Stupid adverts

edited October 2007 in Chit chat
That advert for Doctor Kawashima's Brain Training on TV at the minute.

Do people really believe that Nicole Kidman has nothing better to do than sit around her apartment tapping her fucking Nintendo DS in a desperate attempt to beat her last high-score on Dr Kawashima? I mean, come on people. Let's get real here.

And the Gillette Fusion razor advert. The demo of the new razor says something like "FOR ILLUSTRATIVE PURPOSES ONLY" or something like that when it shows the Fusion Razor moving up and down the guys chin and radiating blue circles as it moves along. Is there anybody out there who really believes that the Gillette Fusion razor gives off miniature blue atomic fusion pulses as it zips along your chin, not just cutting off thoese pesky hairs but wiping them out completely with MINIATURE NUCLEAR OBLITERATION technology?

Come on people. Get a grip!

Fucking stupid adverts.
Post edited by BigBadMick on
«1

Comments

  • edited October 2007
    Adverts like this will always be crap, it's like the 6 bladed titanium edged double hyper smooth shaver system from Gillette, is better than any other razor, well so was the one with 5 blades before it, so were they lying beforehand? Perhaps they should've said best razor you can get until we make another stupid upgrade which will make no difference and still give you a shaving rash on your neck no matter how careful you are, and we're gonna charge you 30 quid for the razor with 3 blades and an additional 15 quide for a top up pack of 3 blades which looks like it houses 5 but only has 3 in it.

    Also what really pisses me off is HD-DVD ads, they're worse than the DVD ones. HD-DVD is perfect there are no flaws, in fact the definition and sound is so real it's unrealistic. Once again when they were saying this about regular DVDs 10 years ago were they lying? apparently you couldn't get any better than a DVD it was perfect, now here we are with something that is beyond perfect. Bollocks it's just another excuse to sell a new format which may and I MEAN may only be marginally better than the one before it. Suck my balls is what I say, there was nothing wrong with regular DVDs, if it ain't broke don't fix it, fucking gluesniffers.
    Every night is curry night!
  • edited October 2007
    Those Gillette Fusion ads are clearly aimed at idiots, though. Only a moron of the highest order would think that a razor you have to put batteries in would be a great idea. Clearly the next step is the upgradable razor, just like a car or a PC. There'll be an entire 'urban' 'subculture' based around them, and it's only a matter of time until there's a TV show - 'Pimp My Razor'. Only wait, IT'S A RAZOR, YOU GODDAMN IMBECILES. All you really need is one - that's right, ONE - sharp blade. You don't need nineteen tiny, expensive little blades that you have to keep replacing, and you certainly don't need sodding electricity. Quit buying things you don't need and JUST SHAVE YOUR STUPID, SIMPLE FACE, YOU IDIOT.

    (And... breathe.)
  • edited October 2007
    I liked the "Real Genius" solution (BBC R4, Mondays, 18:30-19:00). Instead of a razor with lots of blades, why not a face mask, custom fitted for your face, lined with blades? Then all you do is get up in the morning, put your face in the mask and nod.
  • edited October 2007
    I've never understood why the Gillette ad folk expect me to believe that sliding 5 blades across my face at once will give me less irritation than sliding 1 blade across my face 5 times. Unless they are talking about arm irritation which was not aware was a problem based on the fact that razors aint heavy.
  • edited October 2007
    Those adverts dont really annoy me. Cillit Bang does, i mean its just so over the top, i know theyre doing that on purpose but doesnt want me to buy it anymore.

    BUT the worst ones are Phones 4 U with those very very weird adverts with characters who should be off Deliverance.

    I mean theyre just not funny, i honestly will not buy a phone from Phones 4 U because i hate those adverts so much. I cant believe some idiots are getting paid a lot of money to make those adverts. Theyre just terrible
  • edited October 2007
    psj3809 wrote: »
    BUT the worst ones are Phones 4 U with those very very weird adverts with characters who should be off Deliverance.

    I mean theyre just not funny, i honestly will not buy a phone from Phones 4 U because i hate those adverts so much. I cant believe some idiots are getting paid a lot of money to make those adverts. Theyre just terrible

    I have to admit that I actually like the Phones 4 U adverts. The over the top characters make me laugh. :)

    Don't know what that says about my sense of humour...
  • edited October 2007
    natxcross wrote: »
    Clearly the next step is the upgradable razor, just like a car or a PC.

    EEK! Imagine if the razors end up running Windows :-o :mad: :mad:

    One Blue Screen of Death and the razor will "close" down your jugguler. Permanently.
  • edited October 2007
    BigBadMick wrote: »

    Do people really believe that Nicole Kidman has nothing better to do than sit around her apartment tapping her fucking Nintendo DS

    Dunno But I would like to sit around her apartment and tap that ass.
  • edited October 2007
    I like the gorilla/Phil Collins ad. No idea what its for but the build up and timing are spot on.

    Of course not knowing what is being advertised is a bit of a failure, but the ape is excellent.
  • edited October 2007
    beanz wrote: »
    Dunno But I would like to sit around her apartment and tap that ass.

    Become a famous rocker like Lenny Kravitz and your beany dream just might come true!
  • edited October 2007
    BigBadMick wrote: »
    I have to admit that I actually like the Phones 4 U adverts. The over the top characters make me laugh. :)

    Don't know what that says about my sense of humour...

    I have got a strange sense of humour but i just really really hate those adverts. Just dont laugh at them. Obviously theyre doing something different but those characters, probably because i find them a fraction disturbing ! As i said its like theyre inbreds from Deliverance or something, very strange
  • edited October 2007
    Yeah! Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

    Squeal like a pig, at Phones 4 U boy!

    Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
    hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
    hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
  • edited October 2007
    Most TV adverts are rubbish nowadays (remember the great adverts for beer and cigars, such as the "I bet he drinks Carling Black Label" ones, or the Hamlet cigar adverts), but I especially hate the adverts the Comedy Channel make to show what programs are coming up; long, tedious, and repeated almost every advertisment break. At the moment it's the pointless superimposing of stand up comics over each other with the narrator saying something like "Black, white, man, women, Austrailian" etc.

    Oh, and off the strict subject - isn't "Dave" (the new name for UK Gold 2) the worst name for a TV station ever? Although "UK Gold" isn't a particularly apt name either, as many of the programs it shows weren't made over here, and are far from being gold in quality.

    Actually, "UK Gold" should be called "The Only Fools and Horses channel", as it seems to show OFaH twenty-five hours a day. Yes, it's a great program, but we ALL know every episode off by heart now.
  • edited October 2007
    ewgf wrote: »
    (remember the great adverts for beer and cigars

    indeed.
    Happiness is a cigar called hamlet.

    I hate tobacco, but I LOVED the adverts! :razz:
  • edited October 2007
    guesser wrote: »
    indeed.
    Happiness is a cigar called hamlet.

    I hate tobacco, but I LOVED the adverts! :razz:

    The one where Russ abbott put the record player with Des o' connor greatest hits into the water where he was fishing, and all the fish started jumping out of the water into his net. It was for Hamlet I think, although it may have been Castella cigars.
    Every night is curry night!
  • edited October 2007
    The best advert ever was 'Don't forget the pancakes on Jif Lemon day'
  • edited October 2007
    Adverts like this will always be crap, it's like the 6 bladed titanium edged double hyper smooth shaver system from Gillette, is better than any other razor, well so was the one with 5 blades before it, so were they lying beforehand? Perhaps they should've said best razor you can get until we make another stupid upgrade which will make no difference and still give you a shaving rash on your neck no matter how careful you are, and we're gonna charge you 30 quid for the razor with 3 blades and an additional 15 quide for a top up pack of 3 blades which looks like it houses 5 but only has 3 in it.

    I saw an amusing Philishave advert once that started off as a pitch-perfect Gillette advert parody, proudly announcing their new 15-blade razor.
    Also what really pisses me off is HD-DVD ads, they're worse than the DVD ones. HD-DVD is perfect there are no flaws, in fact the definition and sound is so real it's unrealistic. Once again when they were saying this about regular DVDs 10 years ago were they lying? apparently you couldn't get any better than a DVD it was perfect, now here we are with something that is beyond perfect. Bollocks it's just another excuse to sell a new format which may and I MEAN may only be marginally better than the one before it. Suck my balls is what I say, there was nothing wrong with regular DVDs, if it ain't broke don't fix it, fucking gluesniffers.

    In my experience films in HD do look a lot better and sharper than DVDs on a 42" LCD. Whether the difference is worth paying ?200 for a player and replacing your existing DVD collection at ?20+ a pop is another matter though!
  • edited October 2007
    StuBruise wrote: »
    I saw an amusing Philishave advert once that started off as a pitch-perfect Gillette advert parody, proudly announcing their new 15-blade razor.

    I remember that one! An increasingly rare sighting, that - the good advert...
  • edited October 2007
    That's a good one haha!

    I remember one advert being quite disturbing when I was a kid and that was a Kinder surprise advert. It had this horrible little eggy type man (I think it was meant to be Humpty Dumpty) with beady eyes sitting on a wall. All I really remember is "OOOO Kinder" and "Chocadooby!", "Doubley Chocadooby!".

    One ad I did like isn't really that old really it was the peugeot or maybe Rover ad (could be neither), with Gene Kelly doing the robot to an electro version of Singing in the Rain. A lot of people I knew at the time thought it was sad but balls to em'.

    EDIT: Just found the Kinder ad on youtube, it's actually described as disturbing!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOFRIWx5F9c

    Sorry no time to embed have to leave for work in about 3 mins
    Every night is curry night!
  • edited October 2007
    psj3809 wrote: »
    Those adverts dont really annoy me. Cillit Bang does, i mean its just so over the top, i know theyre doing that on purpose but doesnt want me to buy it anymore.

    BUT the worst ones are Phones 4 U with those very very weird adverts with characters who should be off Deliverance.

    I mean theyre just not funny, i honestly will not buy a phone from Phones 4 U because i hate those adverts so much. I cant believe some idiots are getting paid a lot of money to make those adverts. Theyre just terrible

    Yeah! Yeaaahhh! YEEEAAAHHHHHHH! I love them adverts
  • edited October 2007
    That's a good one haha!

    I remember one advert being quite disturbing when I was a kid and that was a Kinder surprise advert. It had this horrible little eggy type man (I think it was meant to be Humpty Dumpty) with beady eyes sitting on a wall. All I really remember is "OOOO Kinder" and "Chocadooby!", "Doubley Chocadooby!".

    One ad I did like isn't really that old really it was the peugeot or maybe Rover ad (could be neither), with Gene Kelly doing the robot to an electro version of Singing in the Rain. A lot of people I knew at the time thought it was sad but balls to em'.

    EDIT: Just found the Kinder ad on youtube, it's actually described as disturbing!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOFRIWx5F9c

    Sorry no time to embed have to leave for work in about 3 mins


    Wasn't that advert for the VW Golf? I really liked it.
  • edited October 2007
    guesser wrote: »
    indeed.
    Happiness is a cigar called hamlet.

    I hate tobacco, but I LOVED the adverts! :razz:

    Ahh I remember Russ Abbot's parodies of them. They were class.


    And then there's Fly Fishing by J.R.Hartley.

    and them old Rumbelows Adverts..... Don't pay any more Misess Moor!!!
    Calling all ASCII Art Architects Visit the WOS Wall of Text and contribute: https://www.yourworldoftext.com/wos
  • edited October 2007
    I always liked the XXXX (four X) commercials.

    Snowy!!!!
    I can see the pub from 'ere!
  • edited October 2007
    Most adverts these days are a whole load of crap.
  • edited October 2007
    Most adverts these days are a whole load of crap.


    The worst one is when that bloke phones up the loan company (Picture loans I think), when he gets off the phone he says to his wife. It's nice to have an adult conversation for once.!!


    I hate those adverts where the Woman (wearing those suqare shaped glasses that shallow people wear to look sophistocated) confidently walks towards the screen from a side angle and says "Have you been hurt in an injury or fall".


    Scottie_UK.
    Calling all ASCII Art Architects Visit the WOS Wall of Text and contribute: https://www.yourworldoftext.com/wos
  • edited October 2007
    I don't think you guys have seen this one in the UK yet but...

    Dumb. What's dumber, is that the product is snake oil... Doesn't work. No way it can work, scientifically.

    /can't remember how to do the youtube tag.

    Andrew
  • edited October 2007
    /can't remember how to do the youtube tag.

    Quote a post which contains a link and it'll show you the markup:

  • edited October 2007
    Watching some of the adverts on Maltese TV trust me, even the crap UK ones are quite good. Italian ones are particularly bad.

    Just seen an advert on on old VHS tape advertising AOL at "only" ?24.95 a month for 56k dial up, half the price of the BT equivalent apparently.
  • edited October 2007
    Italian and French adverts are very dull indeed - along the lines of "Drink our wine! It's very good!". I got the impression that their free-to-air TV is around 20 years behind UK TV, culturally-speaking. Very basic, low-budget stuff. BUT! They thrive on live talking-heads-type-shows and variety shows - the sort of stuff we haven't done much of recently.

    We're basically killing our prime-time schedules by filling it up with phone-votes deciding which celebrity and members of public are doing the least-crap at whatever they're attempting. I long for the return of shows full of acts starring people who have mastered their art rather than watching a bunch of amateurs who are just appearing for the sake of getting some face-time on TV.
  • edited October 2007
    NickH wrote: »
    Italian and French adverts are very dull indeed - along the lines of "Drink our wine! It's very good!". I got the impression that their free-to-air TV is around 20 years behind UK TV, culturally-speaking. Very basic, low-budget stuff. BUT! They thrive on live talking-heads-type-shows and variety shows - the sort of stuff we haven't done much of recently.

    That's what I liked about TV in Italy... Well, that and the boobies.

    Andrew
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