Asking a friend for a job

edited August 2012 in Chit chat
I just send a e-mail to an old friend (I used to work with him, but we haven't kept in touch much over the past 6 years) asking for a job.

Second time I've done it since I got unemployed, mostly I asked if they knew about openings, don't want to put them on the hot spot of "having to give a job to a friend". also it was strange to send a less formal and more personal letter with your CV.

any of you guys ever asked for jobs to friends & relatives? any changes on your relations with them?
Post edited by VanTammen on

Comments

  • edited August 2012
    Never had to ask any friend or relative for a job, favour or money. Hoping I'll never will. I do, however, remember telling my wife, right before I was about to quit a job that was killing me inside:

    "I'm about to make a decision that could change our life for the worse. I can't stand this job anymore and I'm not happy. I may or may not be able to get something better but I can't force you and the kids to go through hell with me. You have the right to tell me you want to go a separate way or stay with me and see what happens. I can't guarantee what's going to happen next. Either way I'll respect you, but I don't want to make my wife and sons suffer."

    She decided to stick with me and I got a simple job as a merchandiser 6 years ago. Since then I've changed jobs and positions almost 6 times but always for the better. We're planning to buy our first home next year. I'm going back to school this year.

    I've always believed these 2 things:

    -If I can't provide for my family, I don't deserve one
    -If someone doesn't have a stable financial life and can't guarantee financial security, they shouldn't get married

    I know this is a little bit off-topic but felt like mentioning it. This level of responsibility has helped me make tough decisions along the way, surpass obstacles and overcome problems.
  • edited August 2012
    Hehe :) I have the opposite opinion than Bruno :D
    I think both, woman and man should contribute the same in providing money for the family. If any of them is jobless, then they have to be more tight with the expenses, but nothing else.
    Im quite fed up with the idea of the man being the main supporter of the family, its not fair, specially in these days! :)
    As for what you said, Van, if its a good friend, the relationship wont change, unless you mess up at your new job very badly :P
  • zx1zx1
    edited August 2012
    Some years ago i had been out of work for ages and was desperate. I asked a cousin who was a window cleaner if he needed some help and he said yes, weeks passed with no phone call, i asked him what was going on and he said 'Oh, i gave it to someone else!'. He said he didn't think i was experienced enough! He didn't say that when i asked him for a job though.
    We fell out for quite a while after that but we're speaking again, it was 15 years ago.
    The trouble with tribbles is.......
  • edited August 2012
    Ivanzx wrote: »
    Hehe :) I have the opposite opinion than Bruno :D
    I think both, woman and man should contribute the same in providing money for the family. If any of them is jobless, then they have to be more tight with the expenses, but nothing else.

    Let me explain a little better... Of course both can contribute, but back then she didn't had a job and I was about to give up mine. Things could go bad really, really fast. Nowadays we both work, one full time job and one part time job, each. :)

    Although I'm ok with the wife working, I wouldn't be ok being jobless for a long time and having her support the family on her own. VanTammen probably feels the same way and that's why he's searching. But I've seen a few families where the guy is healthy but just stays around in the house, saying life is difficult and jobs are hard to find, while the wife is the only one supporting the family. That looks bad to me.

    edit: There's also another aspect of this topic which hasn't been discussed. Family and friends may be afraid of giving a job or helping get a job at a certain place because they've been "burned" in the past. I remember helping someone get hired where I work. He wouldn't fit. He wouldn't adapt. He wasn't happy. The job was easy and all he had to do was hang on, but his pride was bigger than his efficiency, and he quit. I've had two family members do that to me in the past 5 years. They don't realize that in the end I'm the one that looks bad. When someone really needs a job and is really desperate they shouldn't be picky.
  • fogfog
    edited August 2012
  • edited August 2012
    zxbruno wrote: »
    Let me explain a little better... Of course both can contribute, but back then she didn't had a job and I was about to give up mine. Things could go bad really, really fast. Nowadays we both work, one full time job and one part time job, each. :)

    Although I'm ok with the wife working, I wouldn't be ok being jobless for a long time and having her support the family on her own. VanTammen probably feels the same way and that's why he's searching. But I've seen a few families where the guy is healthy but just stays around in the house, saying life is difficult and jobs are hard to find, while the wife is the only one supporting the family. That looks bad to me.

    edit: There's also another aspect of this topic which hasn't been discussed. Family and friends may be afraid of giving a job or helping get a job at a certain place because they've been "burned" in the past. I remember helping someone get hired where I work. He wouldn't fit. He wouldn't adapt. He wasn't happy. The job was easy and all he had to do was hang on, but his pride was bigger than his efficiency, and he quit. I've had two family members do that to me in the past 5 years. They don't realize that in the end I'm the one that looks bad. When someone really needs a job and is really desperate they shouldn't be picky.


    You sound kind of old-fashioned. Do you open doors and get her the chair from under the table before she sits down too? ;)

    I think it's perfectly ok for guys to be at home while their wife work for the money. As long as they take care of the cleaning, cooking, children and stuff that goes with it (the guys at home that is, not their wife that goes to work).
  • edited August 2012
    I work part time - 3 days per week and look after my two young sons the other two days. I have to say the two days at home are much more tiring than being at work. These blokes who make out they don't need to do anything around the house because they work full time are taking the piss. Right sisters? But I digress....
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