Weird snippets of other people's conversations

Maroc's Other Projection · February 2016

When I'm out and about I often catch snippets of other people's conversation that are either really weird or just confusing (especially when taken out of context).

I was walking past an art gallery/shop the other day and a young bloke (mid twenties maybe) walked out. As he left the shop he shouted back in, "It's ok, money's no object. I've got £154,000 sitting in the bank!"

1024MAK · February 2016

Err, you should hear some of the partly work related, partly gossip, partly talking about the management, and anything else that comes to mind that some staff chat about while on the phone...!!!!

Not to mention the, err, double meanings in reference to equipment, made to brighten up the day :D

zx1 · February 2016

The one i heard whilst walking past 2 girls in Glasgow recently, one said to the other 'I didn't want him staring at my nipples all day so i wore......' :))

Spex · February 2016

I went through a phase of being within earshot of people talking about things loudly. Had the unfortunate experience to be on a bus at school ending time and this kid had been given a hard time by some girl. The bit I overheard was "Then she said I look like Tamwar" (Eastenders character). Of course I looked and he did!
My fave was again on a bus and this stupid girl was on her mobile telling her mate she was going to the Doctors as her "boobies are too big, innit". She then went into a lot of detail about the matter, to which EVERYONE on this packed London rush hour bus were all doing their best to pretend they weren't listening....you can imagine where they were looking when she got off.

fog · February 2016

girl with pushchair and ciggy on the go.. walking past the bus stop ".. yerr I'm £3000 in rent arrears with the council, spent a load of money on clothes and phone, oh well if they chuck me out I'll just go to another council"... I did bite my lip , thats a few years back.

years ago, I was kissing g/f at the time at blue water shopping centre in kent (?) (not exactly in public view) .. and a fat chatham chav at the top of her voice "oi you 2 .. stop eating each ovva" .

lots of people walk around talking to themselves, years ago you knew it wasn't their phone they were talking to

leespoons · February 2016

Was in Waitrose yesterday, posh older mum with her probably late teenage daughter at the till next to me.

Daughter: "...How long does it take to get a divorce? Is it instant?"
Mum: (mumbles something indistinct)
Daughter: "...So you could divorce Daddy, marry someone else, he'd be my stepdad, and then divorce him straight away?"

As they used to say on Neighbours, "What was all that about?!"

Maroc's Other Projection · February 2016

Two of the cleaners in work talking today as I walked past:

'So, he showed me a magic trick and he called me Coco Flowers'

GreenCard · February 2016

I was in my local sushi shop Friday just gone, there were two blokes in front of me in the line, early 20s, a bit hipster-y. One said to the other, in a really snotty manner...

"I don't find the food in here much of a challenge, to be honest."

I almost laughed out loud. Why the heck would you want eating to be a challenge?! Eat it whilst standing on your head without using your hands then, you tw*t!

dm_boozefreek · February 2016

Girl at work

"....It was huge, and after I had it I felt so stretched out I didn't think I'd be able to walk"

Sounds filthy, and I burst out laughing as I walked past.....Turns out she was talking about trying to eat a giant burrito from a Mexican restaurant.

AndyC · February 2016

On board Sundays wandering through town a friend and I would occasionally play the "weird snippet of conversation" game. Essentially as someone came past, or you went into a lift or whatever, you had to come out with the most randomly obscure bit of "conversation" which the other had to just go along with to see how people reacted.

I wonder if people still do that.

Scottie_uk · February 2016

I don't know about snippets, but when I was in my teens I once walked in to a female friends house. It was the weekend and she'd just had a sleep over with several of her other female friends. As I walked down the hallway to the lounge where they all were I heard these words "oh my god, you should of seen the look on your face when you came". I entered the room and obviously the topic of conversation quickly changed and there they all sat all rosy faced and embarrassed.

As a teenager those words were instantly etched on my brain.

dm_boozefreek · February 2016

Jesus! I bet your knob twitches every time you think about that :p

def chris · February 2016

leespoons wrote: »

Was in Waitrose yesterday, posh older mum with her probably late teenage daughter at the till next to me.

Daughter: "...How long does it take to get a divorce? Is it instant?"
Mum: (mumbles something indistinct)
Daughter: "...So you could divorce Daddy, marry someone else, he'd be my stepdad, and then divorce him straight away?"

As they used to say on Neighbours, "What was all that about?!"

ok let's see, maybe she got the part of the girl in a new british tv remake of 'My Two Dads' and is trying to do some hardcore method acting in preparation, Robert De Niro stylee.... she needs 2 dads in real life, but doesn't want her mum to really leave her actual dad for good...... yes, that's definitely it.

GReW · February 2016

Last week, I was getting a pie in the Greggs opposite the Crown Court, and I heard a woman say "...I don't care if you wanted him dead, tell the Judge you stabbed him on accident and try to look sorry."

Her very bored sounding son (wearing what was presumably his 'court outfit' of polo shirt, tie and tracksuit pants) replied "Yeah mum, whatev's. Can I have two sausage rolls and a Fanta?" :-O

Scottie_uk · February 2016

dm_boozefreek wrote: »

Jesus! I bet your knob twitches every time you think about that :p

Oh most definitely it did. It was filed in the bank and for and at least for a few years.

You know at the time I never told anyone, in fact think you folks might only have been the second time I've told that to anyone. In my teens I had this bizarre misguided notion that the way to get girls in to bed was to be an all round nice guy and that meant not telling tales. Also by telling others the rumors would have spread and my chance of getting any would be less than they already were. Anyway I always kind of liked the idea of it being my known secret. I guess I'll never really know, in context that sentence could have meant something completely different.

Bermondsey Bob · February 2016

I've heard plenty of funny things in passing over the years. Some of my favourites are:

First two from in work:

"I don't care what anyone says, there's nothing like the satisfaction you get from scratching your piles..."

And

A girl said to her boyfriend "I need to get something to help my feet" to which the boyfriend replied instantly "yeah, because they don't half stink"

And one from my last trip to Blackpool just minutes off of the train:

There were a group of chavs, three guys and a girl. I heard the girl say "...and then he said "oh go on, that way I can have a wank over ya"..."

festershinetop · February 2016

Two kids in their late teens in a game shop in Bristol back in early 2000's

"The Getaway is well better than GTA because when you get hit by a car you die instantly"

4 or so kids playing football at the garages near the back of my neighbours garden on a cool summer day.

"F--- this, this is gay lets go round Toms and play Fifa Street"

Grunaki · February 2016

Few years ago - I was in a lift with a colleague and two other guys got in.

One of them says to the other "it's like I was saying to my son, Zeke.." Then they got to their floor and left.

I said to my colleague "that guy named his son Zeke". He replied " yeah, I know. That's messed up."

Luny · February 2016

or

"it's like I was saying to my son, Zeke is a silly name, that's why I called you Tarquin."

zx1 · February 2016

Some years ago on the bus i remember a group of neds at the back of the bus talking loudly about going to Blackpool for a weekend, one of them discussed loudly about 'we need to poach a motor'. I assume they were going to nick a car for this, i wonder if they made it. They looked they wouldn't even know what a car was for :))

Scottie_uk · February 2016

zx1 wrote: »

Some years ago on the bus i remember a group of neds at the back of the bus talking loudly about going to Blackpool for a weekend, one of them discussed loudly about 'we need to poach a motor'. I assume they were going to nick a car for this, i wonder if they made it. They looked they wouldn't even know what a car was for :))

Maybe they were going to rob a Tandys

Scottie_uk · February 2016

Grunaki wrote: »

Few years ago - I was in a lift with a colleague and two other guys got in.

One of them says to the other "it's like I was saying to my son, Zeke.." Then they got to their floor and left.

I said to my colleague "that guy named his son Zeke". He replied " yeah, I know. That's messed up."

I've been thinking about this. Are you sure the man speaking was not Australian or South African and white.

Grunaki · February 2016

Pretty sure, but it was in about 2007 so I might be a bit fuzzy on the minutae..

Bermondsey Bob · February 2016

I just walked past a couple of girls in work this morning, both in their early 20's I'd guess. They were talking as they came into the shop and the only part of the conversation I heard was:

"...and then I put a blindfold on him..." to which the other girl sounded shocked.

I didn't hear any more of the conversation :-(

dm_boozefreek · February 2016

Her son was obviously having a Pinjata for his birthday, and she was no doubt telling her friend about all the fun they had at the party :D

Luny · February 2016

... he might have accidentally banged her with is large stick whilst playing!?!

Maroc's Other Projection · February 2016

Grunaki wrote: »

Few years ago - I was in a lift with a colleague and two other guys got in.

One of them says to the other "it's like I was saying to my son, Zeke.." Then they got to their floor and left.

I said to my colleague "that guy named his son Zeke". He replied " yeah, I know. That's messed up."

Years and years ago my dad used to work with a guy called Zeke. Whenever the name Zeke is mentioned my dad always tells a story about the day he gave Zeke some of his homebrew (which was really strong). Zeke wasn't in work the next day and (apparently) another friend walked past his house, looked through the window and saw him slumped in his armchair. At first they thought he was dead, but it turned out he was just very, very hungover!

leespoons · February 2016

Ha, that's a great story. Only Zeke I've ever heard of is this guy... The Man Ezeke

http://www.tvcream.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/manezeke1.JPG

Antiriad2097 · February 2016

Isn't Zeke just a short form of Ezekiel, an old name that's been around for at least as long as the bible?

Maroc's Other Projection · February 2016

Antiriad2097 wrote: »

Isn't Zeke just a short form of Ezekiel, an old name that's been around for at least as long as the bible?

Yeah. Strange how some biblical names have longevity and others don't. Some are obvious, you don't get many kids called Judas (well, except for Arnold Judas Rimmer!), and I don't think it's legal to be called Jesus in the UK.

I guess it's often the rather scary families in the American Deep South (and the Dingles in Emmerdale!) who choose the more 'outdated' ones ;)

Antiriad2097 · February 2016

Jesus is a very common name in the hispanic community, so I'd be doubting any illegality of the name. What could be more devout than naming your son that as a constant reminder?

Names come and go, give it a few generations and they cycle round again. My granddaugher was given what I'd always considered an 'old lady name', but apparently they're in vogue with the young 'uns.

Weird snippets of other people's conversations

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