TODDLER TROUBLE
(Zenobi Software)

Spectrum 48K/128K+2


The Daily Expatiator

31st October 1996

Ante-Natal Shock                                      Elvis Lives by T. Turnip
by BLAIR UNDERWEAR,                                   
legal correspondent.                                  In a shock announcement to the
The latest in a long series of shocks to              extraordinaire, Small Daniels
strike our cosy little town                           claims that, "I was recently
is the news that the local ante-                      offered a post doing all
natal clinic, run by Mr. Joe                          magical tricks of the King.
McElpful, has been charging                           While he plays his "guitar" and
exorbitant rates for its services                     sings his melodious songs, I am
unbeknown to the mothers that                         to perform various feats of
have enrolled there. Ms. Susan                        magic. It is an honour to serve
Brief, the editor of this famed                       under such a man. He's a living
newspaper, is among one of the                        legend."
unsuspecting women who have
fallen victim to McElpful's                                 Mr. Daniels, who was
scheme. Nurse Aphrodite                               recently promoted to the
Turnip, an employee of the clinic,                    hallowed rank of sorcerer, told
told the Expatiator that, "Such a                     our reporter that Elvis is now
notion is balderdash. Mr.                             living at Graceland Avenue,
McElpful is a very respectable                        Upper Kissing. An
man and he would never do such                        investigation is in progress.
a thing." We shall leave that up to
you, as the reader, to decide.
                                                      Serpents by Ophelia
      In legal terms, it is
unfortunate that the mothers who have been            "Ophelia's Ophidian Opera" has re-opened in
"taken for a ride" - the words of Mrs. N.             Upper Kissing. Everyone is welcome to visit
Mansell - don't have a leg to stand on. This is       the wonderful snakes. It's perfectly safe. Free
unfortunate as Mr. L. Lawley, the solicitor on        stuffed python given to all kids.
behalf of the MAROM (Mothers Against Rip-
Off Merchants) has explained, "They all signed
contracts, but I can assure you that I will use all   Mutiny! by Dr. Jamie Catchpole
my resources to ensure that they are                  A chronicle of the mutiny which
compensated. It would not be the first time that      occurred aboard the writer's great-great-
I have performed miracles." Mr. Lawley is             grandfather's ship - the Inferno - 142 years
renowned in The Jig and Thistle for drinking          ago has been unearthed. It is available for
ten pints of Carlsberg in under an hour.              public inspection at the Kissing Book Society.

Global Roundness by Fred Brief                        New Tea-Room by Dethby Poysin
      I recently chatted to Professor Aristotle             Lady Matilda Hodgkins has opened a
Popodopolis of the University of Athens. He           new tea-room in our town. It is believed that it
explained to me that the world is round because       will attract a great range of up-market
that's the way it was created. My geography           customers although ordinary, run-of-the-mill
teacher (who can't be named for legal reasons -       townsfolk are most welcome. The Violator of
Ed.) was so shocked that she "downed" a basin         Vindaloo herself told us, "I plan to use my own
of coffee and hasn't been seen since. I just          buns and rock-cakes to enhance the teas." We
thought I'd let you all know the truth. By the        will keep you informed -in the obituaries.
way, I love you, Abigail, if you're out there!        


Kevin, Julia Briefs precious toddler, followed her into the Ante-Natal
Clinic on the "Zikov Kiddie-Leash" that she had recently invested in.
Not only would it keep him at arms length, but it would stop him
from straying. Julia was settling her account from two years prior to
that date. Recently she had - for a second time - left her husband
Pete, since he had returned to his incorrigible habits. She was,
therefore, forced to work seven part-time jobs in order to repay her
debt. She was not particularly devoted to Pete by that stage.

"I have a cheque for 2,500 here to pay for ante-natal fees from 1994,"
Julia told Nurse Aphrodite, now employed by Kissing Private Health.

"Eh?" said the nurse. "Bit late, ain't it, Mrs. Grief?" Julia pointed out
that her surname was Brief and Aphrodite continued, "Okay, that's
fair 'nuff, but be a bit quicker next time."

"Sorry, Aph. I only had two years of scrimping and saving," she told
her amnesiac friend who seemed to have not only forgotten how to zip
up her uniform (it was the wrong way round too), but also Julia.

While Julia was pondering her friend's sorry state, her cheeky lad had
gnawed through the leash. "That's what Calcium Supplements does
to kids teeth," remarked the bouncer who stood at the door. "There's
no substitute for good old breast milk." Julia tended to agree, but by
the time that she realised exactly what the heck the bouncer had been
talking about, her son had rushed past the bouncer, making a
raspberry sound on his way. Julia ground her teeth as she saw Kevin
disappear out the door with the red "neverend" lollipop that she had
given him to shut his gob. Nothing for it but to find him!

Julia had known from the very first moment she had laid eyes on
Kevin (in the Maternity Ward of Kissing General Hospital in the
Summer of 1994) that he would doubtlessly give her no end of ...

			TODDLER TROUBLE

This game - a Brief Tale - is a sequel to For Pete's Sake and Labour
Pains and, though there is no need to have played the previous games
beforehand, it may actually help. Toddler Trouble consists of two
parts, the second of which is accessed by a password provided at the
end of the first. Normal adventuring commands apply to this game,
but if you are in any doubt VOCAB and INFO will provide you with
further information. You will benefit immensely from conversing with
the various characters you meet throughout the game and this can be
facilitated by typing the character's name followed by the query or
command; eg. APHRODITE TELL ME ABOUT THE BOUNCER.
