I always remember one of my uncles (we called him an uncle but he was more of a friend of the family). Whenever it was just me and him alone when i was a kid he used to introduce me to the world of the 'wrigglies' ! These were little creatures which lived under his clothes particularly his trousers.
As i get older i tend to think perhaps it wasnt as real as i thought, the wrigglies werent really secret creatures under his clothes, hmmmmm. I would ask my 'uncle' but my mum says hes been on a long holiday for the last 25 years.
my dad was a right bullshit artist. he was scottish, so we got all the scotch mist stories about haggis running around the highlands, he was a mason so we got stories about the secret stuff he got up to, he used to be a solider so we got that in abundance, he told us he had to register his hands at the local cop shop as they were classed as lethal weapons.
my mum on the other hand just told us the truth no matter what. we never believed in santa, the easter bunny, the tooth fairy.
it was an odd childhood, one where i wasn't writting letters to santa but instead listening about how my dad evaded capture by commies for the umpteenth time.
I remember when i was young my dads car was a mini at the time. The number plate started off something like OEY so the car was called 'ooey' and for years (hey i was young !) me and my sister always thought the car was alive and could talk !
Minis *are* alive, at least the proper British ones, not the new BMW ones.
The Mini I had at uni was certainly alive, and often up to no good. It was a bit malevolent at times, like Rincewind's luggage. I think it just liked to remind me that it was older than me and I should just shut up and pay attention. Occasionally, I'd take him out on the motorway just to remind him who was boss.
zxbruno: I understand that the process of carbonating soda (putting the fizz into fizzy drinks) leaves it with chemicals that inhibit bone growth if taken in excess. So if you did drink coke / lemonade all the time instead of having milk, fruit juices etc. you do actually run the risk of slowing growth. Don't know how much truth is in this or whether it's just an illogical extension of a general "eat well for a healthy body" thing.
mile: I believed haggis were real up to a quite embarrassing age, due to reading they were real in a Family Ness annual as a child, and never actually reading anything contradictory! Luckily this gormlessness manifested itself in front of my mum, rather than, say, at tech college. :-(
We always have the fair come to town on mothers day weekend and as a kid there was allways tall tales of kids getting abducted by the "gypo's" mainly on the Ghost Train. It usually ended with "and the train came back out into the open and all that was left was a toffee apple / candyfloss etc."
My mother was a kid in the 50's and she was allways told "Don't go past the end of the street or a black man will come and get you". She never saw a black man till she was 13 and it scared her half to death as she thought he was coming to "take her away".
Dave Spikey said on one of his standup dvd about "Jenny Greenteeth" who if children werent in before it got dark would come up through the pavement cracks and suck out your bone marrow. Whenether his dad come back from the pub pissed up and falling all over the place he thought Jenny Greenteeth had got him.
A bit off topic this next one but in a similar vein
When i was about 7 or 8 (1988) me and my mates Simon Karl and Dean used to hang about round the Secondary School in the summer holidays. We'd usually be lighting small fires etc as the only prerequisit for getting matches from the shop was to add "there for my mum" after what type of matches you wanted.
There was an old dissused games equipment building that was about the the size of a large shed with a flat roof. Inside was a hole in the roof and an old window frame propped up and used as a make shift ladder to get through the whole in the top onto the roof. You had to squeeze through a small gap in the door to get into the building. On day we lit a fire right next to the gap to get in without thinking and it went up quite quickly I went up through ladder first then karl then simon and as dean was going up the window frame ladder gave way and kind of wedged him underneath to make matters worse dean started having an astma attack. We didnt know what to do but Simon quick as a flash jumped back down and prised dean out from underneath and lifted him up through the hole and then launched himself up a couple of times before grabbing on the top and pulling himself on the roof. We all then ran away as you do by this time deans astma was better. Technically simon saved his life as me and karl were to scared to jump in and rescue him and from that day me and dean allways had a respect for simon bravery. The building didnt burn down so we were lucky.
Anyway about 4 years ago i met up with dean and karl and we got chatting and the subject of fire popped up. And i was saying yeah if simon hadnt have been there to pull you out from underneath ..... and before i could finish karl butted in saying "it was me who pulled dean out". To which we both replied no you never and to this day he still reckons he did it and not simon even when me, dean and simon all know it was simon. Later i found out karl has told loads of people that it was him. No matter how many times we tell him he was crying on the roof while simon saved him he still reckons it was him.
So a bit of a long story but i was wondering if anyone knew anyone like karl who had stolen someones glory and refuses to back down.
really good story that, enjoyed reading it. it was like a stephen king tale when hes writting about lost youth.
don't know about people stealing glory, but i still have a mate who steals my jokes and tells them back to people. also a few years ago me and him were in a big fight outside a club, his story chnaged from being punched out by a guy, to him slipping on some snow.
never had a life saving experience myself. but if you look back to my post in the 'bad things you did as a kid' about beating up a kid with special needs (actually he was just an albino with ADD) well when the albino was young he pulled a side of a shed off this lad he didn't know, he thanked him and they didn't meet again till high school. and this lad had turned into this right nob head, hard bastard bully boy. but he never forgot that this albino had saved him so left him alone and stood up for him. a bit like david and the lion.
We always have the fair come to town on mothers day weekend and as a kid there was allways tall tales of kids getting abducted by the "gypo's" mainly on the Ghost Train. It usually ended with "and the train came back out into the open and all that was left was a toffee apple / candyfloss etc."
After Mark Tildesley got kidnapped by a bunch of paedos in the early 80's in my hometown none of us were allowed to go to a funfair again !
I had to save my own life once, because no other bugger had the gumption.
July 1st, 1987. 1600 BST, plus or minus five minutes.
Some twat was trying to bully me again, and I just snapped - flashed into incandescent anger. I usually just unhappily took it when I was being bullied, but this time I had finally had enough, and I was going to smash this kid's face in. He ran for it, so I gave chase.
I chased him across the playground, and he went into one of the buildings. It was a warm, bright sunny day (of the type we've just not had this summer) and all the windows and doors were open. He went in through a set of french windows and closed them.
I pushed against the glass to re-open them to follow through, but the doors - old, and in not exactly perfect shape, snagged on something. I don't know what, stiffness in the hinges, or possibly a sticking doorframe, but they snagged - and instead of opening, the glass broke. The razor-sharp edges of the glass sliced through my wrist, all the way to the bone, and continued slicing maybe two inches down my wrist.
I withdrew my arm, and I knew immediately that I was in trouble. It's not like they say, the blood doesn't pulsate out of the two severed arteries - it simply gushes in a torrent. Especially when driven by a heart that is going at 150 bpm from running a 100 metre sprint.
Everyone around just stood and looked, ashen, as I began to rapidly bleed to death. No one even tried to get help, they just gawped. So, I started running, this time to the main entrance (which had a combination lock). While blood poured out all over the yard, up the walls, and up the door, I had to key in the combination with my left hand, and then twist the stiff doorknob, and shoulder charge the door. I bled all over the kid who was on the other side, who was just about to leave. Having done a first aid course only the week before, I tried to apply pressure, but it was difficult to hold pressure on the wound, and operate the various doors I needed to get through to get help, so I continued to lose a lot of blood.
I caught up with the housemaster (who, as luck would had it also had recently been on a first aid course). He applied pressure and completely stopped the bleeding, and sat me down before I fell down. His wife then came down the blood splattered passageway. My clothes were soaked in blood - the deep crimson colour of my coagulating blood contrasting strongly with my white shirt - it looked like I had committed a murder with a chainsaw.
She asked, "Is this an ambulance case?"
If I had the energy at the time I would have laughed.
The ambulance arrived about ten minutes later. I had to wait several hours to go to an operating theatre because there had been a major road accident, and I, at least, was no longer in danger of dying, unlike the less fortunate mangled victims of the car crash. I whiled away the time trying to pick the dried blood off me, and looked curiously into the two inch long, down to the bone gash in my elbow where a piece of flying glass must have got me - oddly, it wasn't bleeding at all.
The doctor who first examined it did the most painful thing in the world. I don't know what he did while he was examining the injury, but the pain was so sudden and so severe I screamed at the top of my voice. I've never known pain like it.
The end result: all flexor tendons in my wrist completely severed, as was the median nerve (the nerve that runs up the middle of your wrist, and carries back sensation from the thumb and adjacent two fingers), both radial and ulna arteries severed (I still don't have an ulna artery in my right hand - they had to use parts of it to repair the radial artery, which is so close to the surface now I can take my pulse just by looking at it). It took 6.5 hours of microsurgery to put it back together, followed by another three months of physiotherapy to make it all work again. I now have the longest lifeline in the world, because they had to cut into the palm of my right hand to pull the tendons back, and a scar that runs from the palm of my hand, then across the width of my wrist, and then four inches from the wrist towards the elbow, plus a 2 inch scar on my elbow. People moan about the NHS, but I don't - they did a perfect job. Their repair has lasted so far 20 years without fault.
The really curious thing was when the median nerve grew back (which took about 6 months) the nerve fibres didn't go up their original pathways, so if I touched one finger, the sensation would come out elsewhere on another finger. However, the brain eventually just rewires itself, so the sensation comes out at the right place today.
Has the thread suddenly turned into a 'This is your life' thing? A thrilling read, but where's the myth? Or are we supposed to go.... 'bah sounds like a load of old tripe and a myth that.'
I once had bad accident on my bike at aged eleven which resulted in a hole in my shoulder that you could see the bone (there was no fracture fortunately).
I will never, ever, ever, ever forget going to the hospital and the nurse saying that they would have to scrub the wound to get the dirt out. And they literally did. The wound was basically my entire shoulder being open to the bone and it was full of crap. They got a nail brush and put some "magic" fluid on that they told me would numb the pain. Did it hell. I screamed the place down as she cleaned the wound and untill the age of 21 I had a lump on my shoulder where the damage that fucking bitch gave me used to raise up when it got cold.
It eventually went down but in the last couple of years I've had problems moving the shoulder when it has got cold.
I once had bad accident on my bike at aged eleven which resulted in a hole in my shoulder that you could see the bone (there was no fracture fortunately).
I will never, ever, ever, ever forget going to the hospital and the nurse saying that they would have to scrub the wound to get the dirt out. And they literally did. The wound was basically my entire shoulder being open to the bone and it was full of crap. They got a nail brush and put some "magic" fluid on that they told me would numb the pain. Did it hell. I screamed the place down as she cleaned the wound and untill the age of 21 I had a lump on my shoulder where the damage that fucking bitch gave me used to raise up when it got cold.
It eventually went down but in the last couple of years I've had problems moving the shoulder when it has got cold.
Oh scrubbing....don't remind me..
I Took girlfriend home on my Motorbike to Macclesfield 25 miles from where I lived.....she refused to kiss me goodnight....I get pissed and drive off. Doing 95 down the new bypass they had...car switches lanes right in front of me....locked front wheel...bye bye arm flesh. Cops told me I had the distinction of being the first accident on the new road, they had measured my blood stain and it was 230+ feet...they said they never want to see me in Macclesfield again.
Off to the hospital for a good scrubbing with said nail brush and some gel to deaden the pain.
Next day....oh we'll have to scrub them again....nurse goes off and then comes back.. proceeds to scrub my arms WITHOUT applying the gel. They heard me screaming Leeds. Dont you have any of that gel I ask...Oh she says..I thought the other nurse had put it on.
Beanz and Vampyre.....Sue the NHS, people have for less I'm sure :lol:
They pain gel didn't work too well when they were sewing a hole in my forearm up either, that kinda sting but it wasn't anywhere near as bad as your capers.
I do know a kid who got a tooth drilled without aneasthetic, he said the dentist told him the tooth was dead and it wouldn't hurt. He said he'd never felt anything like it and he was sorely tempted to kick the dentist within an inch of his life.
I'd sooner meet the guy who while I was laying in the middle of the road drifting in and out of consciousness stopped his car and stood over me shaking his head and said...
'bet you wish you had been wearing leathers don't you?'
Then there was "Mr Blake" - the man that came around the houses looking for, and taking away all the naughty children. I've no idea where this one came from, maybe it's an Irish thing. My mum would say it to my sister and me, but gran would also, and since gran was of Irish decent, I assume her mother said it to her also. Either way, it put the living shits up my sister and me!
My mom and grandma used to tell us something similar. If my sister and I were taking too long to eat our food, we were told a man with a black bag would come to take us away. It was really scary at the time.
"Dont flick those elastic bands son, you'll have someones eye out !"
LIKE WHEN ? EVER ? IN HISTORY MUM ???
Full of it my mum..knew I shouldnt have listened. :D
Wouldn't know, a kid I used to work with back in England, used to drive the sweeping machine at work. Well there was this loony Turk who used to work there called Parviz who was a bit of a joker. Well the kid on the sweeper was doing under the canopies in the loading bay at the back the warehouse, and Parviz flicked a lacky band at him. Twatted him right in the eye, his eyeball was bright red and he actually got a bit of a shiner around it.
He said he would've kicked the fuck out of Parviz at the time, but he couldn't see. I laughed when he told me that, and I don't think he was too happy about it :D
My mum told me when I was very young that Lucozade (original) was made from piss. I have no idea why she said that (maybe her brummie sense of humor?). But since then I can't drink it without thinking of a row of old men in a factory pissing into the bottles, zipping up at the end of the shift and then clocking off.
My mum told me when I was very young that Lucozade (original) was made from piss. I have no idea why she said that (maybe her brummie sense of humor?). But since then I can't drink it without thinking of a row of old men in a factory pissing into the bottles, zipping up at the end of the shift and then clocking off.
I Took girlfriend home on my Motorbike to Macclesfield 25 miles from where I lived.....she refused to kiss me goodnight....I get pissed and drive off. Doing 95 down the new bypass they had...car switches lanes right in front of me....locked front wheel...bye bye arm flesh. Cops told me I had the distinction of being the first accident on the new road, they had measured my blood stain and it was 230+ feet...they said they never want to see me in Macclesfield again.
Off to the hospital for a good scrubbing with said nail brush and some gel to deaden the pain.
Next day....oh we'll have to scrub them again....nurse goes off and then comes back.. proceeds to scrub my arms WITHOUT applying the gel. They heard me screaming Leeds. Dont you have any of that gel I ask...Oh she says..I thought the other nurse had put it on.
Holy crap. You have my utmost sympathy Beanz. You got my mum and missus squirming today with your tale which is far more squemish than mine. I'll be honest, I refuse to have a nail brush in the bathroom. The missus has to keep hers in her drawer because I get the creeps just by looking at the freakin thing.
Umm it wasn't an 'Uncle' who told you this one was it?
How did you know, are you psychic or something. Must tell you tho, it doesn't work. And for those people on a diet, holding a canderel or hermaseta there doesn't work either.
Uncle Bob was such a liar. Didn't believe the one about how his spuzz would give you X-men style powers either.
Comments
As i get older i tend to think perhaps it wasnt as real as i thought, the wrigglies werent really secret creatures under his clothes, hmmmmm. I would ask my 'uncle' but my mum says hes been on a long holiday for the last 25 years.
my mum on the other hand just told us the truth no matter what. we never believed in santa, the easter bunny, the tooth fairy.
it was an odd childhood, one where i wasn't writting letters to santa but instead listening about how my dad evaded capture by commies for the umpteenth time.
The Mini I had at uni was certainly alive, and often up to no good. It was a bit malevolent at times, like Rincewind's luggage. I think it just liked to remind me that it was older than me and I should just shut up and pay attention. Occasionally, I'd take him out on the motorway just to remind him who was boss.
XMD 136G, how I miss you.
mile: I believed haggis were real up to a quite embarrassing age, due to reading they were real in a Family Ness annual as a child, and never actually reading anything contradictory! Luckily this gormlessness manifested itself in front of my mum, rather than, say, at tech college. :-(
My mother was a kid in the 50's and she was allways told "Don't go past the end of the street or a black man will come and get you". She never saw a black man till she was 13 and it scared her half to death as she thought he was coming to "take her away".
Dave Spikey said on one of his standup dvd about "Jenny Greenteeth" who if children werent in before it got dark would come up through the pavement cracks and suck out your bone marrow. Whenether his dad come back from the pub pissed up and falling all over the place he thought Jenny Greenteeth had got him.
A bit off topic this next one but in a similar vein
When i was about 7 or 8 (1988) me and my mates Simon Karl and Dean used to hang about round the Secondary School in the summer holidays. We'd usually be lighting small fires etc as the only prerequisit for getting matches from the shop was to add "there for my mum" after what type of matches you wanted.
There was an old dissused games equipment building that was about the the size of a large shed with a flat roof. Inside was a hole in the roof and an old window frame propped up and used as a make shift ladder to get through the whole in the top onto the roof. You had to squeeze through a small gap in the door to get into the building. On day we lit a fire right next to the gap to get in without thinking and it went up quite quickly I went up through ladder first then karl then simon and as dean was going up the window frame ladder gave way and kind of wedged him underneath to make matters worse dean started having an astma attack. We didnt know what to do but Simon quick as a flash jumped back down and prised dean out from underneath and lifted him up through the hole and then launched himself up a couple of times before grabbing on the top and pulling himself on the roof. We all then ran away as you do by this time deans astma was better. Technically simon saved his life as me and karl were to scared to jump in and rescue him and from that day me and dean allways had a respect for simon bravery. The building didnt burn down so we were lucky.
Anyway about 4 years ago i met up with dean and karl and we got chatting and the subject of fire popped up. And i was saying yeah if simon hadnt have been there to pull you out from underneath ..... and before i could finish karl butted in saying "it was me who pulled dean out". To which we both replied no you never and to this day he still reckons he did it and not simon even when me, dean and simon all know it was simon. Later i found out karl has told loads of people that it was him. No matter how many times we tell him he was crying on the roof while simon saved him he still reckons it was him.
So a bit of a long story but i was wondering if anyone knew anyone like karl who had stolen someones glory and refuses to back down.
don't know about people stealing glory, but i still have a mate who steals my jokes and tells them back to people. also a few years ago me and him were in a big fight outside a club, his story chnaged from being punched out by a guy, to him slipping on some snow.
never had a life saving experience myself. but if you look back to my post in the 'bad things you did as a kid' about beating up a kid with special needs (actually he was just an albino with ADD) well when the albino was young he pulled a side of a shed off this lad he didn't know, he thanked him and they didn't meet again till high school. and this lad had turned into this right nob head, hard bastard bully boy. but he never forgot that this albino had saved him so left him alone and stood up for him. a bit like david and the lion.
After Mark Tildesley got kidnapped by a bunch of paedos in the early 80's in my hometown none of us were allowed to go to a funfair again !
July 1st, 1987. 1600 BST, plus or minus five minutes.
Some twat was trying to bully me again, and I just snapped - flashed into incandescent anger. I usually just unhappily took it when I was being bullied, but this time I had finally had enough, and I was going to smash this kid's face in. He ran for it, so I gave chase.
I chased him across the playground, and he went into one of the buildings. It was a warm, bright sunny day (of the type we've just not had this summer) and all the windows and doors were open. He went in through a set of french windows and closed them.
I pushed against the glass to re-open them to follow through, but the doors - old, and in not exactly perfect shape, snagged on something. I don't know what, stiffness in the hinges, or possibly a sticking doorframe, but they snagged - and instead of opening, the glass broke. The razor-sharp edges of the glass sliced through my wrist, all the way to the bone, and continued slicing maybe two inches down my wrist.
I withdrew my arm, and I knew immediately that I was in trouble. It's not like they say, the blood doesn't pulsate out of the two severed arteries - it simply gushes in a torrent. Especially when driven by a heart that is going at 150 bpm from running a 100 metre sprint.
Everyone around just stood and looked, ashen, as I began to rapidly bleed to death. No one even tried to get help, they just gawped. So, I started running, this time to the main entrance (which had a combination lock). While blood poured out all over the yard, up the walls, and up the door, I had to key in the combination with my left hand, and then twist the stiff doorknob, and shoulder charge the door. I bled all over the kid who was on the other side, who was just about to leave. Having done a first aid course only the week before, I tried to apply pressure, but it was difficult to hold pressure on the wound, and operate the various doors I needed to get through to get help, so I continued to lose a lot of blood.
I caught up with the housemaster (who, as luck would had it also had recently been on a first aid course). He applied pressure and completely stopped the bleeding, and sat me down before I fell down. His wife then came down the blood splattered passageway. My clothes were soaked in blood - the deep crimson colour of my coagulating blood contrasting strongly with my white shirt - it looked like I had committed a murder with a chainsaw.
She asked, "Is this an ambulance case?"
If I had the energy at the time I would have laughed.
The ambulance arrived about ten minutes later. I had to wait several hours to go to an operating theatre because there had been a major road accident, and I, at least, was no longer in danger of dying, unlike the less fortunate mangled victims of the car crash. I whiled away the time trying to pick the dried blood off me, and looked curiously into the two inch long, down to the bone gash in my elbow where a piece of flying glass must have got me - oddly, it wasn't bleeding at all.
The doctor who first examined it did the most painful thing in the world. I don't know what he did while he was examining the injury, but the pain was so sudden and so severe I screamed at the top of my voice. I've never known pain like it.
The end result: all flexor tendons in my wrist completely severed, as was the median nerve (the nerve that runs up the middle of your wrist, and carries back sensation from the thumb and adjacent two fingers), both radial and ulna arteries severed (I still don't have an ulna artery in my right hand - they had to use parts of it to repair the radial artery, which is so close to the surface now I can take my pulse just by looking at it). It took 6.5 hours of microsurgery to put it back together, followed by another three months of physiotherapy to make it all work again. I now have the longest lifeline in the world, because they had to cut into the palm of my right hand to pull the tendons back, and a scar that runs from the palm of my hand, then across the width of my wrist, and then four inches from the wrist towards the elbow, plus a 2 inch scar on my elbow. People moan about the NHS, but I don't - they did a perfect job. Their repair has lasted so far 20 years without fault.
The really curious thing was when the median nerve grew back (which took about 6 months) the nerve fibres didn't go up their original pathways, so if I touched one finger, the sensation would come out elsewhere on another finger. However, the brain eventually just rewires itself, so the sensation comes out at the right place today.
My dad did this to me when I was 11.
Why on earth would your father do something like that to you?
I will never, ever, ever, ever forget going to the hospital and the nurse saying that they would have to scrub the wound to get the dirt out. And they literally did. The wound was basically my entire shoulder being open to the bone and it was full of crap. They got a nail brush and put some "magic" fluid on that they told me would numb the pain. Did it hell. I screamed the place down as she cleaned the wound and untill the age of 21 I had a lump on my shoulder where the damage that fucking bitch gave me used to raise up when it got cold.
It eventually went down but in the last couple of years I've had problems moving the shoulder when it has got cold.
Oh scrubbing....don't remind me..
I Took girlfriend home on my Motorbike to Macclesfield 25 miles from where I lived.....she refused to kiss me goodnight....I get pissed and drive off. Doing 95 down the new bypass they had...car switches lanes right in front of me....locked front wheel...bye bye arm flesh. Cops told me I had the distinction of being the first accident on the new road, they had measured my blood stain and it was 230+ feet...they said they never want to see me in Macclesfield again.
Off to the hospital for a good scrubbing with said nail brush and some gel to deaden the pain.
Next day....oh we'll have to scrub them again....nurse goes off and then comes back.. proceeds to scrub my arms WITHOUT applying the gel. They heard me screaming Leeds. Dont you have any of that gel I ask...Oh she says..I thought the other nurse had put it on.
They pain gel didn't work too well when they were sewing a hole in my forearm up either, that kinda sting but it wasn't anywhere near as bad as your capers.
I do know a kid who got a tooth drilled without aneasthetic, he said the dentist told him the tooth was dead and it wouldn't hurt. He said he'd never felt anything like it and he was sorely tempted to kick the dentist within an inch of his life.
'bet you wish you had been wearing leathers don't you?'
Son of a....If I coulda got up...
On-topic:
My mom and grandma used to tell us something similar. If my sister and I were taking too long to eat our food, we were told a man with a black bag would come to take us away. It was really scary at the time.
LIKE WHEN ? EVER ? IN HISTORY MUM ???
Full of it my mum..knew I shouldnt have listened. :D
Wouldn't know, a kid I used to work with back in England, used to drive the sweeping machine at work. Well there was this loony Turk who used to work there called Parviz who was a bit of a joker. Well the kid on the sweeper was doing under the canopies in the loading bay at the back the warehouse, and Parviz flicked a lacky band at him. Twatted him right in the eye, his eyeball was bright red and he actually got a bit of a shiner around it.
He said he would've kicked the fuck out of Parviz at the time, but he couldn't see. I laughed when he told me that, and I don't think he was too happy about it :D
.....nice :D
Or maybe they just 'clocked off'. i'm not sure... (if ya get my meaning).
Holy crap. You have my utmost sympathy Beanz. You got my mum and missus squirming today with your tale which is far more squemish than mine. I'll be honest, I refuse to have a nail brush in the bathroom. The missus has to keep hers in her drawer because I get the creeps just by looking at the freakin thing.
How did you know, are you psychic or something. Must tell you tho, it doesn't work. And for those people on a diet, holding a canderel or hermaseta there doesn't work either.
Uncle Bob was such a liar. Didn't believe the one about how his spuzz would give you X-men style powers either.
Oh and don't play with eggshells or you'll get blisters on your fingers.
If you go out into the snow and then back in to the warm and then out again and so on, you will get chillblains.