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sick joke number 1

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  • Scottie_ukScottie_uk
    edited September 2007
    Q:
    What was the last thing that whent though Collin McRae's mind as his chopper whent down?

    A:
    It's Rotor Blade!!
    Calling all ASCII Art Architects Visit the WOS Wall of Text and contribute: https://www.yourworldoftext.com/wos
  • DarenDaren
    edited September 2007
    Why do the police have trouble solving murders in the redneck community?

    Because they all have the same DNA.
  • DarenDaren
    edited September 2007
    Isn't it ironic- after all this time, Marcel Marceau is really trapped in a box.....
  • SpectorSpector
    edited September 2007
    The funny thing was, as Marcel Marceau's death was announced on News 24, they had a guy on the phone who was going to talk about his life, but when the newscaster asked the first question, there was a break in the signal, and it was totally silent. For a moment I thought that just like his hero, the guy on the other end was answering the question via the instrument of mime.
    THE RETRO GAMER IRC CHATROOM. EVERY SUNDAY AT 9PM BST. LOG ON USING THE LINK BELOW:
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  • beanzbeanz
    edited September 2007
    What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night?

    A cot death kid.
  • dm_boozefreekdm_boozefreek
    edited September 2007
    beanz wrote: »
    What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night?

    A cot death kid.

    I think this one holds the crown at present, that is one fucked up joke :lol:
    Every night is curry night!
  • dm_boozefreekdm_boozefreek
    edited September 2007
    Q: Why is the Bible like a penis?

    A: You get it forced down your throat by a priest.
    Every night is curry night!
  • dm_boozefreekdm_boozefreek
    edited September 2007
    Q:What's the difference between Pope John Paul II and Madeleine McCann?

    A:The Pope died a virgin.
    Every night is curry night!
  • DEATHDEATH
    edited September 2007
    dm_boozefreek wrote: »
    Q: Why is the Bible like a penis?

    A: You get it forced down your throat by a priest.

    :lol: Classic!
    Oh bugger!<br>
  • DarenDaren
    edited September 2007
    In a recent interview, a close friend of Marcel Marceau said
    "I had no idea he was ill. If only he'd said something".
  • Scottie_ukScottie_uk
    edited September 2007
    I found this GIF it's so funny!!

    [It's not completely work safe. It's not really dirty just a little, though use your judgement]

    http://img251.imageshack.us/img251/3309/4729439mhh0db.gif
    Calling all ASCII Art Architects Visit the WOS Wall of Text and contribute: https://www.yourworldoftext.com/wos
  • Scottie_ukScottie_uk
    edited September 2007
    Cor! im supprised Mel has not spotted my last posting on here yet!!
    Calling all ASCII Art Architects Visit the WOS Wall of Text and contribute: https://www.yourworldoftext.com/wos
  • mel the bellmel the bell
    edited September 2007
    seen it before tbh :P
    Professional Mel-the-Bell Simulator................"So realistic, I found myself reaching for the Kleenex King-Size!" - Richard Darling
  • guesserguesser
    edited September 2007
    Scottie_uk wrote: »
    Cor! im supprised Mel has not spotted my last posting on here yet!!

    maybe he's been at hospital all afternoon having it sewn back on :p
    My rubbish website including the redrawn Amstrad schematics and the Sinclair Wiki.
  • DarenDaren
    edited September 2007
    Two Drums and a Cymbal fall off a cliff....

    Badoom Boom Tshhhhhhh



    I phoned the Islamic Samaritans today.

    When I said I was feeling suicidal they got all excited and asked if I knew how to fly a plane.
  • Scottie_ukScottie_uk
    edited September 2007
    Daren wrote: »
    Two Drums and a Cymbal fall off a cliff....

    Badoom Boom Tshhhhhhh

    Thank one tickled me that did!
    Calling all ASCII Art Architects Visit the WOS Wall of Text and contribute: https://www.yourworldoftext.com/wos
  • PilsenerPilsener
    edited September 2007
    Here's an oldie:

    Q: The similarity between Elton John and a small boat ?

    A: They both have a Mercury in the rear.
  • Scottie_ukScottie_uk
    edited September 2007
    Q: Why did the chav cross the road?
    A: To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.

    ===

    Q. What do Chavs use as protection during sex?
    A. A bus shelter.


    ===

    Q. What do you call a 30 year old Chav?
    A. Dunno. Ask her 17 year old son.
    A2: Granny

    ===

    Q:What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
    A:The bride.

    ===

    Q: What do you call a chav in a suit?
    A: The accused.
    Calling all ASCII Art Architects Visit the WOS Wall of Text and contribute: https://www.yourworldoftext.com/wos
  • DarenDaren
    edited October 2007
    What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

    Not being retarded.
  • IN31IN31
    edited October 2007
    Scientists have discovered that most woman at some point in their lives have some intelligent DNA in their bodies.

    They also found that 95% of woman will spit it out shortly afterwards though.


    *Hides from ZX Beccy*

    ;)
  • Mrs DEATHMrs DEATH
    edited October 2007
    IN31 wrote: »
    Scientists have discovered that most woman at some point in their lives have some intelligent DNA in their bodies.

    They also found that 95% of woman will spit it out shortly afterwards though.


    *Hides from ZX Beccy*

    ;)

    Spit??

    You can hide from ZX Beccy, but nobody can hide from DEATH
  • beanzbeanz
    edited October 2007
    Mrs DEATH wrote: »
    Spit??

    You can hide from ZX Beccy, but nobody can hide from DEATH

    Hey! quit deleting and reposting the same thing!
  • rich_chandlerrich_chandler
    edited October 2007
    Mrs DEATH wrote: »
    Spit??

    You can hide from ZX Beccy, but nobody can hide from DEATH
    I'm confused about the implication here...

    ... you don't spit it out or have I misinterpreted?
    I wanna tell you a story 'bout a woman I know...
  • DarenDaren
    edited October 2007
    Reminds me of this joke...ahem:

    What's the most intelligent thing to have ever come out of a woman's mouth?

    Einstein's cock.
  • rich_chandlerrich_chandler
    edited October 2007
    Daren wrote: »
    Reminds me of this joke...ahem:

    What's the most intelligent thing to have ever come out of a woman's mouth?

    Einstein's cock.
    LOLOLOLOL... ahem
    I wanna tell you a story 'bout a woman I know...
  • ADJBADJB
    edited October 2007
    Why do black people wear baggy trousers ?

    Because there negro's
  • DarenDaren
    edited October 2007
    Knock Knock

    Who's there?

    Diana

    Diana who?

    You're on the jury!
  • milemile
    edited October 2007
    Daren wrote: »
    Knock Knock

    Who's there?

    Diana

    Diana who?

    You're on the jury!

    ha ha, thats well funyy, im going to try that out.
  • IN31IN31
    edited October 2007
    I reached my sick quota for this month :cry:
  • DEATHDEATH
    edited October 2007
    beanz wrote: »
    Hey! quit deleting and reposting the same thing!

    It was only deleted and re-posted becaus her sig wasn't working.
    Oh bugger!<br>
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