I used to know a witness (who didn't live in widnes) but looked like father ted.. he was forever trying to give me a copy of the watch tower (which I assume is "awake" now)
I posted a while ago , some honey turned up at the door.. normally they are charity chuggers, but this one was a religious one.. maybe thats their new tactic...
if you ever have one at your door and you wanna get rid of em.. ask em about dinosaurs and their existence... does the trick 90% of the time
When I was living in Crewe I had a Kingdom Hall(?) no more than 50 yards away and the street was a sort of training ground for the door to door muppets. This was also the same time as I was working (on a personal interest basis) for Chester Zoo on there endangered Species breeding program. I specialised in spiders, frequently very large, very angry looking spiders. 99% of those sort of things are perfectly harmless but the odd one can be a bit snotty so I also has various anti-toxins in the fridge depending on what I was working with at the time.
They wandered round one Sunday afternoon on one of there little training trips and I felt like a good argument so I answered the door. Part way into the relative merits of Science Vs Religion my cat wandered up, gave me a meow and ran out into the garden to chase something, as cats do. This led to them telling me that I shouldn't keep pets and was the pet happy being incarcerated etc. So I whistle the cat over and it wanders over and starts rubbing up against my legs, as cats do. With this I say that the cat seems quite happy or it wouldn't react that way, it has a free will and can just ignore me if it wants so it must be happy to come to me like that. I also mention I have other pets and they are all very happy, would they like to judge for themselves.
Well, saying yes was probably a mistake on there part. I wandered into the living room and got the biggest spider I could find, a big birdeater, perfectly harmless but the size of a saucer, and on the way back to the door grabbed a vial of antitoxin from the fridge. When I opened the door again they realised that they probably didn't like all of gods little creatures as much as they thought. Any colour left in there faces drained away when I held up the antitoxin and said "Do want to hold him?. Its all right, i've got the right stuff ready in case he bites you."
For some reason they never called again, I do miss those theological arguments on a Sunday afternoon.
My most memorable encounter with the JWs was when they invaded the local model shop and started ranting on about the devil's toys (pointing to model-kits of tanks.) They were duly shown the door, but came back that night to urinate through the letterbox and splash paint over the windows. Nice people! :S
Does anyone remember the episode of Black Books where Bernard is trying to avoid doing his accounts so when the jehovahs witnesses knock on his door he invites them in. Then they just sit there because they don't know what to do next because they've never got that far before :D.
On a more serious note, we get them occassionally and they are almost always accompanied by a disabled or mentally ill person. No idea why and I don't want to know either.
i had a couple come to my door before i went to the retro event in huddersfield. i was still waiting on a text from mel the bell to see if he was coming, so i was just sat in my front room just reading a mag (there wasn't anything on tv, and i was itching to leave) they knocked on my door and i started talking to them as i had the time to kill. i invited them in but they said they didn't want to, then they made up an excuse and left.
it wasn't like i was even talknig about dinosaurs or anything. i was agreeing with what they were saying.
i had a couple come to my door before i went to the retro event in huddersfield. i was still waiting on a text from mel the bell to see if he was coming, so i was just sat in my front room just reading a mag (there wasn't anything on tv, and i was itching to leave) they knocked on my door and i started talking to them as i had the time to kill. i invited them in but they said they didn't want to, then they made up an excuse and left.
it wasn't like i was even talknig about dinosaurs or anything. i was agreeing with what they were saying.
Was it a porn mag, and had you forgot to put your 'junk' back in your kecks? :lol:
Jehovah' Witnesses aren't religious people to me, just like mormons aren't, and ... wait, it's a RELIGION thread!!!!
It wasn't meant to really be a religious thread as such, It was just something I found that made me laugh, and say WTF out loud.
When I was living in Crewe I had a Kingdom Hall(?) no more than 50 yards away and the street was a sort of training ground for the door to door muppets.
We have one up the road from me. At least I think it's still there.
People who walk up my path can see me sat watching telly if they look through the blind slats. If it's someone I don't want to talk to or bother with I'll look at them, catch their eye and just go back to watching the telly. If they knock more than twice I get up and close the blinds. If they knock a fourth time I see that as fair game to fling the front door open and have a go with potty mouth. Works for me.
I've got a "Door to door sales? Please don't ring" sticker clearly visible in the glass in my front door, yet you still get the odd retard who still thinks it's clever to ring anyway.
So I just open the door, point to the sticker and ask them to read out what it says. After they've read it, I then ask them what they think it means. Idiots.
i had a couple come to my door before i went to the retro event in huddersfield. i was still waiting on a text from mel the bell to see if he was coming, so i was just sat in my front room just reading a mag (there wasn't anything on tv, and i was itching to leave) they knocked on my door and i started talking to them as I had the time to KILL THEM. I invited them in.
Which part of the patio was it this time ?
Every time I read that the oldest person in the world has died, I have to do a quick check to see it isn't ME..........
Comments
I posted a while ago , some honey turned up at the door.. normally they are charity chuggers, but this one was a religious one.. maybe thats their new tactic...
if you ever have one at your door and you wanna get rid of em.. ask em about dinosaurs and their existence... does the trick 90% of the time
A: Some guy who knocks on your door and tells YOU to **** off.
They wandered round one Sunday afternoon on one of there little training trips and I felt like a good argument so I answered the door. Part way into the relative merits of Science Vs Religion my cat wandered up, gave me a meow and ran out into the garden to chase something, as cats do. This led to them telling me that I shouldn't keep pets and was the pet happy being incarcerated etc. So I whistle the cat over and it wanders over and starts rubbing up against my legs, as cats do. With this I say that the cat seems quite happy or it wouldn't react that way, it has a free will and can just ignore me if it wants so it must be happy to come to me like that. I also mention I have other pets and they are all very happy, would they like to judge for themselves.
Well, saying yes was probably a mistake on there part. I wandered into the living room and got the biggest spider I could find, a big birdeater, perfectly harmless but the size of a saucer, and on the way back to the door grabbed a vial of antitoxin from the fridge. When I opened the door again they realised that they probably didn't like all of gods little creatures as much as they thought. Any colour left in there faces drained away when I held up the antitoxin and said "Do want to hold him?. Its all right, i've got the right stuff ready in case he bites you."
For some reason they never called again, I do miss those theological arguments on a Sunday afternoon.
https://discordapp.com/invite/cZt59EQ
How so? I mean they believe in God and they're Christians in the sense that they are followers of Jesus Christ.
On a more serious note, we get them occassionally and they are almost always accompanied by a disabled or mentally ill person. No idea why and I don't want to know either.
Isn't that a definition of a Jehova's Witness ?
hoo-hoo dangerous ground there mate!
it wasn't like i was even talknig about dinosaurs or anything. i was agreeing with what they were saying.
Was it a porn mag, and had you forgot to put your 'junk' back in your kecks? :lol:
It wasn't meant to really be a religious thread as such, It was just something I found that made me laugh, and say WTF out loud.
We have one up the road from me. At least I think it's still there.
They don't come and see me any more :cry:
So I just open the door, point to the sticker and ask them to read out what it says. After they've read it, I then ask them what they think it means. Idiots.
Which part of the patio was it this time ?
cavity wall.
i dread the missus getting a home decoration show around as a suprise. :razz: