Ive been thinking...............

edited April 2009 in Chit chat
nope dont worry, im not having a rubberkeys moment
(hmmm in fact maybe thats why hes in the doo doo, not thinking)

anyway

you know when people have to scrape up the doggy doo from their doggy thats done its doo?

all good and well.....when its solid, but if the dog has the squits how do you scrape that into a bag?

small plastic shovelly thing?
straw? lol ahem.............errrrrrrrrm please dont ban me, that last bit as a bit erk
Post edited by mel the bell on
Professional Mel-the-Bell Simulator................"So realistic, I found myself reaching for the Kleenex King-Size!" - Richard Darling

Comments

  • edited April 2009
    Hand-held vacuum cleaner?
  • edited April 2009
    stefrobb wrote: »
    Hand-held vacuum cleaner?

    heh i have a small usb one, bit too small tho would be lucky to suck up a yorkie terrier turd let alone a great dane one
    Professional Mel-the-Bell Simulator................"So realistic, I found myself reaching for the Kleenex King-Size!" - Richard Darling
  • edited April 2009
    The evening chronicle, believe me I was walking the mutts with my ma one day, and one of them had been eating something it shouldn't have and sprayed the pavement of the main road near where I live at about 5 in the afternoon.

    I had to stand there next to this semi-liquid pile of steaming doggy doos, while my ma went into the nearest paper shop and bought a chronicle, then she put on a disposible glove from her pocket and mopped the shite up with the newspaper. Much to the amusement of several passers by.

    Needless to say I never walked the mutts with her again after that, I felt like a right bellend. I wouldn't care I was about 22 years old at the time, and I was only doing her a favour walking the dogs with her. I fucking hated the one that shat on the pavement, the little bastard probably saved it up knowing he could embarress me.

    Well they say Karma is harmfull and I got mine, I know the little hairball got a neck full of pink liquid via a needle, you know the stuff that has a skull n' crossbones on the bottle.

    basically the little turd was out of control, my ma worked, my stepdad went out drinking all day, and my gran was left at home with it and couldn't cope because it was bloody beserk, so we rehomed it, but the stupid gits rehomed a boisterous puppy with an attitude problem to an elderly couple in their 80's. Within hours of being at their house it had bit one of them on the face. My ma's friend said since it was a pack/hunting dog it was going to obedience classes. I think she said this to spare my ma's feelings as I think we all know it was in a black plastic bag in the bottom of a vets freezer within an hour of the incident occuring.

    No skin off my nose, it was the first dog I was glad to see the back of, it was a little shit, and that's saying something considering the border collie that latched onto me and scarred my face for life when I was 4 years old I forgave. I really didn't want it to go to the vets, because I knew what was going to happen to it.

    My ma told me it had went back to the farm it came from (obviously forgetting that the reason we got it in the first place was the farmer didn't want it and got caught with it in a bucket of lukewarm water). I may have been 4 years old but I wasn't stupid, I knew exactly what the vets did to bad little doggies.

    Anyway life of dogs aside newspapers clean sloppy dog fraps up pretty well, if you can stand the embarressment (and the smell) :D
    Every night is curry night!
  • edited April 2009
    Well now we know what brings out the author in boozy....he sure can talk some shit.
  • edited April 2009
    beanz wrote: »
    Well now we know what brings out the author in boozy....he sure can talk some shit.
    thats geordies for yer
    Professional Mel-the-Bell Simulator................"So realistic, I found myself reaching for the Kleenex King-Size!" - Richard Darling
  • edited April 2009
    Fuck the pair of yer' :p
    Every night is curry night!
  • edited April 2009
    ...
    all good and well.....when its solid, but if the dog has the squits how do you scrape that into a bag?

    small plastic shovelly thing?
    straw? lol ahem.............errrrrrrrrm please dont ban me, that last bit as a bit erk

    How about small portable pressure washer?
  • edited April 2009
    Anyway...how does one locate white dog poop in a snow storm?
  • edited April 2009
    beanz wrote: »
    Anyway...how does one locate white dog poop in a snow storm?

    Just keep walking around eating snow.....you'll find it eventually........

    Why would you want to anyway???
    "I should use simulator loosely 'cos I don't think it's quite like this on the beach with helicopters and fires and the jumping beach buggy" - paulisthebest3uk 2020.
  • edited April 2009
    alanspec wrote: »

    Why would you want to anyway???

    Oh..erm....
  • edited April 2009
    The real white variety I remember from the 80's doesn't exist any more anyway does it?? (it's sooooo retro :) )
    Maybe dog food used to have some funky stuff in it that made white ones??

    I've not seen a proper "chalky" one for years(not that I ever encounter that kind of thing anymore anyway - between my front door, my car and work.........I need to get out more......)
    "I should use simulator loosely 'cos I don't think it's quite like this on the beach with helicopters and fires and the jumping beach buggy" - paulisthebest3uk 2020.
  • edited April 2009
    thats geordies for yer

    You know what, you fuckin' started this thread with talk of dog shite, and you've got the nerve.......ooo mister yee divvent knaa wot yer' on aboot yer daft cunt :D
    Every night is curry night!
  • edited April 2009
    Always pick up after my dog as its the right thing to do (plus hes blind so i dont want him stepping in it the next day !)

    Took him to the beach once, he drank loads of saltwater, 10 mins later it was like mr whippy as it just poured out (sorry !). Didnt have a chance to pick it up, impossible, used some water from my bottle to try and wash it away but nothing else i could do so did feel guilty.

    Theres your answer !
  • edited April 2009
    alanspec wrote: »
    The real white variety I remember from the 80's doesn't exist any more anyway does it?? (it's sooooo retro :) )
    Maybe dog food used to have some funky stuff in it that made white ones??

    I've not seen a proper "chalky" one for years(not that I ever encounter that kind of thing anymore anyway - between my front door, my car and work.........I need to get out more......)

    The white variety was everywhere when I was a kid (in the 40's) but it was only a few years ago I read somewhere that the colour was due to the amount of calcium in the diet - mostly due to the bones they ate. And, back then (and in the 50's), it seemed every dog I saw was chewing a bone.

    And, of course, if you could wrestle it off them, we had soup that day.:smile:
  • edited April 2009
    when i used to walk the dog it'd always shit in a bush or something. i never picked its turds up, i mean if your dumb enough to jump in a bush you deserve to get covered in shit.
  • edited April 2009
    Little Hal wrote: »

    And, of course, if you could wrestle it off them, we had soup that day.:smile:

    if you can wrestle the dog, have dog soup, fuck the bone, while your at it, sloppy turd in the soup too :)

    yum
    Professional Mel-the-Bell Simulator................"So realistic, I found myself reaching for the Kleenex King-Size!" - Richard Darling
  • edited April 2009
    mile wrote: »
    when i used to walk the dog it'd always shit in a bush or something. i never picked its turds up, i mean if your dumb enough to jump in a bush you deserve to get covered in shit.
    dude, dogs dont crap in bushes, thats birds...bit of a difference
    Professional Mel-the-Bell Simulator................"So realistic, I found myself reaching for the Kleenex King-Size!" - Richard Darling
  • edited April 2009
    dude, dogs dont crap in bushes, thats birds...bit of a difference

    Tells a lot about the women you've dated...
    [/karingal]
  • edited April 2009
    My old dog (a massive rotty called "Kali") sicked up a starfish in the back of a taxi once.

    We'd been walking on the beach that day.

    She could shit where she wanted, and no one ever complained. And lived.
  • edited April 2009
    frobush wrote: »
    My old dog (a massive rotty called "Kali") sicked up a starfish in the back of a taxi once.

    We'd been walking on the beach that day.

    She could shit where she wanted, and no one ever complained. And lived.

    Did the cabdriver complain?
    (you always leave out the juicy stuff ... errrrrrrrrrrrr)
  • edited April 2009
    ZnorXman wrote: »
    Did the cabdriver complain?
    (you always leave out the juicy stuff ... errrrrrrrrrrrr)

    Yes. But what was he gunna do?
  • edited April 2009
    frobush wrote: »
    Yes. But what was he gunna do?

    Make you clean it up??? (notice the extra two question marks, this is an indicator that this is truly a question in the form of a hypothetical past-tense action exerted upon you, the guardian of aforementioned starfish-up-chucking canine)

    Rub your dog's nose in it ... then yours?
  • edited April 2009
    ZnorXman wrote: »
    Make you clean it up??? (notice the extra two question marks, this is an indicator that this is truly a question in the form of a hypothetical past-tense action exerted upon you, the guardian of aforementioned starfish-up-chucking canine)

    Rub your dog's nose in it ... then yours?

    I'd like to see him try!

    I kicked the offending matter out of the door when we reached home. It was still pretty much solid.
  • edited April 2009
    Little Hal wrote: »
    The white variety was everywhere when I was a kid (in the 40's) but it was only a few years ago I read somewhere that the colour was due to the amount of calcium in the diet - mostly due to the bones they ate. And, back then (and in the 50's)

    We've found someone older than Karingal..
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