› ›

Interfering Mother-In-Law

-RubberKeys--RubberKeys-
edited May 2010 in Chit chat
My mother in law is pissing me off!

I say mother in law im not married lol

The baby's birthday is coming up (he's 1) and all I wanted was a little shindig, with immediate family and close friends....nice little cake and take sum pic's...maybe get some beer from asda/sainsburys etc.. 2 for ?18...

Well, now her bloody mother has got a gazebo and going to hire a bouncy castle for kids etc...also invited the whole fuckin tribe drown from up north (auntie,uncle,cat,dog's)...and have the "party" round her place!

My mrs won't stand up to her, she does what ever she tells her....

Seriously spec-chums, she is pissing me off...why does she have to get involved? its got fuck all to do with her...it's my child/son...NOT HERS!!!

Oh yeah, and she expects me to pay for the food (presume bbq shit)...

Me and the mrs have just had a right bost up over it....

"Well, you go and tell her then......" she says

"I'LL FUCKIN TELL HER, WITH A FUCKIN BAT ACROSS HER HEAD!" my response

Slammed the door, not cooking me no dinner now!

Why do m.i.l's have to do this!!!

UPDATE - And now she has just fooked off out with little man and her sister and said...."text me when you have stopped being a twat!"

WTF! Pub time!
Post edited by -RubberKeys- on
«1

Comments

  • grey keygrey key
    edited May 2010
    Put a bin on your head, grab a mop, and bounce up and down as if you are riding a horse, oh right sorry, you were already doing that and it didn`t work !

    Scare the MIL by asking if the indemnity insurance policy is in place, for the bouncy castle hire, if they can`t show you a valid copy, then you are lable to pay for one yourself. This can cost several thousands of pounds, also it is reccommended that you have a qualified first aid responder available. It won`t stop her, but it might put the message over to her that she is far from in control.
    Every time I read that the oldest person in the world has died, I have to do a quick check to see it isn't ME..........
  • fogfog
    edited May 2010
    your mrs is caught in the middle.. as much as if she said something OFF about your parents.. you might chuck a wobbly.

    only thing is, such agro can escalate and causes a rift and the one who loses out is your kid / their grand kid.

    I would have words with your mother-in-law.. allow it this time, but tell her you didn't ask for it.. and if you wanna organise something for YOUR kid, then YOU will in future... as much as it's a nice gesture, you married her daughter and not her.

    ask her for the list on ligger on's... and then you know how much ... beer is cheap , meat is the main cost... and get ya self off to costco / makro etc or that other place.. cash n carry.

    I would say, YOU invited x-y-z YOU pay for em.. simple as..

    if you carry on, it'll make you out to be the bad guy? see? . but let her know NOT to assume things in future. You have to be diplomatic...because if your not, m-i-l will give the old "you could have married xyz.. I never really liked him" lol

    my friend was CHRONICALLY slagged off by his girlfriends mum years ago, and he's one of my best mates.. ffs... anyway ... a year or so after they split she hinted I should ask her out.... I said, no fear...1) I don't date mates ex's.. and 2) your ma would is too firey

    but I would allow it this once, because all that happen will you will look like a 5-h-1-t head and she'll bring it up for the next 25-50 years every time you have a family do.

    trick is to be appreciative BUT also say that although your part of kids etc life... that in future it creates aggravation and you could have / might have arranged something and because of the assumption it causes more hassle

    p.s. what time does it start ? *cough* gate crash :D *cough*

    edit : hehe about health n safety.. oh the joys of a litigious society
  • MinerWillyMinerWilly
    edited May 2010
    -RubberKeys- wrote: »
    My mother in law is pissing me off!

    Welcome to the club! :-P

    You have to stand up to her tough, if you don't then it will only get worse up to the point that she thinks she can dictate EVERYTHING about the upbringings of your children and you have none to say about it. Tell her if she want to keep a big party for your son then she pay for it herself.
  • mel the bellmel the bell
    edited May 2010
    its cos she no longer gets a hard shagging

    errrrrm
    Professional Mel-the-Bell Simulator................"So realistic, I found myself reaching for the Kleenex King-Size!" - Richard Darling
  • MinerWillyMinerWilly
    edited May 2010
    I have come to the conclusion myself that zero tolerance with the dragonb*tch is the only way. I found out early on that being nice will only make her taking even more rights and she will still moan about me to my wife.
  • MinerWillyMinerWilly
    edited May 2010
    mel the bell wrote: »
    its cos she no longer gets a hard shagging

    errrrrm

    Well she's a M.I.L not a M.I.L.F
  • dm_boozefreekdm_boozefreek
    edited May 2010
    My mother in law is really nice and doesn't interfere with my life at all, I do know she secretly thinks I'm a loser though, and not good enough for her daughter. Somebody let it slip when I was in earshot (possibly on purpose) :roll:

    If she ever says that to me though I'll just say to her "Says the woman who married an alchoholic redneck with 3 broken marriages behind him, a gaggle of kids, some of which he probably doesn't even know about, and can't keep a drivers license for more than 3 months at a time cos' he's always pissed behind the wheel".

    He's friendly enough but I've met root vegtables with more intelligence
    Every night is curry night!
  • mel the bellmel the bell
    edited May 2010
    damn i just read this thread title as interfering with the mother in law....i am now officially sick :(
    Professional Mel-the-Bell Simulator................"So realistic, I found myself reaching for the Kleenex King-Size!" - Richard Darling
  • thehivethehive
    edited May 2010
    Mmmmm. As has been said, your missus is in the middle. You do come across as being a little petulant over this - there has to be some give and take, and you have to respect your missus's feelings - which clearly are quite strong, else why would she leave the house with her sister?
    Give a little mate.
  • MinerWillyMinerWilly
    edited May 2010
    thehive wrote: »
    Mmmmm. As has been said, your missus is in the middle. You do come across as being a little petulant over this - there has to be some give and take, and you have to respect your missus's feelings - which clearly are quite strong, else why would she leave the house with her sister?
    Give a little mate.

    I think he's right to be angry about it. Shouldn't he have been consulted before he's m.i.l went ahead and planned something like that? How can he's m.i.l even expect him to pay for a part of it, can she even be sure he can afford it?
  • Dave FountainDave Fountain
    edited May 2010
    If she is the Mothers Mum then she does that have emotive connection that say your Mum doesn't feel in the exactly same way, so she will feel she has more of a say. But I'm in agreement with you here in so much as its you and your missus' shout on how you want to do things and how much you want to spend. It's a case of walking on eggshells and being diplomatic and knowing that your Mother-in-Law is going to feel like she has a great deal to say, you just have to speak to her and explain things and to ask her kindly to let you organise things. Looks easy written down doesn't it :D Best of luck with it. You'd be surprised how often this happens within families.
  • joefishjoefish
    edited May 2010
    Your missus told you to go and tell her - that's exactly what you should have done, but not by losing your rag. It should be obvious she's scared of standing up to her mother, though she's unlikely to admit it. She probably doesn't want to break all ties with her family, which is understandable.

    It'd be a big help to have supportive grandparents to help with childcare. The old bat obviously wants to do something for the kid so maybe you could work out a way she can contribute without either (a) taking over or (b) shutting her out completely. It sounds like you think she wants (a) and you want (b), and neither of you are going to get it. And I doubt your missus wants either.

    So you both need to map out the middle ground, but you have to get your missus to help instead of blaming her for her mother's behaviour.
    Joefish
    - IONIAN-GAMES.com -
  • Scottie_ukScottie_uk
    edited May 2010
    I'd just apologise to the wife, go to the party and have a really good time socialising with Family members that I have not seen in a while.

    I think sometimes with such things one can contemplate them too much and end up winding them selves up over nothing. Just enjoy it and have a good time with your child. You are much better off with a MIL that cares than one that does not give a damn. She may perceive you as ungrateful, even though that is not the case, it will make tensions worse. So just enjoy it.
    Calling all ASCII Art Architects Visit the WOS Wall of Text and contribute: https://www.yourworldoftext.com/wos
  • rich_chandlerrich_chandler
    edited May 2010
    Better off being like me and having a dead MIL, burying her was the happiest day of my life...
    I wanna tell you a story 'bout a woman I know...
  • psj3809psj3809
    edited May 2010
    Scottie_uk wrote: »
    I'd just apologise to the wife, go to the party and have a really good time socialising with Family members that I have not seen in a while.

    I think sometimes with such things one can contemplate them too much and end up winding them selves up over nothing. Just enjoy it and have a good time with your child. You are much better off with a MIL that cares than one that does not give a damn. She may perceive you as ungrateful, even though that is not the case, it will make tensions worse. So just enjoy it.

    I agree, at the moment the argument is over a small/large party for the kids 1 year birthday. Mother in laws tend to fuss over a lot with grandkids, i wouldnt spend tons (the nipper isnt exactly going to remember it !) but its a good way to get family together, get a fair few presents for the little one etc.

    Not worth falling out about or having a tourettes rampage about it ! At least she wants to make a fuss, could be much worse the other way round like she doesnt care at all.
  • milemile
    edited May 2010
    karingal wrote: »
    Better off being like me and having a dead MIL, burying her was the happiest day of my life...

    also the new patio makes a great place to sit in the sun. :p
  • Scottie_ukScottie_uk
    edited May 2010
    mile wrote: »
    also the new patio makes a great place to sit in the sun. :p
    Tut, :rolleyes:
    When I read Karingal's post I thought the odds of the word patio being typed within the next hour were pretty strong.
    Calling all ASCII Art Architects Visit the WOS Wall of Text and contribute: https://www.yourworldoftext.com/wos
  • grey keygrey key
    edited May 2010
    karingal wrote: »
    Better off being like me and having a dead MIL, burying her was the happiest day of my life...

    Yes but she was still alive at the time, so I can understand it !

    You didn`t stay gone long, was that what you have been doing in the meantime ?
    Every time I read that the oldest person in the world has died, I have to do a quick check to see it isn't ME..........
  • milemile
    edited May 2010
    Scottie_uk wrote: »
    Tut, :rolleyes:
    When I read Karingal's post I thought the odds of the word patio being typed within the next hour were pretty strong.

    aye, coronation street has a lot to answer for. :p

    (i think it was corrie anyway, or some soap where one of the leads burried someone under the patio. or it might have been fred west.)
  • MrCheeseMrCheese
    edited May 2010
    karingal wrote: »
    Better off being like me and having a dead MIL, burying her was the happiest day of my life...

    Is that an admission of guilt? :-o
  • joefishjoefish
    edited May 2010
    mile wrote: »
    aye, coronation street has a lot to answer for. :p
    (i think it was corrie anyway, or some soap where one of the leads burried someone under the patio. or it might have been fred west.)
    Coronation Street does indeed have a hell of a lot to answer for (not least of which is making me snigger whenever I hear someone mention 'Aloe Vera', even though I've tried my damnest to avoid ever seeing an episode), but I think it was Brookside with the lezzers and the body-under-the-patio. But you'll probably find most viewers too dumb to remember they even wasted their time with Brookie and will happily attach it to whatever they saw half an hour ago. They probably think that's where Ant & Dec started by now...
    Joefish
    - IONIAN-GAMES.com -
  • psj3809psj3809
    edited May 2010
    Hey come on !

    Brookside in its heyday was good ! All the stereotypes i had of scousers were all true, perms, 'eh? eh? eh?' and saying stuff that most people couldnt understand
  • beanzbeanz
    edited May 2010
    Put you foot down man...you let them get away with it once and that's how it will be until the end of time.
  • psj3809psj3809
    edited May 2010
    But again its not the worst thing in the world. Its her grandsons first birthday, shes making a huge effort so you cant really knock her for that. Surely you could say to her 'i havent got enough money to pay for food/drinks for all these extra people...' and she should surely chip in ?

    I'm glad the mother in law is 'interfering' as she bought us a new pram this week ready for the arrival of psj3809 jnr in a few months time

    She can 'interfere' more if she wants ! (And its not a pram its a travel system says the wife)
  • milemile
    edited May 2010
    psj3809 wrote: »

    I'm glad the mother in law is 'interfering' as she bought us a new pram this week ready for the arrival of psj3809 jnr in a few months time

    She can 'interfere' more if she wants ! (And its not a pram its a travel system says the wife)

    take its wheels off and build a go-kart, then cross your fingers its a boy.
  • beanzbeanz
    edited May 2010
    psj3809 wrote: »
    But again its not the worst thing in the world. Its her grandsons first birthday, shes making a huge effort so you cant really knock her for that. Surely you could say to her 'i havent got enough money to pay for food/drinks for all these extra people...' and she should surely chip in ?

    I'm glad the mother in law is 'interfering' as she bought us a new pram this week ready for the arrival of psj3809 jnr in a few months time

    She can 'interfere' more if she wants ! (And its not a pram its a travel system says the wife)

    Disagree, organizing a party when you yourself might want to organize one is presumptuous at best, rude and thoughtless at worst.

    She should have asked if it was ok before doing it.

    Buying a pram is fine...if she had made a rickety one out of wood and insisted you used it because she made it....would you? (and then charged you for the materials) :lol:
  • psj3809psj3809
    edited May 2010
    beanz wrote: »
    Disagree, organizing a party when you yourself might want to organize one is presumptuous at best, rude and thoughtless at worst.

    She should have asked if it was ok before doing it.

    Yeah its not ideal but again its not the worst thing ! Its like saying to your girlfriend 'i dont want a surprise party, i dont want one...' and then she organises one and for a split milisecond youre gutted when you enter the room and then later enjoy it.

    A mother in law trying to organise a big 1st birthday, not really a huge surprise is it ?!

    Plus we've only got rubberkeys version of the story !
  • beanzbeanz
    edited May 2010
    Maybe a subtle chat then rubberkeys...Ma we appreciate the party but we really wanted to do something ourselves, next time just check with us first.

    Then next time you can blow a gasket!
  • MouseyMousey
    edited May 2010
    -RubberKeys- wrote: »
    maybe get some beer from asda/sainsburys etc.. 2 for ?18...
    At least the Mother-in-Law wants to do something really nice for the kid, instead of using him as an excuse for a cheap booze up.
  • psj3809psj3809
    edited May 2010
    Mousey wrote: »
    At least the Mother-in-Law wants to do something really nice for the kid, instead of using him as an excuse for a cheap booze up.

    Ha ha nice point ! Plus we'll have to tell Martijn to lock WOS that evening in case rubberkeys comes online drunk!
Sign In or Register to comment.