aw crap, there is so much red tape before I actually begin work for them, don't have a start date
just got shed loads of bumph e-mailed to me that I have to complete, including a 5 fecking page medical questionnaire, which might well see me royally screwed before I begin - depending on how they chose to interpret the answers.
Easy solution, be economical with the truth.
then we have the long wait for all the references, and CRB check, which last time I had one took months.
I'd be surprised, my wife has hers redone every couple of years and it only takes a week or so.
A lot of places that claim to do background checks really don't.
When I worked for Compaq they had a claimed 100% background check program but I know they didn't because a couple of the guys I worked with had 'issues' that would have stopped their apps in the tracks
1 didn't have a high school diploma/GED which was 100% required by compaq, another turned out to be a 2x murderer!..so glad I was nice to him.
(he killed a dude that raped his sister and got 10yrs and killed someone in jail which was put down as self defense).
My last job I did the interviewing and we claimed background checks and didn't do any.
Point being...you might want to leave it off if you think it's an issue.
Congrats on the new job.
Started one myself a couple of months ago, its challenging but probably the job I have been waiting for and oner I am proud to do.
Regarding your background, depending on what it was and if the conviction is now"spent", you must be treated as a person with a "clean slate". Human beings make mistakes sometimes.....except for Mrs Spex, who was Miss Right and is now just always right!
Yeah, not sure how I missed that either, but congrats on getting the job. Hopefully it'll be a step towards what you really want to get into, it's always easier to get a job if you already have one.
5 weeks after I was offered the job, and no start date. No induction day.
NHS interview, - I had to shut the feck up, bite my tongue, and keep my opinions to myself, as the guy that interviewed me demonstrated a complete ignorance of employment law, and for example told me that he was only hiring men as women couldn't do the job. He can't claim an exemption for the job.
He told me he was interviewing me for a full time job, I explained that I had applied for a part time job. He moaned that I was late, I showed my appointment slip, I was 5 minutes early. Guy that interviewed me was a senior manager in charge of many departments, doubt I'll see him again.
Anyway, less than an hour later, they phoned me and offered me the job. Great.
A week later, I finally get a shed load of e-mails, read this, sign that, check that, post this, declare the other.
13 page policy on smoking. I don't smoke. I understand "NO SMOKING ANYWHERE ON THE PREMISES" - guess whose name is on the 13 page document, yup the manager who interviewed me.
next of kin, pay, 5 page occupational health questionnaire - with a stern warning to declare everything.
I had to print all these off and return them, they sent me separately a CRB form, to complete and return. Oh, and all correspondence so far has had at least one error each time, such as wrong extension number, or unclear and contradictory instructions on weather to post or e-mail etc
So, I did. Have you ever been admitted to a&e, had an accident etc? Because I answered yes to at least one of those questions, I had to attend an interview with a nurse in the occupational health section, who said yeah - you're good to do. BUT, we just need to write to your GP to get him to rubber stamp it. Phone us in two weeks if you haven't heard anything. That will be tomorrow.
Last night I got an e-mail from Employment Services,
I have posted another CRB form to you today 22 August 2011, in case you didn't receive the first one we sent on 27 July 2011. Please complete and return as soon as possible with the other forms attached to our previous email.
So, either they have lost it.
It didn't arrive (unlikely).
I sent two letters, one with all the forms, one with the CRB, and they have only just got around to opening the first letter.
Honestly, they couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery.
I didn't get the job at the Citizens Advice Bureau, but another one has come up in admin, I am applying, if I get that, I might well feck the NHS job off.
(they are both part-time jobs).
CRB checks are massivly behind schedule so it's probably their way of fudging the numbers so they don't look as far out of SLA as they are
Another glorious bit of red tape that doesn't increase anyone's protection (all a CRB tells you is that the person caught after all, not that they're a criminal)
We've had people work for us on a temp basis for months before their CRBs came back...
We get income support at the moment. We had to fill in another form, OR ELSE!
We did, they rejected it because we hadn't completed it properly.
What didn't we tell them?
The address of our nearest post office.
Apart from the fact they all closed down, standard procedure used to be to nominate nearest crown post office, if claimant didn't say. Just another way of clearing their work load, rejected it because we didn't write the address of a post office in, we said absoultely everything else, in triplicate, account numbers of pension funds, dates they pay out, etc etc etc
Fookin' el man you went through all that bureaucratic crap! That would certainly do my head in. NHS is also one of those other employers that are OTT when it comes to employing new staff - one can understand the checks involved in a way, but unless your actually working on a ward and treating patients, then why do they need to know all this crap? The worlds gone bonkers!
Watch out, they may want to know the size of your nob next, what underwear you wear, and the size of your wife's tits and how many times a day you go for a dump :lol:
Fookin' el man you went through all that bureaucratic crap! That would certainly do my head in. NHS is also one of those other employers that are OTT when it comes to employing new staff - one can understand the checks involved in a way, but unless your actually working on a ward and treating patients, then why do they need to know all this crap? The worlds gone bonkers!
Watch out, they may want to know the size of your nob next, what underwear you wear, and the size of your wife's tits and how many times a day you go for a dump :lol:
And how many sheets of bumwad you use before you draw an ace :p
All of this admin stuff reminds me of the last interview I had (also in the public sector, local government this time though). I got shortlisted for interview and the instructions said that I had to bring with me on the day all of my education certificates from school through university to professional certificates.
I had no idea where my school certs were, and also couldn't lay my hands on my degree cetificate, so had to spend ?80 in all getting copies of everything from the various exam boards etc. Turned up on the day with my papers to be told "oh, we don't actually need them, no one ever bothers to bring them in..."
All of this admin stuff reminds me of the last interview I had (also in the public sector, local government this time though). I got shortlisted for interview and the instructions said that I had to bring with me on the day all of my education certificates from school through university to professional certificates.
I had no idea where my school certs were, and also couldn't lay my hands on my degree cetificate, so had to spend ?80 in all getting copies of everything from the various exam boards etc. Turned up on the day with my papers to be told "oh, we don't actually need them, no one ever bothers to bring them in..."
oh agreed - just saying that this "fill in another form" thing could just be a cover story for the backlog....put the blame elsewhere etc
Just tried to track mine, with the forms reference number;
Tracking Service
Please enter the Disclosure application form reference number and the applicant's date of birth.
Warning We are unable to process this request because the CRB has not received the corresponding Disclosure application form XXXXXXXXXXXX
Please contact the Umbrella or Registered Body that countersigned this application.
For enquiries or further information about the Disclosure process, please telephone the CRB on 0870 90 90 811 quoting the form reference number entered.
Maybe they employ Vogons?
Oh well, I shall try and phone occupational health later today, and chase up that side of the paperwork.
Thought id mention my new job, yup, finally ive found a new job,
But first the history
I was made redundant in February of last year, then 3 months later i was taken back on by the same company. Then 6 months later (in November) i was let ago again (and mi mate who'd previously been sacked was taken back on in my place)
Since then i've struggled to apply for jobs as i dont drive so in 90% of cases i cant physically get to the shift, or home after so no point applying.
Anyway today i got the call, been taken on for the new visitor attraction coming to Whitby, HMS Bark Endeavour, a new thing for the town, a new thing for me, completely different to what i have previously done, but they like the mass of skills i have from previous jobs so.......
And £9 an hour, loads more than the minimum wage im used to, its like winning the lottery
Post edited by mel the bell on
Professional Mel-the-Bell Simulator................"So realistic, I found myself reaching for the Kleenex King-Size!" - Richard Darling
Great! I hope it works out for you and lasts the course. Any links? I guess I could Google it myself. Are you going to need to get knowledgeable about ships? What an interesting vessel
Great! I hope it works out for you and lasts the course. Any links? I guess I could Google it myself. Are you going to need to get knowledgeable about ships? What an interesting vessel
Comments
I'd have thought that would make it easier. :)
If you have a record they can just pull it up and check it. If you're not known to the police they have no idea who you are :)
When I worked for Compaq they had a claimed 100% background check program but I know they didn't because a couple of the guys I worked with had 'issues' that would have stopped their apps in the tracks
1 didn't have a high school diploma/GED which was 100% required by compaq, another turned out to be a 2x murderer!..so glad I was nice to him.
(he killed a dude that raped his sister and got 10yrs and killed someone in jail which was put down as self defense).
My last job I did the interviewing and we claimed background checks and didn't do any.
Point being...you might want to leave it off if you think it's an issue.
Started one myself a couple of months ago, its challenging but probably the job I have been waiting for and oner I am proud to do.
Regarding your background, depending on what it was and if the conviction is now"spent", you must be treated as a person with a "clean slate". Human beings make mistakes sometimes.....except for Mrs Spex, who was Miss Right and is now just always right!
NHS interview, - I had to shut the feck up, bite my tongue, and keep my opinions to myself, as the guy that interviewed me demonstrated a complete ignorance of employment law, and for example told me that he was only hiring men as women couldn't do the job. He can't claim an exemption for the job.
He told me he was interviewing me for a full time job, I explained that I had applied for a part time job. He moaned that I was late, I showed my appointment slip, I was 5 minutes early. Guy that interviewed me was a senior manager in charge of many departments, doubt I'll see him again.
Anyway, less than an hour later, they phoned me and offered me the job. Great.
A week later, I finally get a shed load of e-mails, read this, sign that, check that, post this, declare the other.
13 page policy on smoking. I don't smoke. I understand "NO SMOKING ANYWHERE ON THE PREMISES" - guess whose name is on the 13 page document, yup the manager who interviewed me.
next of kin, pay, 5 page occupational health questionnaire - with a stern warning to declare everything.
I had to print all these off and return them, they sent me separately a CRB form, to complete and return. Oh, and all correspondence so far has had at least one error each time, such as wrong extension number, or unclear and contradictory instructions on weather to post or e-mail etc
So, I did. Have you ever been admitted to a&e, had an accident etc? Because I answered yes to at least one of those questions, I had to attend an interview with a nurse in the occupational health section, who said yeah - you're good to do. BUT, we just need to write to your GP to get him to rubber stamp it. Phone us in two weeks if you haven't heard anything. That will be tomorrow.
Last night I got an e-mail from Employment Services,
So, either they have lost it.
It didn't arrive (unlikely).
I sent two letters, one with all the forms, one with the CRB, and they have only just got around to opening the first letter.
Honestly, they couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery.
I didn't get the job at the Citizens Advice Bureau, but another one has come up in admin, I am applying, if I get that, I might well feck the NHS job off.
(they are both part-time jobs).
5 weeks ago I was offered the job now.
Another glorious bit of red tape that doesn't increase anyone's protection (all a CRB tells you is that the person caught after all, not that they're a criminal)
We've had people work for us on a temp basis for months before their CRBs came back...
It has to actually be sent off by the NHS in order to be backlogged.
We get income support at the moment. We had to fill in another form, OR ELSE!
We did, they rejected it because we hadn't completed it properly.
What didn't we tell them?
The address of our nearest post office.
Apart from the fact they all closed down, standard procedure used to be to nominate nearest crown post office, if claimant didn't say. Just another way of clearing their work load, rejected it because we didn't write the address of a post office in, we said absoultely everything else, in triplicate, account numbers of pension funds, dates they pay out, etc etc etc
Fookin' el man you went through all that bureaucratic crap! That would certainly do my head in. NHS is also one of those other employers that are OTT when it comes to employing new staff - one can understand the checks involved in a way, but unless your actually working on a ward and treating patients, then why do they need to know all this crap? The worlds gone bonkers!
Watch out, they may want to know the size of your nob next, what underwear you wear, and the size of your wife's tits and how many times a day you go for a dump :lol:
And how many sheets of bumwad you use before you draw an ace :p
It's not even the same trust's.. they should just standardise it and be done.
I had no idea where my school certs were, and also couldn't lay my hands on my degree cetificate, so had to spend ?80 in all getting copies of everything from the various exam boards etc. Turned up on the day with my papers to be told "oh, we don't actually need them, no one ever bothers to bring them in..."
Boobs :evil:
How very true
Just tried to track mine, with the forms reference number;
Maybe they employ Vogons?
Oh well, I shall try and phone occupational health later today, and chase up that side of the paperwork.
Nope, they've had nothing back from GP who needs to rubber stamp it, so can I please chase my GP up.
D'oh!
But first the history
I was made redundant in February of last year, then 3 months later i was taken back on by the same company. Then 6 months later (in November) i was let ago again (and mi mate who'd previously been sacked was taken back on in my place)
Since then i've struggled to apply for jobs as i dont drive so in 90% of cases i cant physically get to the shift, or home after so no point applying.
Anyway today i got the call, been taken on for the new visitor attraction coming to Whitby, HMS Bark Endeavour, a new thing for the town, a new thing for me, completely different to what i have previously done, but they like the mass of skills i have from previous jobs so.......
And £9 an hour, loads more than the minimum wage im used to, its like winning the lottery
https://www.whitbygazette.co.uk/news/work-begins-to-move-the-endeavour-replica-to-whitby-1-9078846
https://mb.boardhost.com/BikerMike/index.html?1593001131
I recall a Sex Pistols song that you can sing upon a boat.
Download the latest version of Bomb Munchies Ver2210 4th July 2020
there might be klingons on the starboard bow tho