The Demise of Hedge Pron

edited August 2011 in Chit chat
Ill try to keep this as clean as possible.

When i was a kid about 10/11 years old there was a track behind a friends house where you could occasionally find discarded porn mags im pretty sure this is a common place thing around the uk as i even remember a joke in Spaced about it.

Daisy: Right, I'm going to the shops. D'you want anything?
Tim: Porn.
Daisy: Tim, I'm not going to buy you porn. You can get it from railway sidings like everybody else.
Tim: I can't, I'm an adult. I'm supposed to leave it there.

I remember the excitement when me and my mates would unearth some hedge porn and we would all be gorking at it and laughing.

Back then it was nigh on impossible to get porn where as now it availble easily online and free and im guessing the unspoken ritual of the hedge porn cycle has come to an end.

I also remember there would always be one kid at school who reckoned his dad had a huge porn vid stash and he would borrow them and bring them in on monday. Monday would arrive and he'd turn up sans porn tape with an excuse like his Dad lent it to his uncle and what not. This happened quite a few times untill one day in the summer holidays we were sat at the park and he came running up claiming he had got 2 of the tapes and to go round his at 2 he also said he found lots of beer.

We all piled round his house eagerly awaiting seeing some video porn which was like the holy grail at that age so we drew the curtains and he puts in the film.

It turned out the film was Rita, Sue and Bob Too
Post edited by festershinetop on
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Comments

  • edited August 2011
    I remember the excitement when me and my mates would unearth some hedge porn and we would all be gorking at it and laughing.

    lol ah memories, good ol hedge porn :lol:
    It turned out the film was Rita, Sue and Bob Too

    Hahahaha! I think that film was everybodies first "porno". :lol:
    Every night is curry night!
  • edited August 2011
    Viz once did a cartoon strip called "Porn Free", based around a "wildlife sanctuary" for hedge porn. I'll have to get a scan of it, it was quite funny.
  • edited August 2011
    Despite growing up in the countryside, our mags were never in the hedges, but always to be found in the small enclosed car park round the back of the church, hidden behind some old dustbins.

    You never actually saw anyone leave them there though, which baffles me to this day (not that I spent hours hanging out to see, of course) - why would you leave a decent stash of mags pretty much out in the elements for any tom, dick (ahem) or harry to find?

    Very odd....still, it livened up those bike rides when I was 9 or 10 !
  • edited August 2011
    random but rings true....
  • edited August 2011
    Ha ha funny thread. I remember as a kid being quite young and seeing a fair few pornos in the local wood with pages ripped out, think you can imagine what the saddo was doing !

    Never ever bought a porn mag myself but a few mates used to.

    I'm stunned how theres still top shelf magazines nowadays though, a quick search on the internet and in seconds you have pictures/videos about whatever you want ('apparently') !

    But seriously i'm surprised there are still mags going. No one seriously reads the articles/letters in them do they ?
  • edited August 2011
    maybe hedge porn is still about, i prolly don't go routing through as many hedges these days as i did as a kid.
  • edited August 2011
    The decline in hedge porn over recent years seems in direct proportion to the increase in anti-social behaviour, youth disaffectedness and the social faults that lead to recent rioting.

    Maybe I can secure a government grant to carry out more studies?
  • edited August 2011
    MattLamb wrote: »
    The decline in hedge porn over recent years seems in direct proportion to the increase in anti-social behaviour, youth disaffectedness and the social faults that lead to recent rioting.

    Maybe I can secure a government grant to carry out more studies?

    Have you noticed there is a direct correlation between the decline in Spirograph sales and the increase in gang violence? Think about it. Ah, you won't...
  • edited August 2011
    merman wrote: »
    Have you noticed there is a direct correlation between the decline in Spirograph sales and the increase in gang violence? Think about it. Ah, you won't...

    simpsons? ;)
  • edited August 2011
    This is officially (well maybe not) the funniest thread title of the year.

    There was a small woods near to where I lived as a kid and there were always tons of porn mags blowing through there. Always remember a mate sitting on the pub steps not far from it and the wind blew a mag right into the side of his head. He obviously picks it off and has a look just as this little old lady rounds the corner - she gave him a right ticking off!

    I suppose the mags are still going as not everyone is comfortable with using the internet yet, and a mags a damn sight easier to take into the bog than a laptop. Mind, is this why the iPad is so popular ;-)
  • edited August 2011
    haha funny. Yes finding 'hedge porn' was always exciting.

    I wonder who was responsible for it though...other kids or dirty old men in macs.
  • edited August 2011
    When I was about 12, me and my mates used to hang around in an alley behind the road where a few of them lived. Once we could see an old plastic bag sticking out from one of the back fences, kinda lodged between the fence and a shed, so we fished it out only to find that it was full of very rained-on porn mags. Well, I don't think we put it back very well and someone's dog must've been at it afterwards because the next day there were torn scraps of porn mag all over the alley from top to bottom. Ooooops!
  • edited August 2011
    mile wrote: »
    simpsons? ;)

    Yep. Just felt it fitted the thread nicely.

    Never found any hedge porn when I was younger. Did find a copy of the Sunday Sport in a hostel drawer while on a school field trip when I was 13, which was nice. Particularly the freeze frame pictures of Sabrina from the video to Boys...
  • edited August 2011
    I still remember vividly a moment when i went to junior school. The 'cool kid' had just come back from holiday and showed us all this pen with this woman in a bikini he had bought in France. He held it upside down and 'wow' her clothes moved away and you saw her 'bits'. To a very young lad it was quite an event !

    Remember those funny pens ? All the rage for a while
  • edited August 2011
    psj3809 wrote: »
    I still remember vividly a moment when i went to junior school. The 'cool kid' had just come back from holiday and showed us all this pen with this woman in a bikini he had bought in France. He held it upside down and 'wow' her clothes moved away and you saw her 'bits'. To a very young lad it was quite an event !

    Remember those funny pens ? All the rage for a while

    Living at the sea side, I see those all the time. Well, in one shop at least. Plus, it's only 5 minutes down the road!
  • edited August 2011
    i seem to find a plethora of hedge cds these days Oo

    where do these cds come from and why does somebody get the urge to fling them into hedges, grass banks and the side of the road?
    Professional Mel-the-Bell Simulator................"So realistic, I found myself reaching for the Kleenex King-Size!" - Richard Darling
  • edited August 2011
    The demise of hedge porn and white dog poop....kids don't know what they are missing these days.
  • edited August 2011
    psj3809 wrote: »
    I still remember vividly a moment when i went to junior school. The 'cool kid' had just come back from holiday and showed us all this pen with this woman in a bikini he had bought in France. He held it upside down and 'wow' her clothes moved away and you saw her 'bits'. To a very young lad it was quite an event !

    Remember those funny pens ? All the rage for a while
    yeah i had one of those pens :P
    i also once bought some "nudey" playing cards while on holiday but mi dad confiscated em :(
    Professional Mel-the-Bell Simulator................"So realistic, I found myself reaching for the Kleenex King-Size!" - Richard Darling
  • edited August 2011
    i also once bought some "nudey" playing cards while on holiday but mi dad confiscated em :(

    Hehe my mom confiscated mine after finding them in my bedroom...she never actually said anything they were just sitting on the top of the bin kind of speaking the unspoken message of 'you filthy little sod' to me.
  • edited August 2011
    GreenCard wrote: »
    When I was about 12, me and my mates used to hang around in an alley behind the road where a few of them lived. Once we could see an old plastic bag sticking out from one of the back fences, kinda lodged between the fence and a shed, so we fished it out only to find that it was full of very rained-on porn mags.

    That probably wasn't rain mate.

    I hope you all washed yer mits after you'd thumbed through them :p
    Every night is curry night!
  • edited August 2011
    That probably wasn't rain mate.

    I hope you all washed yer mits after you'd thumbed through them :p

    I probably did, I was obsessed with washing my hands even then. :lol:

    *washes hands*
  • edited August 2011
    beanz wrote: »
    white dog poop...

    There's no way this is going to sound sane but a mate of mine at work clearly feels the same as you and has started taking pictures of any white dog doings he sees...

    It's up there with his counting the wheel nuts on hubcaps and funny license plates (not funny as in a funny word just odd)

    As you can probably guess he's a code geek and likes computers....:wink:
  • edited August 2011
    I seem to recall there is a thread about white dog poop somewhere around here.

    Summers were not summers without white dog poop.

    I'll re-tell my white dog poop story as you're new wookie.

    Playing at the park during the school summer hols, discovery of said poop.
    empty Murray mint wrapper in pocket
    girl playing in park is observed
    shape said poop with a lolly stick into a murray mint type shape
    wrap carefully so it looks legit
    Offer Murray mint to girl.
    Run when she spat it out.
  • edited August 2011
    razzle.jpg
  • edited August 2011
    beanz wrote: »
    I seem to recall there is a thread about white dog poop somewhere around here.

    Summers were not summers without white dog poop.

    I'll re-tell my white dog poop story as you're new wookie.

    Playing at the park during the school summer hols, discovery of said poop.
    empty Murray mint wrapper in pocket
    girl playing in park is observed
    shape said poop with a lolly stick into a murray mint type shape
    wrap carefully so it looks legit
    Offer Murray mint to girl.
    Run when she spat it out.

    It's gets worse each time ergh! :lol:

    Makes my story about almost chopping the girl up the streets foot off with a garden hoe seem saintly :D
    Every night is curry night!
  • edited August 2011
    beanz wrote: »
    I seem to recall there is a thread about white dog poop somewhere around here.

    Summers were not summers without white dog poop.

    I'll re-tell my white dog poop story as you're new wookie.

    Playing at the park during the school summer hols, discovery of said poop.
    empty Murray mint wrapper in pocket
    girl playing in park is observed
    shape said poop with a lolly stick into a murray mint type shape
    wrap carefully so it looks legit
    Offer Murray mint to girl.
    Run when she spat it out.

    :o:lol::lol: that's naaaaassssssty man
  • zx1zx1
    edited August 2011
    mile wrote: »
    razzle.jpg

    Rubberkeys strikes again.................:smile:
    The trouble with tribbles is.......
  • edited August 2011
    Viz did a brilliant cartoon a couple of years back by Davey Jones called 'Porn Free'. A nature reserve for hedge scud fluttering in the wind...
  • edited August 2011
    torot wrote: »
    Viz did a brilliant cartoon a couple of years back by Davey Jones called 'Porn Free'. A nature reserve for hedge scud fluttering in the wind...

    post 3. :razz:
  • edited August 2011
    psj3809 wrote: »
    Ha ha funny thread. I remember as a kid being quite young and seeing a fair few pornos in the local wood with pages ripped out, think you can imagine what the saddo was doing !

    Never ever bought a porn mag myself but a few mates used to.

    I'm stunned how theres still top shelf magazines nowadays though, a quick search on the internet and in seconds you have pictures/videos about whatever you want ('apparently') !

    But seriously i'm surprised there are still mags going. No one seriously reads the articles/letters in them do they ?

    Because there is still a market for physical magazines. Not everyone uses the Internet.

    A year ago, a local newsagent used to sell access to a porn website. (I never brought said access - porn doesn't do anything for me)

    (incidentally, last night, I helped a neighbour move some furniture following the departure of her partner and we found a couple of porn mags under his chair)
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