was during my heyday !
Have you ever been in trouble at work ?
No. One big story was one of the blokes in my office a few years back, he must have been looking at porn at work. Wasnt any type of porn, it was 'inter-family' porn ! Considering this bloke was married with two young kids i hope they told the police when they fired him also. Sick
Can you see yourself being there in 5 years time ?
Probably not, reckon i'll get made redundant soon, redundancy cover is in place, just a matter of time ! (gulp)
What’s the funniest thing that’s happened there ?
Watched a big fight outside our office by the local cob van (as they call it (breakfast van)) , some old MD type bloke got twatted by a chav, he responded by giving him a right kicking. Chav wasnt happy !
Quality - You should have filmed it and uploaded it to Youtube.
I never mentioned it was good money ;-) . It's a well paid job but I could be earning a lot more (10 grand plus) elsewhere. There will be some shared profits so if the company does as well as it should I could be looking at getting the mortgage paid off!!!
I wish there were at least one woman working here (preferably young and very fit). It does lack that feminine touch about the place. Yup there is a vacancy, but unless you're (in the bosses words, not mine) "young, attractive, got a fair-sized pair of jugs, able to type a letter and make a decent cup of tea" you ain't got a chance! The thing is, even though he said it jokingly, he meant every word of it.
i don't have the jugs, but i fit the rest of the criteria.
Large TV Broadcaster
How long have you worked there ?
5.5 Years
Do you like your job ?
Love it
What’s the best part about it ?
Playing with very expensive equipment
What’s the worst part about it ?
The other shift fart a lot
What hours do you work ?
Some times shift, sometimes 9-5 and sometimes nights
Do you have a specific dress code ?
No
Do you like your boss ?
Yes he is a good guy
Do you like your work colleagues ?
Yes
Have you ever played computer games at work ?
Occasionaly but not a game player
Do you fancy any one at work ?
No
Have you ever been in trouble at work ?
I sometimes get peoples backs up if they install a system without testing it properly but not in trouble as such
Can you see yourself being there in 5 years time ?
Not on site but hopefully working remotely from home
What’s the funniest thing that’s happened there ?
Did not happen at work but a guy admitted at lunchtime today that he put his underpants in the microwave to dry. Put it on for 30mins, went to watch telly and fire brigade had to get called.
i can't make tea, but i fit the rest of the criteria.
What type of company do you work for ?
Computer Consultancy.
How long have you worked there ?
Since 2004.
Do you like your job ?
It's ok. It could be far worse.
What’s the best part about it ?
Working from home.
What’s the worst part about it ?
Never knowing whether I'm still going to have a contract tomorrow.
What hours do you work ?
9am - 5.30pm Mon-Friday with an hour for lunch each day.
Sometimes (too often unfortunately) I have to work longer due to someone elses fuck-up.
Do you have a specific dress code ?
Er... no.
Do you like your boss ?
No. He doesn't know what he's doing. (I.e. he seems to not realize that computers and programming techniques have advanced since he last did any programming 20 years ago. Hence I'm trying to write a cutting edge system in C because he's afeared of OO)
Do you like your work colleagues ?
They all work from home, and the majority of them have just been fired.
The ones that are left, I'm not to keen on.
Have you ever played computer games at work ?
Only if I need a break. Pacman CE on the xbox 360 is good for a five minute diversion.
Do you fancy any one at work ?
Only when my wife is here.
Have you ever been in trouble at work ?
Yeah, but only because the boss is incapable of seeing his own mistakes, and really really doesn't like them being rubbed in his face with an 'i told you so' after the fact, no matter how diplomatically it's delivered.
Can you see yourself being there in 5 years time ?
On this particular contract? HELL NO. I don't see myself being here in two weeks time. (Which of course means I need to find something else).
What’s the funniest thing that’s happened there ?
Nothing. And that's tragic.
Andrew
What type of company do you work for ?
I work freelance but a large telecoms company this week
How long have you worked there ?
Just under 2 years - getting close to IR35
Do you like your job ?
It supplies the beer tokens
What?s the best part about it ?
Going home
What?s the worst part about it ?
The bit between 8 and 4.30
What hours do you work ?
8 - 4.30
Do you have a specific dress code ?
No, normally trousers, shoes and polo shirt, some of the other folks wear jeans, Tee shirt and trainers
Do you like your boss ?
They never last long enough for me to form an opinion
Do you like your work colleagues ?
Good bunch of people - we work well as a team
Have you ever played computer games at work ?
I have my DS playing Nintendogs all day next to my monitor, network stess tests are still best done by "Doom" frag fests but mostly I watch films or TV when I get bored. (Just started the full "Firefly" series)
Do you fancy any one at work ?
A 6 floor office block with 100's of nubile 18 - 25 year old women. Its a letchers paradise
Have you ever been in trouble at work ?
Probably - Its a brave person who calls out any BOFH without a very very good reason. To have a go at herd of BOFH's usually means its worth checking your machine before security do.
Can you see yourself being there in 5 years time ?
The job won't exist then so I will have moved on
What?s the funniest thing that?s happened there ?
You had to be there but lets say its not a wise move for the boss to ask somebodys opinion in a general meeting without asking them to lie first. A very Dilbertesque situation.
It's the in thing.
(Refering to the microwaved pants incident above)
Always find it weird seeing my dad try and wear his trendy shirts but he always tucks them in his trousers/jeans. Takes the mick out of me as i always wear a shirt (non-work one) out as he says its to hide my gut (its not !).
People with polo shirts tucked in always seem quite american to me !
Its the in thing over here at the moment to tuck things in. Bloody skinny fit, retro stylee. I prefer them kept out. As you say it makes you look like an old todger unless you're like a rake... Especially with the trousers pulled up to your tits.