... you don't spit it out or have I misinterpreted?
I never knew what a kiss could mean
Until the first time I kissed you,
You took my love in the palm of your hand
An' showed me what a woman could do.
Now I don't want sugar coated loving
Just silver tongue tenderness,
You gotta give me a certain satisfaction
The kind of love you seal with a kiss.
An' spit it out, spit it out, spit it out
If you don't like it.
here's a tip for you lads, after she's taken a mouthfull of your gunk, call her a nasty slag, this will enrage her and you can avoid any unecesary cuddling before you fall asleep.
here's a tip for you lads, after she's taken a mouthfull of your gunk, call her a nasty slag, this will enrage her and you can avoid any unecesary cuddling before you fall asleep.
Or take her up the arse doggy style and halfway through tell her she is dirty slag for letting you take her up the arse.
Then see how long you can stay on for! :grin:
Joke 100% recycled from a previous one.
Edit - Previous dodgy thread has been deleted by Martijn as requested
More the type of ring in my previous post about doggy style and your use of the word toss ;) For some reason I was thinking of a woman sticking her finger up your bum and....oh never mind
More the type of ring in my previous post about doggy style and your use of the word toss ;) For some reason I was thinking of a woman sticking her finger up your bum and....oh never mind
please stop thinking about a woman sticking a finger up my bum. it creeps me out.
i bet you sniggered all the way through lotr's when frodo mentioned his magic ring. :)
Daughter - Dad can I stay out to 1am as I am going out to a party?
Dad - Only if you suck my dick
Daughter - What? You are sick
Dad - Well that is the conditions, take it or leave it
The daughter unzips his flies and start sucking him
Daughter - Yuch! Your dick tastes like shit
Dad - Blame your brother, he wanted to stay out till 2am
Q: What's the definition of a Quarter Pounder with Cheese?
A: An anorexic with a yeast infection
A small black boy is crying by the side of the road and God happens to be passing.
'Whats up little black one?' asks God.
The black boy cries 'All my friends have Halloween costumes and I don't have one'
God says ' I can help you out there no need to cry',
and with the wave of a hand 2 wings sprout out of the boys back.
The boy whoops with joy and thanks God and says,
'So I'm and Angel right?'
God says 'Naw nigga, youse a bat'
Oh, no. Every time you turn up something monumental and terrible happens.
I don’t think I have the stomach for it.
--Raziel (Legend of Kain: Soul Reaver 2)
A man is driving along and runs over three black men. One went through the windscreen, one left a massive dent on the bonnet and the other was trown 20 foot away.
Policed charged one with breaking and entering, one with criminal damage and the other for leaving the scene of an accident.
A mother sent her daughter on an errand to get a couple of eggs, a sausage and a bottle of tomato ketchup. After paying for the items she decided to carry them home underneath her sweater. However, on the way home, she stumbled and the items fell out and smashed on to the ground.
As she saw the mess of tomato ketchup, two eggs and a sausage she started to cry - her mum was going to kill her. As she sat there crying an old lady sat beside her, put her arm around her and said in a comforting voice, "Don't worry love. It wouldn't have lived long anyway, its eyes are too far apart."
Comments
I never knew what a kiss could mean
Until the first time I kissed you,
You took my love in the palm of your hand
An' showed me what a woman could do.
Now I don't want sugar coated loving
Just silver tongue tenderness,
You gotta give me a certain satisfaction
The kind of love you seal with a kiss.
An' spit it out, spit it out, spit it out
If you don't like it.
:)
Then see how long you can stay on for! :grin:
Joke 100% recycled from a previous one.
Edit - Previous dodgy thread has been deleted by Martijn as requested
you can add that to the bird olympics, another sport.
ring toss - propose to her in an open field, but say your ex girlfriends name instead of hers, measure how far she throws the ring.
hopefully not a peadophile ring.
More the type of ring in my previous post about doggy style and your use of the word toss ;) For some reason I was thinking of a woman sticking her finger up your bum and....oh never mind
please stop thinking about a woman sticking a finger up my bum. it creeps me out.
i bet you sniggered all the way through lotr's when frodo mentioned his magic ring. :)
:) Thanks for the info Myles :)
Frodo's magic ring? Almost as good as smeagol's "precious" :)
AAAAGH! Where's the eye soap :o
Because it's not big and not clever.
You have to make aeroplane noises to get your cock in her mouth.
He asks his girlfriend "what's wrong?"
She looks at him and says in disgust, "I know the truth about you..." she sobs and continues, "I know
you're a Pedophile!"
The man walks up to her and hugs her, then he says "Honey, I'm so proud of you, 'pedophile' is such a big word for a 10 year old."
Woman 1 - I hope I have a boy as this jumber is blue
Woman 2 - I hope I have a spastic as I have just fucked up the arm on this one
A baby with deflated armbands.
:)
rofl.
not enough jokes about spastics.
His colleagues have kicked his fucking head in!
I think you'll find the politically correct term is SCOPE :D
Dad - Only if you suck my dick
Daughter - What? You are sick
Dad - Well that is the conditions, take it or leave it
The daughter unzips his flies and start sucking him
Daughter - Yuch! Your dick tastes like shit
Dad - Blame your brother, he wanted to stay out till 2am
Q: What's the definition of a Quarter Pounder with Cheese?
A: An anorexic with a yeast infection
'Whats up little black one?' asks God.
The black boy cries 'All my friends have Halloween costumes and I don't have one'
God says ' I can help you out there no need to cry',
and with the wave of a hand 2 wings sprout out of the boys back.
The boy whoops with joy and thanks God and says,
'So I'm and Angel right?'
God says 'Naw nigga, youse a bat'
That's a good 'un.
I don’t think I have the stomach for it.
--Raziel (Legend of Kain: Soul Reaver 2)
https://www.youtube.com/user/VincentTSFP
A horse walks into a bar.
The barman says "Why the long face?"
The horse replies "Face cancer".
Policed charged one with breaking and entering, one with criminal damage and the other for leaving the scene of an accident.
This joke was brought to you courtesy of Sickipedia
That's why it's so hard to identify rapists.
As she saw the mess of tomato ketchup, two eggs and a sausage she started to cry - her mum was going to kill her. As she sat there crying an old lady sat beside her, put her arm around her and said in a comforting voice, "Don't worry love. It wouldn't have lived long anyway, its eyes are too far apart."
Heath Ledger wasn't meant to have the whole pack of sleeping pills.