Present from my one night stand woman...(clap)
Was originally told by doc that my problems down below were a urine infection which will clear up after 5 days...guess what it did not...
*Fires up Google and checks symptoms*
Arse..
Makes appointment with sexual health clinic and one swab down the willy later (which effing hurts) and it turns out she gave me something special to remember her :-(
All unhappy parties now on course of Doxycycline...
*Fires up Google and checks symptoms*
Arse..
Makes appointment with sexual health clinic and one swab down the willy later (which effing hurts) and it turns out she gave me something special to remember her :-(
All unhappy parties now on course of Doxycycline...
Post edited by IN31 on
Comments
Give this man [strike]the clap[/strike] a round of applause... :p
I wouldn't touch him with a barge pole!
What would you use then?
You wait in reception with other shifty looking people all knowing why each other is there but don't make eye contact.
Initial checkup with nurse (who was a great laugh)...
N - Why are you here?
Me - One night stand tip of penis hurts
(Various questions on sexual habits)
N - Okay lay on bed and drop your trousers and pants
(Assume position)
Nurse then open end of willy and has a look
N - Yes, I can see a discharg....
(Before she finished a swab was sent down my willy hole)
Me - OWWWWWWW!
Me - You could have warned me!
N - I have warned men before and some of them legged it so I decided surprise was the best approach..
Me - Thanks! Ow..Ow...Ow...
N - Now give me a urine sample in this bottle and yes it will hurt...
Me in toilet - Aiming a beaten old chap at a small bottle...ow...ow...ow..
(Nurse goes next door and examines swab under microscope)
N - You have an infection and need to be treated
They then give you tablets and a blood test and have a chat with a councilor to make sure you fully understand what has happened, etc.
Actually, thinking about it - a barge would be quite good!
But I'd probably just shoot him.
And bad as this is IN31, it (an STD) is still a much better result than the other two troubles, pregnancy and AIDS.
Anyway, I hope you get better soon, mate. And I hope even more strongly that I never have to go through that. *shudder*.
You leave my wife out of this!
She's had enough!
We are all married! Let's be married together!
Kisses and hugs!
Do you have a hole?
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Once again, WOS nearly killed my laptop - this time it would've been a mouthful of Miller........but I managed to keep it in this time and it managed to squirm it's way around my mouth and throat very painfully instead of flying out of my mouth.
STDs are one of those kind of things that seem to have no purpose other than to piss you off - mother nature at her worst.
Roy Chubbie Brown:
"You know the trouble I've been having with my minge?? The doctors finally got it licked!"
No, really I am. :)
[Edits: Shit - all gone quiet...]
- IONIAN-GAMES.com -
later I went to my doctor (who is a cousin of mine) and he told me how irresponsible I had been (and he was right...).
but I can tell you, those hours before the results came out where long and painful...
So it's like an open marriage?
...or open sore?
Hope you didn't pass it on to your missus.
Else you really will be in the shit then.....
A la Richie from Bottom.
IN31 hope you get to keep yer wiener ... and wife.
Just read this out loud so we could all enjoy it. Great post.
If she's got clap I'm sure she won't offer that as a low risk alternative. She'll be too 'irritated'.
Better that if I did not say anything and came home one day and said 'I shagged that woman round the corner and she has given me a dose and you, her and her husband need to make an appointment'. Sort of ruins the evening...
This sort of things can make or break a marriage but surprising this has made us stronger. I fucked up..it will never happen again.