The Official Crap Games Competition 2013 Thread!

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  • edited July 2013
    when you die in a crap game it should always play the funeral tune, and halt the game while its playing of course
  • edited July 2013
    leespoons wrote: »
    And what's happened to Kweepa? 38 squidillion carp games in 3 months, then nothing.

    I'm still alive and checking in on this thread... unfortunately too busy to knock out those last three games. I was working on a doctor who game that I got bogged down on. I really wanted several levels but couldn't come up with an easy way of editing them.

    Some lovely carp here. carlsson, nice otters!
  • edited July 2013
    slenkar wrote: »
    when you die in a crap game it should always play the funeral tune, and halt the game while its playing of course

    Not saying it's a crap game, but that was the one thing that really annoyed me about Wanted: Monty Mole. 20 seconds of "AAAAAAAA-BIIIIIDE WITH MEEEEEE" was 20 seconds too long in my book.
    Kweepa wrote: »
    I'm still alive and checking in on this thread... unfortunately too busy to knock out those last three games. I was working on a doctor who game that I got bogged down on. I really wanted several levels but couldn't come up with an easy way of editing them.

    You might like this then...

    http://www.worldofspectrum.org/forums/showthread.php?t=44455

    although it's actually pretty difficult to write a truly crap game with it.
    The comp.sys.sinclair crap games competition 2015
    "Let's not be childish. Let's play Spectrum games."
  • leespoons wrote: »
    Not saying it's a crap game, but that was the one thing that really annoyed me about Wanted: Monty Mole. 20 seconds of "AAAAAAAA-BIIIIIDE WITH MEEEEEE" was 20 seconds too long in my book.


    Oh god that was so annoying!
    leespoons wrote: »
    You might like this then...

    http://www.worldofspectrum.org/forums/showthread.php?t=44455

    although it's actually pretty difficult to write a truly crap game with it.

    You had a pretty good go though! :D
  • edited July 2013
    You had a pretty good go though! :D

    Ah, but I didn't write any of the code, so I can blame Dave for that :-P
    The comp.sys.sinclair crap games competition 2015
    "Let's not be childish. Let's play Spectrum games."
  • edited July 2013
    Kweepa wrote: »
    I'm still alive and checking in on this thread... unfortunately too busy to knock out those last three games.

    Glad to hear you're still with us!
    Kweepa wrote: »
    I was working on a doctor who game that I got bogged down on. I really wanted several levels but couldn't come up with an easy way of editing them.

    You mean it's finished?
    Kweepa wrote: »
    Some lovely carp here. carlsson, nice otters!

    Agreed! But we are still shockingly short of otter, lawnmower and cricket games thus far.
  • edited July 2013
    Another entry:

    game2.gif

    The Lost Treasure of Something

    By RebelstarWAC

    This is actually a pretty good game, and hope Rebelstar developes it further outside of the CGC :smile:
  • edited July 2013
    Very good game that! Too short and too easy mind you - this is the only real crap part of it I think: took approximately 4 minutes to clock it. If I'd paid 50p for it I'd be out for revenge.
  • edited July 2013
    It's crap game Saturday!

    parking1small_zpsfeb190fc.jpg

    Parking Meter Simulator

    Nice to have an entry from absinthe boy, one of the few left who still code on real hardware.
  • edited July 2013
    Jesus Christ 3 in a morning, I'm going mad :o:grin:

    game2.gif

    Futuristic F1 Championship

    By spud.
  • edited July 2013
    R-Tape wrote: »
    It's crap game Saturday!

    Crapurday! Perfect, the wife and kids have gone off for a bit.

    Rebelstar's entry should be disqualified - it was at least as enjoyable as most early Mastertronic games, and I didn't have to pay ?1.99 for it.

    Spud's game was crap - what's with the "feet" thing? - but bits of it ("Didcot") made me laugh, which is more than can be said for most early Mastertronic games, and I didn't have to pay ?1.99 for it.

    And I'm typing this while playing Advanced Parking Meter Simulator. Crappy border FX, crappy sound, no gameplay to speak of, and you can't win. A steaming great pile of donkey balls. Utterly brilliant! Well done Absintheboy!

    (edit - the "arcade hack" of Parking Meter Simulator was the most fun I've had with a CSSCGC game since Top Shelf Challenge)
    The comp.sys.sinclair crap games competition 2015
    "Let's not be childish. Let's play Spectrum games."
  • edited July 2013
    leespoons wrote: »

    And I'm typing this while playing Advanced Parking Meter Simulator. Crappy border FX, crappy sound, no gameplay to speak of, and you can't win. A steaming great pile of donkey balls. Utterly brilliant! Well done Absintheboy!

    (edit - the "arcade hack" of Parking Meter Simulator was the most fun I've had with a CSSCGC game since Top Shelf Challenge)


    I shall take a bow. Thank you for your kind comments.

    As Obi-Wan Kenobi said...."You can't win, but there are alternatives to fighting"
  • edited July 2013
    R-Tape wrote: »


    I read the review and the penny dropped :) Very amusing, great picture of your feet. One for the foot fetishists that!
  • edited July 2013
    I just tried to add my first loading screen, as per the instructions on page 19+ of this thread. However the final result is that the effect of BRIGHT in my main program is reversed/ignored and INKEY$ doesn't work once the program is loaded. If I break into the program and RUN it again, both BRIGHT and INKEY$ work like they're supposed to.

    I suppose that is the height of crap, to fail when following written instructions. Now I wonder if I should submit the game to R-Type with or without loading screen...
  • does your inkey$ routine check for lower case or upper case letters? Try adding a POKE 23658,0 or 23658,8 to the start of your program to force capslock on or off.
  • carlsson wrote: »
    Now I wonder if I should submit the game to R-Type with or without loading screen...

    Don't send it to R-Type, the Bydo empire will get it!
  • edited July 2013
    carlsson wrote: »
    I just tried to add my first loading screen, as per the instructions on page 19+ of this thread. However the final result is that the effect of BRIGHT in my main program is reversed/ignored and INKEY$ doesn't work once the program is loaded. If I break into the program and RUN it again, both BRIGHT and INKEY$ work like they're supposed to.

    I suppose that is the height of crap, to fail when following written instructions. Now I wonder if I should submit the game to R-Type with or without loading screen...

    It's a bit like the problem Einar sorted for me the other week, if you put 1 CLEAR as the first line of your program it sorts the bug. That POKE 23739,111 seems to have a lot to answer for.

    I've created a bugfixed version and will use this one. Brilliant entry this one, it'll need a few days marinating before it appears on the site.
    Don't send it to R-Type, the Bydo empire will get it!

    The Bydo empire can have it, all of it I say!
  • edited July 2013
    Thanks for the help!
  • edited July 2013
    New game! our second entry to the CGC Otter competition.

    otter.jpg

    game1.gif

    Otters on a Plane.

    by Carlsson.

    I bet Samuel L Jackson wished he'd got his hands on this ottertastic franchise instead.
  • So this one wasn't written with CGD? Is that allowed?
  • edited July 2013
    So this one wasn't written with CGD? Is that allowed?

    :lol:

    I'll turn a blind eye on this occasion, after all it's got otters in it.
  • edited July 2013
    Is that the first ever example of a completely new genre, the OMG (otter management game)? Soon there will be MMOMG's everywhere!
  • edited July 2013
    I'm not sure if it helps to explain myself, but this entry started earlier this year as Cows on a Plane, after I heard a program on the radio about how many cows you actually can transport on a modified Boeing 737. I'm afraid I can't recall the exact number, but it was rather large.

    Naturally, I felt an urge to go ahead with making a game about it. Somewhere along the way, the cows got replaced by otters, and then I had to make up some game rules to get some kind of playability, even if it still is a lot by chance. The lawnmower element was the last to be added, as I figured it might be a world's first to have a game featuring both otters, an airplane and a lawnmower! Please correct me if I'm wrong on that.

    Now back to regular programming, the cows are getting avid to star in one more game.

    Edit: I had to look it up. A fully grown cow weighs between 450-650 kg depending on race. A heifer at the time of breeding have reached half that weight, and at the time of calving at least 85% of the final weight. The infamous Korean airplane that had an emergency landing at Heathrow had 390 cows onboard. The freight versions of 747 and 777 hold between 103 to 134 ton of cargo, which would mean the cows weigh 264-343 kg each. A woman on the radio who exports cows to Pakistan said she usually puts 165 heifers with 2-5 months left to calving onto a 747 or 777, which sounds more human.
  • So this plane has strip of grass running down the aisle? You're straddling 2 mini compos with this one! What a shame you couldn't have added some cricket elements as well. :)
  • edited July 2013
    carlsson wrote: »
    Naturally, I felt an urge to go ahead with making a game about it. Somewhere along the way, the cows got replaced by otters, and then I had to make up some game rules to get some kind of playability, even if it still is a lot by chance. The lawnmower element was the last to be added, as I figured it might be a world's first to have a game featuring both otters, an airplane and a lawnmower! Please correct me if I'm wrong on that.

    Now back to regular programming, the cows are getting avid to star in one more game..

    I can confidently say without even doing any research that this is a true statement!
    carlsson wrote: »
    Edit: I had to look it up. A fully grown cow weighs between 450-650 kg depending on race. A heifer at the time of breeding have reached half that weight, and at the time of calving at least 85% of the final weight. The infamous Korean airplane that had an emergency landing at Heathrow had 390 cows onboard. The freight versions of 747 and 777 hold between 103 to 134 ton of cargo, which would mean the cows weigh 264-343 kg each. A woman on the radio who exports cows to Pakistan said she usually puts 165 heifers with 2-5 months left to calving onto a 747 or 777, which sounds more human.

    Let's get to the bottom of the science of this, if a 747 typically holds 103 tons of cargo, and the average weight of a european otter is 10kg, then you can get 10,300 otters on a plane! And assuming the plane in your game is a 747, why can you only get 18 poxy otters on it? :p
  • edited July 2013
    Hm.. true. I might need to offer an UDG add-on which replaces the otters by elephants. I reckon you on average could fit about 18 elephants on a 747. The other explanation is of course the airplane in OOAP is not a jumbojet, but rather a one man vessel, where a cargo load of 180 kg is about what you can bring.

    The list of spin-offs is enormous: cows, elephants, Commode 64 owners.. but then you'd pressing the "K" button and take every opportunity to use the lawnmower.
  • edited July 2013
    carlsson wrote: »
    The list of spin-offs is enormous: cows, elephants, Commode 64 owners.. but then you'd pressing the "K" button and take every opportunity to use the lawnmower.

    Oh no, you have given me an idea for a new game, never mind blasting aliens, criminals, terrorists etc...

    I cant think of a more deserving recipient of lazers and missiles than the Commodore 64 owners community!

    Or would it not be politically correct these days to glorify violence against middle class former owners of a 1980's micro?
  • edited July 2013
    Oh no, you have given me an idea for a new game, never mind blasting aliens, criminals, terrorists etc...

    I cant think of a more deserving recipient of lazers and missiles than the Commodore 64 owners community!

    Or would it not be politically correct these days to glorify violence against middle class former owners of a 1980's micro?

    This could start a war where C64 enthusiasts create games where you mow down speccy owners

    I say go for it
  • edited July 2013
    slenkar wrote: »
    This could start a war where C64 enthusiasts create games where you mow down speccy owners

    I say go for it

    LOL! Lets go for it!!!
  • edited July 2013
    Don't know, it seems a bit cruel, the C64 owners from my neck of the woods were all wimpy kids from wealthy middle class backgrounds, they got bullied enough back then without resurrecting the vendetta!

    LOL! :p
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