dodgy song lyrics...

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  • edited April 2013
    leespoons wrote: »
    Vanilla Ice is a veritable Shakespeare compared to this monstrosity:

    ....

    robbie williams is amazingly annoying. clearly thinks he's a bit 'edgy' and leftfield but has just churned out a career of pap. can't think of anyone more cringe inducing
    zx1 wrote: »
    She looks like an African Queen
    She's eating twelve Japatis and cream

    What's the news Mary Jane? - The Beatles, obviously recorded after taking various substances.
    talking of Beatles this one from McCartney

    "Someone's knockin' at the door
    Somebody's ringin' the bell
    Someone's knockin' at the door
    Somebody's ringin' the bell
    Do me a favor,
    Open the door and let 'em in"

    not quite Eleanor Rigby :D
  • edited April 2013
    def chris wrote: »
    talking of Beatles this one from McCartney

    "Someone's knockin' at the door
    Somebody's ringin' the bell
    Someone's knockin' at the door
    Somebody's ringin' the bell
    Do me a favor,
    Open the door and let 'em in"

    not quite Eleanor Rigby :D

    Wonder if Macca realises the BNP adopted this tune as the theme for their campaign against lettin' all them foreigns into the country :D

    I'm sure Sir Paul would not be too impressed by that :lol:
    Every night is curry night!
  • edited April 2013
    Beastie Boys, So Watcha Want...

    "Well I think I'm losing my mind this time,
    Said I think I'm losing my mind, that's right,
    I think I'm losing my mind this time,
    This time, I'm losing my mind."

    But it's the Beastie Boys, so that's ok... :D
  • edited April 2013
    I think 'Rock DJ' is unashamed nonsense though. Whereas Vanilla Ice was trying oh-so-hard to be deadly serious. No, on the way home I was subjected to worse by Carly Simon.

    So, how the hell do you wear a hat 'below one eye'? Who pronounces 'apricot' as 'appri-cot'? And as for the line, 'you probably think this song is about you' - well, of course it is, if you're the person in question. How far up her own jacksy is Carly Simon to write a song criticising someone else for being vain and assuming the song is about them when it blatantly is a song about the vain person she's singing about? Nutcase that woman. Steer clear.
    Joefish
    - IONIAN-GAMES.com -
  • edited April 2013
    Repeat after me
    It's a scoobie oobie doobie scoobie doobie melody

    I'm the Scatman.


    Can't go severely wrong with that one, eh?
  • edited April 2013
    Judge Dread the white reggae singer has some bloody awful lyrics.

    Up With the Cock - Judge Dread.

    I know a girl who works on a farm
    If you listen to me I'll tell you a yarn
    Always asleep by ten o'clock
    At six on the dot she's up with the cock

    Up with the cock (x2)
    At six o'clock she's up with the cock

    To milk a heard of Jersys
    At seven's her first bit
    She warms her hands to please the cows
    When she gives a pull on the tit

    Pull on the tit (x2)
    Up with the cock (x2)
    At six o'clock she's up with the cock

    Twice a week a smelly job
    Is when she cleans the yard
    Scraping up the cow dung,
    Yes life on the farm's so hard

    It's so hard (x2)
    Pull on the tit (x2)
    Up with the cock (x2)
    At six o'clock she's up with the cock

    She was in the field one sunny day
    Plowing all alone
    She cought her foot in the driving train
    It made her scream and moan

    Scream and moan (x2)
    It's so hard (x2)
    Pull on the tit (x2)
    Up with the cock (x2)
    At six o'clock she's up with the cock

    When it is time to harvest comes
    Sunshine is just the trick
    But when the weather's nasty
    It has her coming quick

    Coming quick (x2)
    Scream and moan (x2)
    It's so hard (x2)
    Pull on the tit (x2)
    Up with the cock (x2)
    At six o'clock she's up with the cock


    Calling all ASCII Art Architects Visit the WOS Wall of Text and contribute: https://www.yourworldoftext.com/wos
  • edited April 2013
    joefish wrote: »
    I think 'Rock DJ' is unashamed nonsense though. Whereas Vanilla Ice was trying oh-so-hard to be deadly serious.

    Well both songs were utter mince, granted, but at least Vanilla Ice only bothered the charts once, by which time everyone had cottoned on that he was a fake wannabe gangsta with crap hair and moved on to, erm, Snow. And if you're going to sample a familiar bassline, might as well make it one of John Deacon's.

    I've heard more Robbie Williams songs than I'd care to admit to, and I still have no idea what he's wibbling on about in most of them, but 'Rock DJ' must surely be the lowlight of his career. "I know, I'll throw in some blowjob references and nick a few lyrics from old hip hop records just to show how 'downwiddit' I am, and everyone will forget I'm a fat bloke from Staffordshire who started his career prancing around singing Barry Manilow covers! Oh and I won't bother with a tune, either."

    Still, at least it's not Sc**ting for G*rls... I can't even bring myself to type their name SHE'S SO LOVE-ER-LEY! SHE'S SO LOVE-ER-LEY! SHE'S SO LOVE-ER-LEY! SHE'S SO LOVE-ER-LEY! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH *implodes*
    The comp.sys.sinclair crap games competition 2015
    "Let's not be childish. Let's play Spectrum games."
  • edited April 2013
    Oh, Robbie Williams is far more cynical than that. Him and Mika are great ones for remixing familiar tunes as the intros for their songs to make them seem 'familiar' even when you hear them for the first time. Purely engineered pop tat; all the major producers are at it, and it works on the masses of people who just buy what they're told.
    Joefish
    - IONIAN-GAMES.com -
  • edited April 2013
    Can't believe that I forgot to mention MacArthur Park...
    Someone left the cake out in the rain
    I don't think that I can take it
    'Cause it took so long to bake it
    And I'll never have that recipe again
  • edited April 2013
    Pretty much anything from this things can be described as "slightly dodgy" :lol:

    WARNING!!! NSFW...NSFLife etc ;-)

  • edited April 2013
    leespoons wrote: »
    I've heard more Robbie Williams songs than I'd care to admit to, and I still have no idea what he's wibbling on about in most of them, but 'Rock DJ' must surely be the lowlight of his career.

    Nope, it gets worse...



    :cry:
  • edited April 2013
    Pretty much anything from this things can be described as "slightly dodgy" :lol:

    WARNING!!! NSFW...NSFLife etc ;-)


    I love this tune simply because it samples the only really famous Zombies song :lol:

    Basically anything by Necro will fit this thread, especially Dead Body Disposal which I'm almost certain you could really use to dispose of a corpse without being caught? :lol:
    Every night is curry night!
  • edited April 2013
    GreenCard wrote: »
    Nope, it gets worse...



    :cry:
    I laughed at this though...
    http://www.aceshowbiz.com/news/view/00013531.html :D
  • edited April 2013
    I think "artists" i.e. manufactrured tossers with no talent who try to go it alone need to do something different. I don't mean collabing in the typical style and jumping on with a DJ I mean really try something else :D

    Imagine Hardcore Punk album by Nicole Appelton, or Drum n' Bass album by James Blunt, or Black Metal album by Nadine Coyle, or Susan Boyles Nerdcore Rap album :lol:

    Of course they'd all suck balls, but I'd give em' a listen, and a bit of kudos for trying :D
    Every night is curry night!
  • zx1zx1
    edited April 2013
    Sometimes it feels like we lack communication
    I know you feel like you need a long vacation.

    Hank Marvin - Don't Talk

    Truly awful lyrics, and the song isn't too great either.
    The trouble with tribbles is.......
  • edited April 2013
    just remembered this, almost up there with that Des'ree one for woefulness...

    "The car won't start - it's falling apart
    I was late for work and the boss got smart
    My pantyline shows - got a run in my hose
    My hair went flat - man, I hate that
    Just when I thought things couldn't get worse
    I realized I forgot my purse
    With all this stress - I must confess
    This could be worse than PMS "

    Shania Twain - Honey I'm Home
  • edited April 2013
    Imagine Hardcore Punk album by Nicole Appelton, or Drum n' Bass album by James Blunt, or Black Metal album by Nadine Coyle, or Susan Boyles Nerdcore Rap album :lol:
    For some reason I have in my head the voice of 'Pam Ayres performs the hits of Whitesnake':
    Now Oi don't know where Oi'm go-in'
    But Oi shurr know where Oi've bin.
    Or maybe some 'Give me All Your Love':
    When Oi first saw you baby, you took me breath away -
    I knew yurr name wer' Trouble, but me 'eart got in the way.
    ...
    Oi don't even know yerr name an' Oi can't leave you alone.
    Oi'm runnin' round in circles, like a dog, wivout a bone.
    Joefish
    - IONIAN-GAMES.com -
  • edited April 2013
    Haha! Now I'm thinking Janet Street Porter Covers The Beastie Boys :lol:

    Sad thing is it may work :D
    Every night is curry night!
  • edited April 2013
    Me throat's as dry as a dingo's didgeridoo.
    I once asked a kangaroo to marry me...

    ...said she didn't want to be tied down. :lol:
    Joefish
    - IONIAN-GAMES.com -
  • edited April 2013
    def chris wrote: »

    Justice. :D
  • edited May 2013
    joefish wrote: »
    For some reason I have in my head the voice of 'Pam Ayres performs the hits of Whitesnake':
    Now Oi don't know where Oi'm go-in'
    But Oi shurr know where Oi've bin.
    Or maybe some 'Give me All Your Love':
    When Oi first saw you baby, you took me breath away -
    I knew yurr name wer' Trouble, but me 'eart got in the way.
    ...
    Oi don't even know yerr name an' Oi can't leave you alone.
    Oi'm runnin' round in circles, like a dog, wivout a bone.

    In the still o'the noight
    Oi 'ear the wolf 'owl, 'oney
    Sniffin' around yurr dorr
    In the still o'the noight
    Oi feel me 'eart beatin' 'eavy
    Telling me Oi gotta 'ave morrrr...

    Oh my! Think I need a lie down now.
    The comp.sys.sinclair crap games competition 2015
    "Let's not be childish. Let's play Spectrum games."
  • edited May 2013
    Haha! Now I'm thinking Janet Street Porter Covers The Beastie Boys :lol:

    Sad thing is it may work :D

    Well she used to go out with Normski (uber-irritating presenter of Dance Energy who went 'Yo yo yo yo!!!!' a lot) so she knows a bit about hip hop.

    In fact why not go one better and have her join the band as a replacement for MCA?

    And vis is me y'awl, I emcee y'awl
    Me name is JSP and I stiww do wot I please
    The comp.sys.sinclair crap games competition 2015
    "Let's not be childish. Let's play Spectrum games."
  • edited May 2013
    Even worse are unintentional mis-interpretations of lyrics when heard by speakers of other languages. Two examples from my memory:
    • The opening lines of Lipps Inc's Funky Town ("Gotta make a move to a town that's right for me") are misinterpreted by many Italian listeners as "Caro amico mio culattone aspettami", which translates as "Wait for me, my dear b*gg*r friend".
    • There is a long running joke among Sicilian dark/goth/New Wave followers about Bauhaus's In The Flat Field. When Peter Murphy screams "I get bored, I do get bored", his Northampton (I believe) accent makes the line sound almost exactly as "Ma chi bboi? Ma tu chi bboi?", which is Sicilian for "Whaddaya want? But ya, whaddaya want?" (especially used when dealing with annoying people and/or requests).
  • edited May 2013
    ewgf wrote: »
    Well I feel sorry for the Elephant!
    You know, it's taken me until this morning to realise that this was a trunk/elephant gag. :lol:
    Even worse are unintentional mis-interpretations of lyrics when heard by speakers of other languages.
    Mis-heard lyrics are bad enough when they're supposed to be speaking the same language...

    'Scuse me, while I kiss this guy. - Jimi Hendrix
    I look like Casper without m' make-up. - Robbie Williams
    Got my first real sex dream... - Bryan Adams
    The ants are my friends,.. - Bob Dylan
    West Virginia, Mountin' Momma, - John Denver
    There's a bathroom on the right. - Creedance Clearwater Revival
    Dirty deeds, done with sheep. - AC/DC

    And some are just downright unintelligible. Creedance Clearwater Revival's Down on the Corner is a good example. If you don't know the lyrics, just about every other line sounds like nonsense.
    Joefish
    - IONIAN-GAMES.com -
  • edited May 2013
    For years I thought Kate Bush was singing "She's so popular!" on Peter Gabriel's 'Games Without Frontiers'.
    The comp.sys.sinclair crap games competition 2015
    "Let's not be childish. Let's play Spectrum games."
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