Top Tips!

2

Comments

  • edited May 2009
    Oh yeah?

    No chance!
  • edited May 2009
    It's easy to steal his ID, isn't it!
  • edited May 2009
    Oi! Stop it!
  • edited May 2009
    top tip.

    instead of whiskey on your cornflakes, try milk. you will seem less disorientated come lunchtime.
  • edited May 2009
    Do you like gambling? Buy something off eBay.
  • edited May 2009
    When you have just had a pooh and are wiping your bum - don't sneeze and try and blow your nose.
  • edited May 2009
    frobush wrote: »
    When you have just had a pooh and are wiping your bum - don't sneeze and try and blow your nose.

    HA HA!

    That one is funny ... I think I might even tell my mother this joke ... she laughs at poojokes.
  • edited May 2009
    frobush wrote: »
    When you have just had a pooh and are wiping your bum - don't sneeze and try and blow your nose.

    When you are having a poo don't wipe your ass at all get one of these!!

    Boozefreak.jpg


    :lol:
    Calling all ASCII Art Architects Visit the WOS Wall of Text and contribute: https://www.yourworldoftext.com/wos
  • edited May 2009
    Feeling hungy when behind the wheel? Forget McDonals, Burger King or Flame Grilled Burgers. Once you have tried a delicious exhaust smoked burger there is no going back!
    exhaustburger-burger-cooked-by-using-heat-from-car-exhaust-pipe-130208.jpg
    Calling all ASCII Art Architects Visit the WOS Wall of Text and contribute: https://www.yourworldoftext.com/wos
  • edited May 2009
    Scottie_uk wrote: »
    When you are having a poo don't wipe your ass at all get one of these!!

    http://www.scottieuk.plus.com/Boozefreak.jpg


    :lol:

    that looks like the guy from boozefreeks avatar, in fact you've named the file boozefreak. :)
  • edited May 2009
    It is an amended pic to have boozy's head on. The original from Viz back in the late 80s had a different head.
  • edited May 2009
    Scottie_uk wrote: »
    When you are having a poo don't wipe your ass at all get one of these!!
    :lol:

    Oi you bastard! That's the second time you've posted that up :D
    Every night is curry night!
  • edited May 2009
    When being a bastard, post the same top tip twice.
  • edited May 2009
    frobush wrote: »
    When being a bastard, post the same top tip twice.

    When being a bastard, post the same top tip twice.
  • edited May 2009
    When changing your Avatar, make sure it looks like you have tits, or are resting your chin on someone's arse. Or both.
  • edited May 2009
    Stop insects crawling over your monitor on hot summer nights.

    Put brightly coloured images of yellow and black bugs on your desktop. In the insect world yellow and black spells danger. Your monitor will scare the insects away.
    Calling all ASCII Art Architects Visit the WOS Wall of Text and contribute: https://www.yourworldoftext.com/wos
  • zx1zx1
    edited May 2009
    When taking a leak always shake your willy when finished, otherwise you'll end up with a damp leg!
    The trouble with tribbles is.......
  • edited May 2009
    When taking a leak, and are a woman, don't bother to try shaking your willy when finished.
  • edited May 2009
    When I'm taking a leak, and you're a woman with nothing to do, come and shake my willy. It's a great way to spend 1 and a half minutes and meet people.
  • edited May 2009
    When having a pooh in a public toilet, make sure you take this chart with you so you can tell the people outside exactly what you did.

    350px-Bristol_Stool_Chart.png
  • edited May 2009
    I just love the descriptions on that thing :lol:
    Every night is curry night!
  • edited May 2009
    I just love the descriptions on that thing :lol:

    They actually use this in hospitals. Apparently, (from another forum about someone's stay in care) on someone's notes at the end of the bed, it said "Number 4 - it was massive!".

    EDIT - and it might be where the phase "7 types of sh*t" comes from - as in "I kicked 7 types of sh*t out of him!"
  • edited May 2009
    frobush wrote: »
    They actually use this in hospitals. Apparently, (from another forum about someone's stay in care) on someone's notes at the end of the bed, it said "Number 4 - it was massive!".

    EDIT - and it might be where the phase "7 types of sh*t" comes from - as in "I kicked 7 types of sh*t out of him!"

    Ah, those Bristoolians have too much time on their hands.
  • edited May 2009
    Top Tip #162(b)
    When farting in the presence of others:

    funny-dog-pictures-casual-farted.jpg
  • edited May 2009
    After insulting someone, don't apologize. Make things right by going around the world insulting everyone else instead.
  • edited May 2009
    frobush wrote: »
    After insulting someone, don't apologize. Make things right by going around the world insulting everyone else instead.

    Kinda reminds me of that one guy who did that one thing ... you know ... he lived forever and then he got bored with it, traveled around the universe and systematically slapped people in the face.
  • edited May 2009
    frobush wrote: »
    When having a pooh in a public toilet, make sure you take this chart with you so you can tell the people outside exactly what you did.

    350px-Bristol_Stool_Chart.png


    That's the wrong chart. Here, corrected

    BSS.jpg
  • edited May 2009
    ZnorXman wrote: »
    Kinda reminds me of that one guy who did that one thing ... you know ... he lived forever and then he got bored with it, traveled around the universe and systematically slapped people in the face.

    Yeah, it was in one of the "Hitchiker's Guide To The Galaxy" novels. There was also another bloke who was, unbeknownst to him, a rain God, and it was constantly raining everywhere he went.
  • edited May 2009
  • edited May 2009
    Yep! That's it! How did you get a copy of my TV advertisment?

    LOL!

    Why does one bowl have the word "CAT" written on it? Can your pets read?
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