Getting the snip

edited July 2008 in Chit chat
The snip snip thread just reminded me about something on my todo list.

Okay have done my bit for increasing the world's population and time to de-arm the wedding tackle.

Anyone here had it done? If so how long typically do you have to wait on the NHS. My local private hospital want £300 for it. Saying that for that price I want some pretty blonde nurse to do some manual test firings to ensure I am firing blanks. :lol:
Post edited by IN31 on
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Comments

  • edited July 2008
    just fiddle with the microwave so it turns on with the door open, and stand in front of it for half an hour. your little fellas will be belly up in no time.
  • edited July 2008
    mile wrote: »
    just fiddle with the microwave so it turns on with the door open, and stand in front of it for half an hour. your little fellas will be belly up in no time.
    I have a court order against me where I am not allowed less than 50m away from a microwave after the incident in the church hall with the microwave and the pint glass full of liver and me knob. ;)
  • edited July 2008
    Ouch ! Brings a tear to my eye !

    My mate got the snip a few months back, said it wasnt painful but sometimes theres a 'twinge'. Has to go back in a few months to give a 'sample' which they test to make sure hes sterile.

    Glad he got the snip though, his missus has tons of kids, most fertile woman i've ever known.
  • edited July 2008
    IN31 wrote: »
    I have a court order against me where I am not allowed less than 50m away from a microwave after the incident in the church hall with the microwave and the pint glass full of liver and me knob. ;)

    well then what you need to do is go and tell the police you are a sex offender and you need a chemical castration, you will jump the qeues if you grow a beard.
  • edited July 2008
    psj3809 wrote: »
    Glad he got the snip though, his missus has tons of kids, most fertile woman i've ever known.
    Bit like that Shannon Matthews mum; although techincally you need an erection for sex. No idea how those five different fathers managed it with her on the receiving end..
  • edited July 2008
    mile wrote: »
    well then what you need to do is go and tell the police you are a sex offender and you need a chemical castration, you will jump the qeues if you grow a beard.
    Sounds a good idea, probably hurts less than a set of bolt cutters on the knackers. Not sure about the beard though.
  • edited July 2008
    IN31 wrote: »
    Bit like that Shannon Matthews mum; although techincally you need an erection for sex. No idea how those five different fathers managed it with her on the receiving end..

    Sure i told you this story before. My mate was a lad in the old days, slept around, the one girl he didnt want to get pregnant he did.

    She already had 5 kids (2 different fathers) was 21, so popping out one a year, he had a kid with her. She was pregnant again (a 7th) but lost the baby , in the end he had the snip.

    Shes soooo fertile, 6 kids, 3 different fathers, now aged 23. Fair play to my mate for looking after the kids, works crazy hours and now dont see him much but hes taken on his responsibility big time. But damn, 6 kids !!!
  • edited July 2008
    psj3809 wrote: »
    Shes soooo fertile, 6 kids, 3 different fathers, now aged 23.
    omg! :o

    Saying that a cousin popped his cherry with this ugly fat bird and they are not married with two kids. There is no justice and he is into computers big time so a woman rather than the toilet/sock being on the receiving end must have been a big thing ;-)

    His grandmother did drop her self in it the other day when asking her how many months pregnant she was.
  • edited July 2008
    No, thank you very much! :)
  • edited July 2008
    IN31 wrote: »
    His grandmother did drop her self in it the other day when asking her how many months pregnant she was.

    Ha ha that must have been embarassing. You see it in comedy programs where someone says to a large girl 'congrats' kinda thing and she evils them as she isnt pregnant.

    That was my fear in my 20's, getting a girl pregnant, luckily never happened (not that i'm aware !)
  • edited July 2008
    i find the whole thing quite scary, my bird is at that age where if she doesn't have kids soon it will be too late. she isn't trying to steal my DNA, but i know she wants them, but the thing is i don't know if i want any with her. i feel like i am holding her back, and messing her around, thats not to say i wont stay with her, but she hasn't got long.

    i was once with a girl who tried to get pregnant off me, she let me do it without a johnny, then sort of curled up on her back. i would have loved to have got a kid off her as i was madly in love with her, but it turns out she couldn't have kids, so she dumped me, the fucking cunt.

    my dad had the snip, after accidently getting my mum pregnant with me, lucky thing he didn't do it before or id have been born dead or something.
  • edited July 2008
    I was okay on first two sexual encounters that did not involve Kleenex.

    First time was a journalist at work who had a problem with her electrics at home. I went round, checked it all out then we ended up on the sofa and she kissed me and stuck her hand down me pants. She then said 'Do you have a condom?'...now building up to this I did have a condom but then learnt about posh wanks..:lol: I did not want to complicate matters so just said no.

    Second time was with my now missus and due to sampling too many imported beers before touchdown could not make the old chap fire..
  • edited July 2008
    IN31 wrote: »
    I was okay on first two sexual encounters that did not involve Kleenex.

    First time was a journalist at work who had a problem with her electrics at home. I went round, checked it all out then we ended up on the sofa and she kissed me and stuck her hand down me pants. She then said 'Do you have a condom?'...now building up to this I did have a condom but then learnt about posh wanks..:lol: I did not want to complicate matters so just said no.

    Second time was with my now missus and due to sampling too many imported beers before touchdown could not make the old chap fire..

    ive only used a johnny twice in my life, once was with a religious chick and the other was with a pro. the rest of the time they were either on the pill or i just emtied my mess on their tummys. bit worried about STD's now though.
  • edited July 2008
    No one seems to want to tell this young lad what its like so here goes (no shame me).

    We managed to convince our doctor to refer us to get it done on the NHS. I believe this is quite hard to pull off (snigger). If you can afford to go private then I would recommend it as the NHS clinic I ended up in we were like herded cattle all awaiting the proceedure.

    The act itself... well, the most unfortunate bit is when the doctor has a go at feeling where the tubes and balls are... I don't have a problem with doctors touching my balls but he was squeezing them around and I found this rather painful. The injection is nothing... just a tiny prick (even more sniggering). After its gone numb you just imagine him making a little slit with his Airfix tools and there was a little sizzle as the tube was cut and sealed. Even if the doctor/nurse looks like one of Girls Aloud you wont get a stiffy. I promise you.

    I left five minutes later feeling like I could climb everest. No sweat. Yes they do ask you to squirt stuff in a test tube and send it back but I ignored the letters. Some people swell up afterwards for a few days but no pain or anything, just a bit uncomfortable. And I have to say that now and again, the small scar can hurt like anything if you scratch it, and who doesn't scratch the old nads now and again.

    Go for it, your sex life will improve for various reasons :)

    Fisr person to call me Jaffa gets it.
  • edited July 2008
    I've sometimes wondered wtf we would talk about if all of us WoSsers were to meet face to face ... I mean, we've discussed so many varied crazy/inane/normal/abnormal things ... what's next? I think that's the great thing about WoS ... it's better than Lost (which I've never seen but supposedly keeps you guessing), The X-Files (which never really gives you the punch line but what a great story of aliens and whatnots), Dad Ted (lotsa humour) and the rest of the TV shows put together ... WoS, it's must see TV.

    We'd probably just drink our beers and actually talk about the Speccy.
  • edited July 2008
    No one seems to want to tell this young lad what its like so here goes (no shame me).

    We managed to convince our doctor to refer us to get it done on the NHS. I believe this is quite hard to pull off (snigger). If you can afford to go private then I would recommend it as the NHS clinic I ended up in we were like herded cattle all awaiting the proceedure.

    The act itself... well, the most unfortunate bit is when the doctor has a go at feeling where the tubes and balls are... I don't have a problem with doctors touching my balls but he was squeezing them around and I found this rather painful. The injection is nothing... just a tiny prick (even more sniggering). After its gone numb you just imagine him making a little slit with his Airfix tools and there was a little sizzle as the tube was cut and sealed. Even if the doctor/nurse looks like one of Girls Aloud you wont get a stiffy. I promise you.

    I left five minutes later feeling like I could climb everest. No sweat. Yes they do ask you to squirt stuff in a test tube and send it back but I ignored the letters. Some people swell up afterwards for a few days but no pain or anything, just a bit uncomfortable. And I have to say that now and again, the small scar can hurt like anything if you scratch it, and who doesn't scratch the old nads now and again.

    Go for it, your sex life will improve for various reasons :)

    Fisr person to call me Jaffa gets it.

    Hi Jaffa :-)

    No, no, down boy, down ... aim it in the cup and send it to the nice people at the NHS, don't give it to me.
  • edited July 2008
    wouldn't it be easier to get the woman you are with get her tubes tied? i don't want no underpaid doctor fiddling with my love eggs.
  • edited July 2008
    Can we stop talking about having yer' Knackers nullified, I've gone weak at the knees just thinking about it.

    It's making Boozey Woozie :D

    I remember that loopy German guy on that human body program cutting the scrote open and lopping one of the bollocks in half with his big scalpel. First time it was on I was OK. The second time I watched the same show it was a repeat my wife was watching when she was staying with me in England.

    Even though I'd already seen it and was fine, watching it a second time put me on a whitey :(
    Every night is curry night!
  • edited July 2008
    A ferret down the trousers is far cheaper and quicker.
  • edited July 2008
    A ferret down the trousers is far cheaper and quicker.

    Are you volunteering? :lol:
    Every night is curry night!
  • edited July 2008
    Fisr person to call me Jaffa gets it.

    Or some liquid approximating it but with less mobility.
  • edited July 2008
    A ferret down the trousers is far cheaper and quicker.
    Are you volunteering? :lol:

    You saying Mr. Mongers, C. is a ferret??? :-?

    And how do you know this? :-P
  • edited July 2008
    You can do it like lambs are castrated - just tie an elastic band around the goolies and after a week or two they fall off!
  • edited July 2008
    Winston wrote: »
    You can do it like lambs are castrated - just tie an elastic band around the goolies and after a week or two they fall off!

    Two big bricks approaching each other at high velocities ... there's your answer!

    ;-)
  • edited July 2008
    ZnorXman wrote: »
    Two big bricks approaching each other at high velocities ... there's your answer!

    ;-)

    Doesn't hurt at all, as long as you don't get your thumb between the bricks.:o:o
  • edited July 2008
    ZnorXman wrote: »
    Two big bricks approaching each other at high velocities ... there's your answer!

    ;-)

    Just reading that makes me go weak !
  • edited July 2008
    psj3809 wrote: »
    Just reading that makes me go weak !

    I usually get that response from women. Thank you Pauline ;-)
  • edited July 2008
    ZnorXman wrote: »
    I usually get that response from women. Thank you Pauline ;-)

    Ha ha very good !
  • RNDRND
    edited July 2008
    I can come along with my hedge trimmer if you like...
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  • edited July 2008
    IN31 wrote: »
    The snip snip thread just reminded me about something on my todo list.

    Okay have done my bit for increasing the world's population and time to de-arm the wedding tackle.

    Anyone here had it done? If so how long typically do you have to wait on the NHS. My local private hospital want ?300 for it. Saying that for that price I want some pretty blonde nurse to do some manual test firings to ensure I am firing blanks. :lol:

    I had it done, make sure you take a week or so off afterwards as it hurts like f*** post op. I went with Marie Stopes and it was only had to wait a month, can't remember the price but was probably less than ?300.

    It was really embarrassing having the nurse keep taking about 'ejaculation', but worst was went the doc told me to drop my kecks and lie down. Then this nurse gets on a tennis umpires chair so she could 'observe'!!!

    Of course I then left my wife, got a younger girlfriend and had the reversal, which luckily was under general anaesthetic, but set me back ?2k.

    So the moral I suppose is that you really need to think long and hard (oo-er) before you have it done!
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