feeling very depressed
Anybody ever felt like commiting sucide?
Not a joke and I ain't answering troll or just want attention either, this is the only forum that I post on to be honest. I have my Facebook but don't want to post my feelings on there for obvious reasons.
I have a job, car, long term partner.. but have found myself in a slump if you know what. i mean....and my beautiful toddler son
I find I get angry quite easily, can't concentrate etc
My partner said if I don't sort myself out by seeing a doctor or specialist
She has no choice but to leave...
Take the piss etc .....oh look it's rubber keys with one of his attention threads again
I don't give two focks to be honest but just putting it out there if anybody has been in my situation
Not a joke and I ain't answering troll or just want attention either, this is the only forum that I post on to be honest. I have my Facebook but don't want to post my feelings on there for obvious reasons.
I have a job, car, long term partner.. but have found myself in a slump if you know what. i mean....and my beautiful toddler son
I find I get angry quite easily, can't concentrate etc
My partner said if I don't sort myself out by seeing a doctor or specialist
She has no choice but to leave...
Take the piss etc .....oh look it's rubber keys with one of his attention threads again
I don't give two focks to be honest but just putting it out there if anybody has been in my situation
Post edited by rubberkeys on
Comments
He eventually went to a counselor and started taking happy-pills, which worked.
The main thing is to start with the counseling and go from there.
dunno what to say really, give councilling a try maybe.
if only for your kid's sake, every kid wants a "dad" I would guess...
But I'm not really on the same boat here as I don't have a wife/partner, I don't have children, I've lived by myself for the past 11 years since I lost my father and thankfully I am pretty good financially despite not working in almost 6 years because of this and bad knees.
I was really like suicidal around 2006-07 but I'm nowhere near that state now, I fear death anyway so "wanting to die" would be a little inane for me.
So I partially know what your going through with depression, but faced with a dilemma you have is beyond me I'm afraid. But If I was a father and needed reasons to get better and in worse case to live, then my child would be the absolute top of the list.
I've suffered with it for years and years, and it took me a long time (and a lot of persuasion) to admit to it. Even after the 'bad' period of my life ended and I met my missus, I still have fits of it.
Before I met her, I was pretty much at the end of my rope. I had a long hiatus from here. Actually everywhere. When my marriage finally ended, what I thought would get better, got worse, despite my ex-wife being evil to the point of trying to persuade me to kill myself (she almost succeeded.)
But it does get better, slowly, although I know from personal experience no matter what anybody tells you, you won't believe it'll happen until you feel it happening.
I have a wonderful missus, a beautiful baby boy, new house, great job, but it affects me from time to time too, but i'm nowhere near as bad as I was.
It's not been easy getting to where I am today and I'm absolutely nowhere near 'fixed', I accept I probably never will be, but things now have probably been the 'best' over those past couple of years. I have tried counselling - 3 times, counselling fans - but never did anything for me. That's one thing to remember. Something's work for some but not for others. I'm on my 3rd type of anti-depressant and I wouldn't say I feel better - they are not happy pills...if ****ing only! - but I way up the pros and cons being on these ones.
What you have to be prepared for is that there is no quick fix. But use and try all the resources you can, they may not work but you just try the next thing.
hah, it was my depression that caused me to originally drop out from doing the Double Dragon Redux graphics and I had a wry smile to myself when almost exactly 2 years since then, I found myself back working on it!
tl;dr ****ing mental!
Here's the thing though. You may not notice any difference but those around you probably do notice.
My friend said the exact same thing, "I don't feel any different, it's not working, this is a waste of time!"
But I noticed a change (after 4-5 weeks) but he kept on saying that nothing was different. Those were precious few weeks (for me) where he was actually even-keeled and easier to be around with.
You have to allow the pills to do "their thing" so that you can reach a plateau (of sorts) where you can start doing "your thing" i.e. start working on yourself.
But yes, not all pills work the same, nor the same on each person. And just the medicine part of the treatment can take months or even couple of years to see what works, or doesn't work for a person.
And maybe medicine isn't something that works at all for a person dealing with their "inner demons" (so to speak.)
But don't immediately discount medicine. "You" may not see the difference but believe you me, others will. And eventually you will see the difference yourself. That's where a log or a diary may help, where you rate each day and you can take a look at "a week" or a set of months where you see that things were better. It's easy to be stuck in a certain frame of mind, after years and years of having ones brain (or behaviour) wired the wrong way around. It takes a lot of effort to be willing to not only open up about ones issues but then also to see that things are changing.
Don't expect change within a day or two ... you should be prepared for years of "self-work" ahead of you. It's also important to let your family members "in on it" so that they can help out and give you encouragement when you want to give up on your "self-work". Then again, not everyone has a communicative family or are willing to participate in something like this.
it doesn't make sense, but the monkey it kinda cool
Not only is he deep and meaningful, but he's also sensitive and encouraging!
Milesy old boy, you're ok in my books
Usually, they'll initially plump for Fluoxetine (Prozac) or Citalopram as they are the least invasive. Citalopram, which was the 1st one I was on, can initially have some bad side effects - sickness, a slightly higher anxiety than usual, but these pass after a few days. Citalopram worked for me for about a year and a half then I felt they no longer worked. Cue next one, a stronger one, Venlafaxine, and again this seemed to work for so long before I felt I was no longer benefitting from them. It also absolutely killed my sex drive stone dead. I am now on Mirtazapine and although I don't feel like high fiving everybody I meet - anti-depressants DO NOT work like that - I never have to worry about my appetite, the anxiety and the sleeping AND I have my sex drive back with a motherf**king vengeance..right ladies? ;)
What you have to be clear on is that anti-depressants are not a cure. They just make things easier for you to help yourself get better and that means CBT, counselling, psychology, etc.
When I first came down with depression, I read a bit into what is actually happening physically in your body, and as much as it's always classed as a 'mental' illness, there is a hell of a lot physical that has stopped working and it's that what the meds help.
Yup, learn to ride a motorbike, bound to cheer you up. :D
Well I for one am bloody greatful you couldn't reach it! My heart goes out to anyone who suffers with depression, my younger sister tried to take her life years ago and to be honest at the time I thought it was really selfish of her at the time but I do understand that you really must be at your witts end to feel that is the only way anything is going to get better.
I don't really feel like offing myself, but I dunno I've had some funny phases in my life?
My missus reckons I should see a doc, but I don't want pills, I fear that if I take pills I may lose my true self? I have no idea if that sounds paranoid, but I'm not up for it.
So I come home from the job I hate, I drink myself stupid and remain Boozy :D
Did me a world of good. Worked out what happens to me just as it's starting and I can see it coming now so hopefully can stave any possible episodes off. It's worked so far!
Thing is, it is hell, and it feels like things won't get any better, but they ALWAYS do if you don't let it get you. When I have an episode I always come out the other side stronger.
Talk about it. That's a great start! It happens to LOTS of people. I wish more people would talk about it and not feel ashamed of it having got to them.
It's nothing to be ashamed about. It's not a sign of weakness. It's a chemical imbalance in your brain. No one's fault.
It's not the end of the world, it will get better, and you'll be a better and stronger person because of the blackness your head puts you in.
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I did think seriously about doing myself in when my dad died and gf left me all in the space of 5 days, i drank heavily and was nearly in hospital due to panic attacks, i was on pills and the drinking probably didn't help but i somehow got through it after i spoke to my doctor.
Best thing is to probably speak to a counsellor.
That's not very wise.... If you come off the drugs and start deciding for yourself when to take them, it takes longer for them to work, and when you're not on them its worse.
I lived with someone with depression for a couple of years and can fully understand dustin's wife telling him to sort himself out or go.
I recommend you go to your GP. You will feel much better for it.
Exactly same thing happened to me. I got to the stage where my 'stand by mode', how I was feeling when washing up, watching TV, reading, sitting on the loo, was a state of utter panic. That's when I went Drs. Panic attacks that only stop when you're asleep need sorting out professionaly!
Ex-Ocean Software graphic artist -
Download my FREE PDF 'LOAD DIJ DIJ' (180,000+ words): https://ko-fi.com/i/IG2G3BEJZP
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https://www.facebook.com/OceanSoftwareLtd/
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It all starts when you talk to someone about it, share your thoughts and feelings, as openly as you can, even if you have to be emotional about it, especially to those you know and understand what you are going through as "outsiders" wouldn't get it nor care. You see adverts advising people with mental health issues to talk to someone and from my experience it was the best thing I did, otherwise I might well have been ceased.
But I'm glad you guys are all still here, rather than six feet under the sod.
Take it from someone who has been all the way to the bottom, you really do not want to let yourself hit the point where you wake up in a hospital feeling completely and utterly broken.
All the best,
Shaun.
a decade later, I still occasionally have those thoughts, but with a great other half and a little 'un on the way, there's a lot to look forward too also, the good points of life for the most, outweigh the bad
I really think it's something most of us go through and continue to go through in varying amounts. it's just that some have the balls to openly come out and talk about it, most really don't and hide it away.
Despite the faces and personas people show in company, they're totally different privately,
how many times have you looked at a mates house wondering 'how they keep it so clean', when yours is a dump....then tidying like crazy when your mates come round to yours....they'll be thinking the same!
society nowadays is all about keeping face, trying to be 'normal', to 'fit in'......we're all here, posting in a retro forum about a 30 year old computer, it's where we feel comfortable fitting in, to 'normal' people, they may consider it a little odd, to others we're a bunch of old farts reminiscing about old memories / when times were better, when we were younger....which in itself could show that we're all a little screwed up in a way!.
I hope that these feelings change for you, there's only 1 life on the planet and 99% of us will be thinking it's a bit ***** at some point.